Until the End
by Doctor Rose Belikova
Summary: Alt. ending to SK. What if this time, it was Rose who left? Rose is forced to leave to keep her freinds safe; what happens 3 years later when she finally comes back? Will she be able to keep everyone safe, or will more people die before the happy ending which seems to be nowhere in sight? Title: Until the End by Breaking Benjamin
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: New Story! Dimitri survived the attack, this is a month after; Rose is 18, they are secretly together, Lissa doesn't know, no one but Adrian, and Alberta do._

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, but I do own the plot line and Seneca Ackes.

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><p><em>I finally put it all together,<br>But nothing really lasts forever  
>I had to make a choice that was not mine,<br>I had to say goodbye for the last time _

_- Call me, Shinedown _

RPOV:

I skipped into morning practice, excited to see my Russian God. I'd missed him last night as he had a night shift, and couldn't wait to see him again.

As I reached the open gym doors, I slowed down and stealthily sneaked in. Dimitri was reading one of his numerous westerns, and I could hear the soft strains of his music. He was completely unsuspecting, or so I thought.

Just as I was within a foot of his chair and ready to spring, he said without turning around, "Roza what are you doing?" amusement clear in his voice.

I huffed with annoyance, straightening from my crouch. "I was _going_ to attack you," I said a bit grumpily, walking over to the front of his chair. He looked up at me as I stood in front of him, a smile lighting up his face as he gazed at me.

"Oh, Roza," he said, standing up. "You should know by now that you can never sneak up on me; I'll always know you're there."

My heart skipped a beat when he called me by my Russian name. "Well, you never know Comrade. Someday I might." I grinned up at him as he came up to me. He brushed a kiss on my lips, then pulled away. I knew we couldn't kiss properly with the door open, but the teasing kiss just left me wanting more.

"Alright, Roza, laps, then we'll fight." Dimitri said, stepping toward the track.

"Race you!" I called, sprinting off toward the track, Dimitri hot on my heels. (_A/N: Dimitri hot on my heels...hehehe XD)_

As soon as my feet hit the track, I took off, running my laps in a race against Dimitri, who was gaining on me. We ran, neck and neck, until the last lap, when he began to pull ahead.

_Oh no you don't! _I thought to myself, forcing my legs to run even faster. We ran at top speeds until the finish line. Both of us streaked over it, trying to slow down. We stumbled to a stop, and Dimitri bent down, resting his hands on his thighs, breathing hard. I simply flopped on the ground panting.

"That was a tie," he gasped out, looking at me with pride and love in his eyes. I grinned at him, and nodded, unable to speak.

After a few moments, Dimitri straightened up, and stretched out a hand to help me up. I grabbed it and hauled myself up, stumbling slightly against him. He wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me. Lingering there a beat longer than strictly allowed, he released me once I was steady.

We made our way back to the gym, and combat training started. It went just like any other day, although the sexual tension was heightened tenfold since we hadn't seen each other last night.

At one point, Dimitri pinned me, holding me down with his full weight. Our eyes met, and it was like a fire was lit between us. His lips crashed down on mine furiously. I pressed myself closer as our lips moved in sync. A warm feeling spread across my entire body, encasing me with wonderful, tingly feelings that only Dimitri could bring out. I never wanted this to end.

But, it had to. Dimitri forced himself to pull away reluctantly. He hovered over me, his hair loose and hanging around his face, a smile sparkling on his lips. He was a god.

"Roza," he whispered, his love shining from his eyes. "I love you, forever and always, no matter what."

My answering smile was just as brilliant as his. "I love you too. For all eternity."

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><p>On my way back from training, I was suddenly pulled into a clump of trees, completely out of sight. I quickly spun around to see my attacker. The person I saw surprised me.<p>

It was Seneca Ackes. She was a non-royal Moroi, with a bit of a reputation for being shady. (A/n: think of her as Abe's competition) My eyes widened. "What do you want?"

Seneca smirked. "It appears as if you pissed off someone veeeeeeeeeeeeeerrry _important." _she sneered. "I was asked to let you know that unless you leave Dimitri Belikov and disappear off the face of this earth, there will be _no _Dimitri for you to save. And if that's not incentive enough..." her smirk broadened. "Well, I'm sure you have plenty of friends. Like the Dragomir Princess. Heard you guys were close. And what was that other kid? Adrian? Heard he's a looker. And who else, who else. Hm. That Strigoi wannabe? Christian, is it? Oh, and the list goes on and on!"

Ice filled my veins. No. She couldn't hurt them! "Who wants this?" I asked, covering my fear.

Seneca looked at me cruelly. "Let me put it this way, little girl: they wanted it enough to go to me. And I'll tell you this, too: I _never _go back on a promise, and I _never _forget. And if you even _think _about going away, then coming back: I have eyes _everywhere. _I give you a week. Get out before then, or else..." she walked away, smirking.

I started to shake. No. No. No no no no no no. Not Dimitri. Or Lissa. Or anybody else. I needed to get away. But first, I had to make sure that Dimitri didn't follow. I knew perfectly well that what Seneca said was true; I also knew it was totally impersonal; she was just the executioner. Which also made me realize there was nothing I could do. Whoever did this, they gave Seneca something big. Threatening the Dragomir Princess, _and _the Queen's nephew? Yeah, something huge. Which meant I had to disappear asap.

I took a deep breath, and went Adrian.

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><p>As soon as I stepped into his room, I knew exactly what I had to do. I hoped he understood, since I couldn't really tell him the truth without putting him in danger. So I seduced him, so to speak.<p>

I, of course, didn't want to actually have sex with him; I only wanted that with Dimitri. My heart ripped open a bit more when I had that thought. I could never make love with Dimitri again. Hopefully, he wouldn't even want to look at me by the end of this. I swallowed, and put on a seductive look.

I turned to Adrian and smiled my man eater smile. "Hey Adrian," I purred, walking slowly toward him, swaying my hips.

Adrian gulped. "Rose," he said, his voice shaky.

I trailed my finger down his chest. "What do you think about you and me, getting together tomorrow night?" I looked up at him through hooded lids.

He swallowed again, his Adam's apple bobbing. "What about – what about Dimitri?" he breathed out, struggling to maintain his composure.

I rolled my eyes like the thought was ludicrous. Inside though, I was falling into pieces. "Who cares?" I smiled at him. "We are soooo over." I blocked all thoughts of my betrayal to him from my mind. I hoped Adrian was intoxicated enough to not see my aura, and judging by his glazed expression, even if he wasn't, he wouldn't notice anything at this moment in time.

He nodded. "Okay, okay, where?" he asked eagerly.

I hesitated. "In my room." I replied. I glanced at the clock on his wall. Shit. "But, babe, I must go to class now. See you tomorrow night." I reached up, standing on my tippy toes and squelching any thoughts of disgust going through my mind, and kissed him.

I left Adrian stunned in his room. Next step, going to Lissa.

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><p>I came up to her at the tail end of breakfast. "Hey, Liss, can I come over tonight?" I asked happily. God, I wanted to die.<p>

Lissa nodded eagerly. "Of course!" she exclaimed. I didn't get the chance to talk to her any longer because I had to go to class.

The day seemed to fly, and suddenly it was time for me to go to Lissa's. At the afternoon practice, I distanced myself, hoping to plant a seed of doubt in Dimitri's mind. By the end of practice, however, I got the distinct feeling that he figured it was just one of my moods. I sighed. He won't tomorrow.

I made my way to Lissa's room, already prepared for what I was going to say.

Once there, I hung out with her for a couple of hours, catching up with her. I wished I had more time before I had to say goodbye, but I knew Dimitri would keep her safe.

When the time came for me to meet Adrian, I looked at Lissa, feeling terrible for lying to her. "Hey, Liss, would you mind if I skipped out early? I was planning to meet with Adrian..." I trailed off, hoping she got the hint.

Her eyes lit up with happiness. "Oh, I'm so glad you're finally giving him a chance! Just make sure you're protected. Okay?" she said quickly, practically jumping with happiness. I simply nodded, feeling worse than ever.

I hurried over to my room. Just as I took off my shoes, Adrian knocked on the door. I opened it hurriedly, putting a smile on my face.

"Hey," I breathed. "I thought you wouldn't show up." _I hoped, anyway. _

Adrian grinned. "Nope. No way would I miss a chance with you, little dhampir." I waved him in, and he walked in, looking around. I sat on my bed, not knowing what to expect. He finally turned to me.

"Rose," he began. "I really, really like you, you know that, right?" I nodded, and he continued. "Well, I want this chance to be more than a casual fuck. I want to have an actual relationship with you." I swallowed, and nodded. "But could you at least stay with me tonight?" I asked, giving him puppy eyes. Adrian looked at me for a long moment, then nodded, stripping down to his boxers. I changed into a t-shirt and shorts, then both of us slid into bed. I knew that as soon as somebody saw Adrian slip out of room tomorrow morning, rumors would be everywhere; Dimitri was bound to hear. I knew he wouldn't believe them, at least not until he heard Lissa and christian talking about it. I would make sure it happened.

I fell asleep in another man's arms that night, thinking of ways to say goodbye to the love of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, nor do I own Call Me by Shinedown.

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><p><em>In the night, I hear them talk the coldest story ever told<br>Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul  
>To a woman so heartless<br>How could you be so heartless _

_- Heartless, Kanye West_

DPOV:

I was walking across the school in the morning when I heard the rumor about Rose. What was said didn't concern me, but it bothered me how easily they said horrible things about her. I hated how they spoke about her; she hadn't done half the things they said she did. And the worst part was, they knew. They knew and still they said shit. They were just jealous.

It appeared as if the rumor was that Rose and Adrian slept together last night. I knew for a fact that it wasn't true; she would never cheat on me.

She had texted me this morning saying she had a really bad headache and needed to sleep in, but when I offered to come to her room, she said she was with Lissa. I figured it was just that time of the month, and needed Lissa's company.

As I was walking, Lissa and Christian appeared in front of me.

"I'm so glad Rose finally gave Adrian a chance. They're going to me sooo cute together!" Lissa was gushing.

I felt a faint stirring of unease in the pit of my stomach. No, she would never do that to me. Maybe she just said that to Lissa to placate her. Yeah, that must be it.

"Are you sure that's good thing? I mean, Adrian is a player, she might get hurt." Christian said.

Lissa shook her head. "No, he's totally head over heels for Rose. I just hope they used protection last night. Rose doesn't need to get pregnant just yet."

My heart froze at her words. No. No, just no.

Christian screwed up his face in disgust. "Babe, I don't need to hear about her sex life."

That was the last straw for me. I turned around and walked toward the gym. I thought Rose was with Lissa. I frowned. Maybe Rose just told Lissa to go to breakfast without her, or maybe they were getting food for her. But by what Lissa said, Rose hadn't even been with Lissa last night, although I distinctly recall Rose letting me know she was going to be at Lissa's.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. _My Roza wouldn't cheat on me,_ I thought with confidence.

Throughout the day, I heard many variations of the Rose/Adrian rumor. The most prominent, though, was that they had definitely spent the night in her room. Dhampirs had seen him leaving her room this morning in the same clothes as last night, and they had seen them kiss goodbye.

I was sick to my stomach, hearing these things. And my conviction that the rumor was just that, a rumor, was slowly fading with horror and pain.

Finally, at the end of the day, I made my way to the gym for afternoon practice. I hadn't seen Rose at all today, and I was anxious to see her and find out what was going on.

I was a half hour early, and waited with baited breath for Rose to appear. Finally, I heard the gym door open, and Rose walked in.

She looked like a mess. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, her clothes were back and dirty, and her face was pale, dark circles around her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept at all last night. The uneasy feeling increased.

"Roza," I breathed, striding up to her. I cupped her face in my hands. "What happened? Did you hear the rumors? Don't let them get to you, sweetheart."

She avoided my eyes, and took a deep breath, pulling away. "Dimitri –" she began, finally meeting my eyes. Hers were filled with sorrow and guilt. "About that, I –"

I shook my head, understanding what she was going to say as soon as she looked at me. "Roza, no, tell me no, please!" I begged her.

She looked at me steadily, a sorry look on her face. "Dimitri, I – I'm sorry, it's just that..." she trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

I swallowed. "So you did ch – ch – cheat – cheated on -" I broke off, unable to say the words. She nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered, closing her eyes.

I felt like I was dying. My Roza, my beautiful, beautiful Roza, cheated on me. With another man. Another man touched what's mine. And she let him. My breathing picked up as my heart pounded painfully. No. No. No no no nononononononono! God, no. Please, no.

"Please," I choked out. "Please tell me you're kidding?" I looked at her, my mask just a dream in wake of my shattering heart.

She slowly shook her head. "No. I – I s – slept with A – Adrian."

I looked into her eyes, my heart breaking further when I saw the absolute truth. I turned away. I couldn't lose her. Not my Roza. Maybe it was a mistake. I turned abruptly.

"Was it a mistake?" I asked.

"I – what? Um, yes it was a mistake." she said, her voice trembling slightly. I could see she was holding back tears.

"Roza," I said softly, coming up to her again. "If it was a mistake, then it was a mistake. I love you. I'm not gonna leave you for a stupid mistake. I don't exactly forgive you for this, you cheated on me, but I'm _not _giving up on us. I'll give you a second chance," I said earnestly. Yes, she shattered my heart by cheating, but I knew it would hurt even worse to see her and not be able to love her. I didn't know if I could truly trust her as of yet, and it would probably take a while before I did, but I loved her too much to let her go.

She looked slightly panicked before the look disappeared. She pulled away again, shaking her head.

"No, just no. I can't, Dimitri. I cheated on you. Maybe you can trust me, but I can't. I realized I'm not...ready...to be so...committed to someone just yet. I'm truly a whore. I'm a terrible, horrible person that no one should love. So, just _t__ell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt. It's all that I can say." _she shrugged, not looking at me. She turned away, toward the door._ "So, I'll be on my way." _and she walked away from me.

I was stunned, frozen. My body took over. "No, Roza! You can't do this! Don't do this to us! I love you! Please!" I stumbled after her, but she simply glanced back once at the door.

"I – I'm sorry, comrade. I'm just not the one for you. Or maybe you're not the one for me," she looked at me with a soft look on her face. "Just let me go. I promise you'll never see me again so I can't hurt you. Don't hurt Adrian, please. It was my choice, not his. Yes, he helped make it, but I told him it was over between us. And it is. Now." with that, she walked out forever.

I broke down.

When I heard the rumor that Rose slept with Ivashkov, I ignored it, thinking it was just that, a rumor.

When I over heard the princess talking to Christian about it, and how happy she was that Rose finally gave Adrian a chance and how happy they would be, I felt unease stir within me.

But when I confronted rose about it, and she didn't deny it, something in me broke.

It was made worse when I forgave her but she denied my apology, saying she was too young, and wasn't ready for this, calling herself horrible things. It felt like the very essence of me was being unraveled.

But when she said she was leaving, I shattered. And, as she walked away, as she ignored my cries to stay, I, Dimitri Belikov, broke down for the first time.

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><p><em>AN: poor Dimitri! I felt so terrible doing this to him. But Rose would do anything to protect those she loves, and we all know she would break him, and herself, just to save everyone. Oh, and in case you didn't get how she could honestly say that she slept/cheated on Dimitri with Adrian, easy: she kissed Adrian (cheating) and they slept in the same bed (she slept with him). Hope you liked it. Next chapter: where Rose goes, how she is able to go, and how she felt breaking Dimitri. Fun! Thank you all for your reviews! _


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy.

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><p><em>I can't breathe without you, <em>

_but I have to, _

_breathe without you,_

_but I have to. _

_ -Breathe, Taylor Swift_

RPOV:

I walked quickly away from the gym, trying to keep from breaking down in sobs. The heartbreaking sound of Dimitri's cries almost did me in; it took everything in me, and the memory of Seneca's voice, to force me to keep going. I couldn't let anything happen to him, or anyone else. A little heartbreak would be worth their lives. _It's more than a little heartbreak. _A voice whispered in my mind. I grimaced trying to keep my own shattering heart together as I made my way to Alberta's office.

"Okay, Alberta, I'm ready." I said, walking into her office unannounced. All the guardians, including her, looked up at my entrance.

"Where's Dimitri?" Alberta asked, looking around as if he was going to pop out of nowhere.

I grimaced again, and tears pricked at my eyes. "He, uh, was unable to come," I said softly.

Her face lit up with understanding. "I understand," she said sympathetically.

I swallowed, ready to be over with this. I was going to officially graduate early. I had approached Alberta this morning when I was supposed to be laying down with a headache, and asked to graduate early, but no be given a charge just yet; I wanted to explore the world a bit, fight some Strigoi, be free for a while. She said, and had set up a temporary trial in the gym. Only guardians were there, the ones that weren't participating were observing. I passed with flying colors, with the highest score the academy had seen in a long time. Now I was getting my promise mark; I had asked to say goodbye to Dimitri and Alberta had let me, not knowing I was simply going to destroy Dimitri, making sure he never wanted to see me again.

I now sat in a chair, my haired pulled up, as Lionel tattooed my neck. I reveled in the pain from the tattoo gun, as it distracted me from my emotional pain, and kept me from breaking down. I could see Alberta giving me sympathetic looks every now and then, and knew they had nothing to do with the tattooing; somehow, she knew about Dimitri and I, and thought I was upset because I was leaving him, and he couldn't be here. How wrong she was. I gave a small sighed.

Finally, the tattooing was over, and Alberta presented me with my stake. I looked at it in awe. I was officially a guardian.

After that, things seemed to be put on fast-forward. Before I could blink, all of my stuff was packed, and I was standing in my empty room, looking at it for the last time. The only things that were left were several notes on my bed, addressed to Adrian, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Dimitri, explaining that I graduated early, and was out exploring the world; to not look for me; and that I loved them. In Dimitri's, I added an _I'm sorry, we weren't meant to be. Please try to move on. _I knew he would probably be stubborn, and try to hold on to me, but I hoped after a long time, he would let me go. The thought of Dimitri being with someone else almost broke the careful composure I had built since the gym, making it hard to breathe, so I pushed thoughts of it until later, where I could break down in peace. I gave my room one last look before I headed out to the car that was waiting for me to take me to the airport. The academy had given me a budget, so to speak, of about $10,000; I hoped by the time I ran out of that money, I was far away and had a job.

I was in the car and driving away, when I heard an agonizing yell that haunted my dreams, walking hours, for many years after ward, and make me breathless with pain.

_"Roooooooooozzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaa!"_

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><p><em>AN: okay, short chapter, a bit of a filler. Well, Rose left! Damn that Seneca for threatening her! poor Dimka, all heart broken. What do you guys think, should I make Rosie preggers with Dimka's child? Great way to keep the whole, I cheated on you story going! But then, Dimka's not stupid, is he? How long do you think he'll believe her lie? So, yay or nay on the child? BTW, I have a pole going for my story Never Too Late; if you're reading it check it out; it's what should the sex of Rose's baby be? Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! They make my day! (:_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does.

_Before you ask which way to go, remember where you've been_

_Stay awake, get a grip and get out_  
><em>You're safe from the weight of the world<em>  
><em>Just take a second to set things straight<em>  
><em>I'll be fine even though I'm not always right<em>  
><em>I can count on the sun to shine<em>  
><em>Dedication takes a lifetime<em>  
><em>But dreams only last for a night<em>  
><em>-Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last for a Night), All Time Low<em>

RPOV:

Three weeks later, I was stumbling across Russia, with no idea of where I was. The only thing I knew for sure is that Dimitri wouldn't even dream of looking for me here; that was the only positive.

The past week, I had woken up to throwing up. I didn't know what was happening, or what to do. I knew that throwing up was a classic sign of pregnancy, but that wasn't possible since the only man I have ever had sex with is Dimitri.

The past three weeks were spent killing any Strigoi that had the misfortune to cross my path. I'm sure the local Alchemist was getting really sick and tired of me.

Sydney Sage was here on an internship, and her first words to me were: "Can you please not make such a mess next time?" She was a good Alchemist and had patched me up a number of times. She was also keeping track of my kills, so that once I got back to the rest of the world, I could get tattooed.

I had been looking for Dimitri's hometown the entire time I was in Russia, but I wasn't having much luck; I couldn't remember the name. So, after three weeks of no luck, I decided to ask Sydney, hoping she would know.

That day at dusk, I put on my leather jacket, and tucked a knife into my black combat boots. Grabbing my stake, I shoved it into my jacket pocket, then, unearthing my spare, I put it in my other boot. I stretch out my muscles, making sure my blue jeans were flexible enough to be comfortable to fight in. Then, adjusting my black tank top, I set out to hunt.

I had the feeling that I should be doing this, but I couldn't just let my training go to waste. No after all the time and effort Dimitri put into it. Dimitri. Even thinking his name made my heart ache. God, how I missed him. His eyes, his voice, his hair, even his Zen lessons. I missed him so much, but if it meant that he, along with all of my other friends, was safe, I was happy.

As I walked down the street, I let my mind drift to the happy times, knowing my Strigoi alarm would alert me to any unwanted company. I remembered when we went on our first date. He had gotten me out of school under the pretenses of a 'real life' lesson, out in the 'real world' shortly after the attack. It was after we had finally healed and could do things. Instead of training, he took me out to a restaurant in Missoula. We ate and talked, just like any other couple. After dinner, he took me to see some movie. I didn't know what it was, because as soon as the lights went out, all I could focus on was Dimitri next to me, all I could smell was Dimitri, and all I could feel was his hand holding mine. Halfway through the opening credits, his arm ended up around my shoulders. Ten minutes into the movie, we were making out like a couple of horny teenagers, away from our parents for the first time. While most of it was true, I _was _a teenager, and we _were _away from the watchful eye of the Academy for the first time, I was surprised that Dimitri would allow such a public display of affection.

Halfway through the movie, when my hand had trailed down his side, to his hip, then to his thigh, which I had gripped to keep myself from jumping him, he let out a groan, then pulled me out of my seat, and we basically ran to our hotel room. It was the first time we made love since the night in the cabin. Dimitri had wanted to make sure both of us were healthy, and under the right circumstances, before repeating the act.

I sighed happily, remembering how he had looked at me with such love in his eyes. My happy thoughts were interrupted by a nauseous feeling. I sighed, and looked around, realizing I was just a few feet away from a dark alley. I sighed again. Looks like my night just started.

I stealthily walked towards in alley, angling so that I could slide along the wall. I paused, just out of sight, to listen to what was happening.

"Well, aren't you a pretty one," a cold voice said. I shuddered; yup, I was right, a Strigoi.

"Oh, come on Sergei, hurry up. I want to eat too, and I don't want to share," complained another voice, a woman's this time. Shit. Two.

"You can go," the first voice said coldly.

"Yeah, so you can go on a rampage, tearing the city apart when you can find her? Hardly," sneered a third voice. _Shit, shit, double shit. Three. _

"Help!" A girl's voice cried out with fear. I went rigid. I _knew _that voice.

I heard a smack, and a grunt of pain. The girl got hit. I let out a silent groan. _Why? Why the hell would you come out at night? Damn you Sydney!_ It _would _be my luck that my Alchemist would be the girl. I sighed. Here goes nothing.

I leaped into the alley, my stake out. The three Strigoi looked at me, startled, and before they could get their bearings, I stake the girl. This brought them to their senses.

The one holding Sydney let her go, causing her to slump to the ground. "Well, look at this." He inhaled sharply, closing his red rimmed blue eyes briefly. "A dhampir. My personal favorite." He sprang at me.

I wasn't expecting such a quick reaction, and barely had time to move out of the way. I kept half an eye on the other male, who had black curly hair, and looked to be a former Moroi. The rest of my attention was the blue eyes male, who was clearly a dhampir in his former life. The irony.

I crouched in a fighting stance as the dhampir Strigoi spun towards me and leaped again. This time, I used his momentum against him as I spun away, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the wall. His momentum caused him to slam into the wall, and I pounced on him before he could get up. I gave him a hard punch in the face, causing him to instinctively raise his hands. I was just about to stake him when I was pulled away by my neck. I let out a startled yelp. Dammit, I had forgotten about the second Strigoi. My hesitation allowed the dhampir Strigoi to get up. The Moroi Strigoi still had a grip on my neck, but it was surprisingly loose. I twisted around, grappling with him for a moment before finding an opening to his heart. I staked him quickly, and had barely gotten my stake out when the dhampir Strigoi attacked.

We exchanged blows for several minutes, but it was clear that when he was turned he was a young guardian, and didn't have as much skills as I did. I finally managed to find an opening to his heart, killing him. With his last breath, he looked at me and said, "Thank you." Then he fell to the ground, motionless.

I straightened up, breathing hard, the glanced at Sydney, running over to her. She was sitting on the ground, looking stunned. I waved a hand in front of her face.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

She hesitantly nodded. "Yeah, I – I'm fine." She stood up shakily, getting out her Strigoi disintegrating potions. She quickly did her thing, while I stood as a look out.

Once she was done, we began walking. I led her to my apartment. Once we were inside, I took a proper look at her. She had a bruise beginning to show on her cheek, the one with the lily tattoo.

I sighed. "Sydney, what the hell were you doing out at night? You should know better than that." I chastised.

Sydney nodded. "Yeah, but I had to do a clean, up and then they just attacked." She shuddered.

I ran a hand through my hair, but before I could say anything, I had to run to the bathroom to avoid barfing all over my floor. I leaned over the toilet, everything I had eaten in the past six hours coming up. Ick. It took me a moment, but I realized that someone was holding back my hair. Sydney.

"Rose," she said, concern evident in her voice. "This is like the fourth time in the last week I have seen you throw up. What's going on?"

I spit into the bowl one last time, then flushed. I went over to the sink, and rinsed out the taste in my mouth.

"I don't know," I replied. I hesitated. "I think – I think I might be pregnant, but I can't be. The only person I have ever slept with is a dhampir." I glanced at her. She had a look of intense concentration on her face.

"Go get a test," she commanded me. "Actually, better yet, tomorrow we're going to the doctor to get a blood test. That way there will be no ifs, ands, or buts about whether or not you're pregnant."

I sighed. I knew there was nothing I could do about it once Sydney got into this mood, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to know what was going on with me.

"Alright," I agreed. Sydney looked at me with shock.

"Alright? Just like that? I expected you to put up a fight," she said.

I shrugged. "I want to find out what's going on too." I yawned. "you can stay over if you want. Actually, I'm not giving you a choice. I don't want you out there again at night."

She nodded, defeated. "Okay."

"You can take the bed, I'll take the couch," I said, walking out of the bathroom.

"No, if you're pregnant, you should take the bed. Actually, you should take the bed anyway, since you save my life out there today."

I frowned, but suddenly I was too tired to argue. Fighting those Strigoi had taken a lot out of me. The fact that I barely slept last night probably helped too, not to mention the throwing up. I sighed.

"Alright, you win. But just this once, don't think you'll be making a habit of it," I warned.

Sydney grinned. "Get to bed. I'll set up the appointment."

I walked to my bedroom, grumbling. I settled in for the night. Tomorrow I would find out what was wrong. Tomorrow I would find out if I was indeed pregnant with the love of my life's baby.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I was going to make this longer, but meh. More soon, I promise. I have up to Chapter 8 all planned out, so...yeah(: Thank you to all reviewed, sorry it's been so long. _

_ Check out the other story I co-wrote with ChelseaJayBayBeh: www . fanfiction _ s/8228125/1/Im_Only_Me_When_Im_With_You


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does. So sorry for the short chapter! I'm sure you all waited this long for an amazingly long chapter but...sorry :(**

_So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard_

_Every lesson forms a new scar_

_They never thought you'd make it this far_

_But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you_

_It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now_

_But you've got something they don't_

_Yeah you've got something they don't_

_You've just gotta keep your eyes open_

_- Eyes Open, Taylor Swift_

* * *

><p><strong><strong>RPOV:

I sat nervously in an uncomfortable wooden chair in the waiting room of the small hospital, waiting for my name to be called. Sydney sat next to me, the picture of calm and serenity. Something told me that her patience was wearing thin, though, with my constant nervous chatter, pacing, and overall movement. A nurse came out and I held my breath as she opened her mouth.

"Sofia Cavanaugh?" She looked around for the person and I let out my breath. As she walked away, my knee started jumping up and down. After about a minutes of this, Sydney put her hand firmly on my leg, causing it to stop.

"Calm down, Rose," Sydney said sternly. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" I exclaimed, my voice high pitched. "There's everything to worry -"

"Rose Hathaway?" The nurse's voice cut me off.

I felt my eyes widen and my breathing speed up. _Oh, God, I wasn't ready for this! I wasn't ready for this at all!_

Sydney grabbed my arm and hauled me up. "Come on, Rose, let's go."

We followed the nurse to a room, me having a mini freak out the entire time. She took my weight and height, then told me to sit on the bed, before walking out, saying, "The doctor will be with you shortly."

As soon as the door closed, I started to hyperventilate. "Oh, God, this can't be happening. I'm not really, am I? No, it's not possible!"

"Hey, sh, calmed down, sh," Sydney grabbed my hand and began rubbing soothing circles on top of it. "Deep breathes, you don't want to pass out."

I nodded, trying to take deep breathes. _I can do this_. I thought to myself._ I can do this._

The door opened, and a human doctor stepped through. My breathing picked up again._ Oh, no._

"Hello, Miss Hathaway, I'm Dr. Shvaev," the doctor said in a thick Russian accent, looking at me. I gave him a slight nod, unable to open my mouth for fear of puking everywhere. "You are here for a blood test?"

"Yes," Sydney answered for me. "To see if she is pregnant."

Dr. Shvaev nodded. "I see. Okay, then, hold out your arm." Shakily, I held out my arm. Dr. Shvaev rubbed down the spot where he was going to take my blood. _Needles. I hate needles._

"This will be just a prick." He jabbed the needle into my arm, causing me to hiss. He took the blood he needed, then cleaned up the spot and put a band-aid on it. "There you go, all done. I will received the results in about a couple days' time and call you to let you know the verdict." I nodded slightly.

"Thank you, Dr. Shvaev," Sydney said politely, helping me off the bed. She led me out of the room, and the hospital, to the car. We made it safely back to the hotel, and from there it was simply a waiting game.

* * *

><p>Two days later, I was woken up by a phone call. I leaped out of bed, grabbing my phone.<p>

"Hello?" I answered, breathless.

"Hello, Rose Hathaway?" Dr. Shvaev said on the other end.

"Yes, this is her," I replied, my heart pounding.

"I got your test results back; congratulations, you are indeed pregnant. About six weeks, I would say. I would like you to come for a check and ultrasound. I have a free spot at 1 pm. Would that be alright?" He asked.

I was stunned. What?! Did he just say I was pregnant?! "W-what?" I stuttered out breathlessly.

"You are pregnant, Miss Hathaway," Dr. Shvaev repeated slowly.

I stared at the wall opposite me blankly_. Pregnant_. The word echo oddly in my mind. I was pregnant at eighteen, I had left the father of my child, I was endanger everyone around me, including said child, and I was in a country whose language I had little to no inkling of. I was screwed.

* * *

><p>After breaking the news to Sydney, she had insisted on taking me to the doctor. The whole visit was a blur. One minute I was in the kitchen, the next minute I was getting out of the car. I had no idea what the doctor had said. All I knew was that Sydney had given me a bottle of vitamins and told me to take them daily, then sent me back to bed.<p>

I lay in bed, staring blankly at the wall. What was I supposed to do now? How was this even possible? Should I keep it? _Of course!_ The last question was answered instantly. Even though I had no idea how this happened, nor was I at all ready for a child, I wanted to keep it. It was a piece of Dimitri, a piece neither of us thought was possible. But I had no idea whatsoever about how to take care of a child, and I had the odd feeling neither did Sydney.

All of a sudden, I recalled my plan to go find the Belikovs with Sydney's help. I sat up abruptly. Of course his mother would know how to take care of a child! And if my baby was raised among his family, then he or she would definitely loved, and wouldn't have to suffer the way I did. The baby would also be able to learn of his heritage on both sides, even without Dimitri. I hadn't totally given up hope on us; maybe someday, when the threat was gone and Dimitri had forgiven me, we could be a family again, plus one of course. I knew it was most likely wishful thinking, but that wishful thinking had gotten me through my worst nights. It was that hope that pulled me out when I finally broke down.

_I had held off in the car ride to Missoula, on the plane ride to New York, on the drive to the airport, and on the flight to Russia by planning my next move, thinking of the future. It wasn't until I had collapsed, exhausted from traveling, in my hotel bed. I had instantly fallen asleep, but my dreams were filled with the sound of Dimitri, his broken hearted voice pleading with me to stay with him, to not give up. I had finally woken up as his last cry of my name tore through my memory. _

_The tears that had followed my emergence into the waking world could have drowned all of Russia. I had been hysterical, to the point that I threw up on the floor from crying so hard. I had screamed and yelled and threw things, clawed at the neck of my shirt - his shirt - trying to get enough air, but nothing could stop the pain. I reached a point where everything became void of feeling. I became numb. I had no more tears to cry. I almost considered going back and begging for forgiveness, consequences be damned, but then imagined Dimitri's cried to be those of physical pain as Seneca tortured him, and had to stop myself from becoming hysterical again._

_As I sat on the floor, my back leaning on the bed, my mind had wandered, remembering Dimitri, all that was good and bright and amazing about him, and our relationship, and came to the conclusion that something so perfect couldn't end because of a few threats. So I decided that somehow, someway, I would find a way around this._

I got out of bed and walked determinedly out of my room to look for Sydney, only to find a note on the kitchen table: _I got called out on a clean up. I'll be back later. Don't do anything stupid. Sydney._

I sighed. Finding the Belikovs would have to wait until Sydney came back, I decided, settling down on the couch.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: OMG, I am so, so, so, so sorry for the long wait. I got grounded, which pushed everything back a month, and I wanted this chapter to be longer, but...well, it seemed like the ideal place to stop. I'll do my best to get another chapter to you before long, but with school and being distracted by another story...well, I'll do my best(: Readers of Never Too Late...I am so sorry once more, but don't expect a chapter until...Thanksgiving? Maybe I'll write a nice long one just for you, to thank you! Thank you to all of my reviewers!_**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does.

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by_

_'Cause you know I'd walk_

_A thousand miles_

_If I could just see you_

_Tonight_

_It's always times like these_

_When I think of you_

_And I wonder_

_If you ever think of me_

_'Cause everything's so wrong_

_And I don't belong_

_Living in your_

_Precious memories_

_'Cause I need you_

_And I miss you_

_-Vanessa Carlton_

RPOV:

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed.

"It's the only way, Rose. Besides, you know you'll just get lost if you go by yourself," Sydney reasoned.

I scowled. "That doesn't mean you have to come. I made it this far without you. You don't have to come to the town with me," I snapped.

"Well, it's not my choice nor is it yours. Either I help you, or you don't go at all," Sydney said with finality.

We had been going at it for about a half an hour now. When I had brought up going to Dimitri's home town in the middle of dinner, Sydney had called some of her superiors, after ten minutes of thinking and had been ordered, supposedly, to take me there. Not give me directions, or the name, but to physically take me there. I had pitched a fit, demanding that she tell me the name and I would go there by myself. Sydney, in turn, had pointed out that it was her orders, which brought us to now.

"Well, why don't you simply disobey? I do it all the time!" I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms.

"Rose, I'm not you, and it's not that easy," Sydney said wearily. "Just humor me, okay? At least if we run into any Strigoi, I'll be there to clean up." She sighed. "Besides, you have two people to take care of now; I'll be there to make sure you do, and don't get hurt."

I stayed silent. I had forgotten for a moment the reason I needed to go to the Belikovs. _Some mother you are,_ a little voice hissed. I looked down, feeling ashamed.

"Okay," I said in a small voice. Maybe she needed to come with me just to make sure my baby stayed alive.

Suddenly, the full implications of being pregnant hit me. I couldn't guard Lissa after a year; my baby would still be dependant on me. And Dimitri...how was I supposed to keep this secret from him?!

I clenched my teeth, trying not to cry. My baby would never know their father. _Yes he will_, I thought determinedly. In that moment, I vowed to never put my child through the same pain my own mother put me through; I would not leave them at an Academy, and he or she would most definitely know their father, even if it's the last thing I do.

"Are you okay?" I jumped, startled at Sydney's voice.

"I - yeah. Fine. Set up a schedule or whatever. We'll leave tomorrow, okay?" I stood up and walked out of the room without another word.

* * *

><p>Two days later, I was on a train, traveling halfway across Russia.<p>

I sat on one of the beds, my head leaning on the window. Sydney lay opposite me, reading a book on architecture. I watched as Russia passed by in a blur of colors. I had often teased Dimitri about it being an Arctic wasteland, but spring in Russia was gorgeous, putting Montana to shame. Trees blooming and birds filling the sky combined with the beautiful Russian architecture made the whole country seem like something out of a fairytale. It made my heart ache as I imagined what Dimitri would say.

A memory of Dimitri asking if I would like to meet his family rose in my mind.

_It was about a month after the attack, the beginning of April. Dimitri lounged on my bed as I worked on an Animal Behavior project._

_"Roza?" he suddenly said. "Are you doing anything for Easter this year?"_

_I looked at him from my desk in surprise. "No, not that I know of, why?"_

_His eyes were bright with happiness, something that had become amazingly common ever since both of us survived the attack and subsequent rescue mission. "Would you like to meet my family?"_

_I stared at him in shock. "You want me to meet your family?" I gave a nervous chuckle. "Are you sure about that Comrade? What will they think of me? I mean, my friends don't even know we're together; hell, we're not supposed to be together. You're seven years older and my teacher. What if they don't like me? What if-" My rambling was cut off by Dimitri's lips._

_I was just starting to lose myself in the kiss when Dimitri pulled away. I looked up at him, dazed._

_"Roza, they will love you," he murmured, kissing me chastely. "Not only for who you are, but also because I love you."_

_I wasn't totally convince, but decided to go along with it. "When will we be going?" I asked._

_"Well, St. Basil's has their Easter vacation a week before St. Vladimir's. I was thinking we could go during St. Basil's and stay there until the end of St. Vlad's. That way we get to see my little sister and it seems plausible for you to come with me," he explained, smiling._

_"So...why am I going with you on your vacation?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck. Dimitri knelt on his knees by my desk, but with his freakish height, his head was almost level with mine. _

_"Because I will be gone for two weeks, and two weeks is a lot to take away from you education, and I also want to show you how to handle yourself in an unfamiliar territory and how to blend in," he promptly replied._

_I laughed. "You're a genius!" I tightened my arms, pulling him closer. Our lips met in a sweet kiss, which quickly picked up intensity._

_"I can't wait to meet the people who made you," I whispered against his lips._

_He smiled gloriously. "I can't wait for you to meet them either."_

_Our kissed began again, and he took me to bed._

* * *

><p>Sadly, a week after that conversation, I had to leave Dimitri broken hearted at the Academy. I sighed.<p>

Suddenly, I realized that it was St. Basil's Easter vacation. Panicking slightly, I opened up the bond, something I did only once a week, and only briefly to double check that Lissa was alive. I_ had_ to know if Dimitri was going to his family's house as planned; if he was, I couldn't be there.

I took several deep breaths before going into Lissa's head. The last time I went into her head for longer than five minutes was when she discovered my letter of _goodbye and I'll see you in a year or so._ It hadn't been pretty.

Once I was sure that I was prepared to go into her head - or as prepared as I could be - I dove in.

To my utter surprise, Lissa was sitting across Dimitri in what appeared to be Christian's room.

To add even more to my surprise, they were talking about Dimitri's trip to Russia - or lack thereof.

"Guardian Belikov, I don't understand. Rose was excited for this trip, and I could see you were too. You want to see your family. I understand that you are no longer going with a friend, but that shouldn't change things." Lissa was very confused. She didn't understand why Dimitri was giving up this perfect opportunity to see his family while she was in the safety of the Academy, a place she would be leaving in a few short months.

But looking through her eyes, I could see what she was too blind to see.

Dimitri was in agony. This was supposed to be a trip we took together, and he couldn't face it without me. Sure, he wanted to see his family, but if I knew him as well as I did, he couldn't go there only to be miserable, thinking of me, and not being able to show me to them. The haunted and sad look in his eyes tore at my already shattered heart.

"I believe since Rose is not here to make sure you are alright, I cannot take the risk. I owe it to her to make sure you are alive and safe until she can take back her position of your guardian." His voice was so even, so control, unless you knew him you would never hear the underlying current of sorrow and sadness.

I felt Lissa's pain at the reminder that I wasn't there.

"I don't understand why she left," Lissa whispered.

"Because she wanted to see more of the world, gain more experience," Christian, who lay sprawled on her bed behind her, said.

She glanced back at him, puzzled. I could tell they hadn't really talked about the why in my leaving, just the fact that I did, and how it affected Lissa. She felt guilty, suddenly, realizing she hadn't even tried to understand my reasoning, only moaning and groaning that I wasn't there for her to help her decide which top she should wear.

"What do you mean?" she asked Christian.

Christian sighed. "Her whole life, what she was going to be - your guardian - was pretty much set in stone. And after the whole deal with Adrian, I think she realized how little she lived and knew. I mean, she's always been your guardian first, her own person second. She wanted to see things, live things, separate from you. She's probably looking for some guardian to teach her more."

Lissa was astonished, as was I. I had no idea where he had come up with this. Yes, it was mostly true, but I had no idea he understood me so well.

"You know, nothing happened."

I froze at the voice, horrified. _No! No, no, no, no!_ Dammit Adrian! My shock and horror was so great, I was pulled back into my own body. Quickly, I dove back into Lissa's mind; she was just as surprised.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Shit. I hadn't even realized Adrian was in the room. I realized then how tense Dimitri was and it hit me why. Adrian.

He sighed. "I don't know. I don't know what happened. She came to me, kissed me, said that she and -" he cut himself off, his eyes flashing to Dimitri, then back to Lissa in a moment Lissa didn't understand. "She said she'd give me a chance, kissed me and hinted at more, but I said we should wait, go out. I know now that she was lying." He sighed again, looking upset.

I winced mentally. I had been so focused on keeping everyone safe and getting out of there, I hadn't figured in his feelings.

Lissa was still confused. "Why would she do that?"

Christian looked at her, smirking. "Did you miss my whole speech?"

Lissa shook her head. "No, I meant, why would she lie about Adrian?"

Christian shrugged. "Maybe she wanted to try something new and it didn't work out."

"Yeah, but she lied to me. Let me think she was going for Adrian. And Adrian said she was lying. Why?" She frowned, trying to puzzle it out. She looked over at Dimitri and Adrian, and was astounded by what she saw.

They were staring at each other, but that wasn't what shocked her. Dimitri was showing emotion.

He was looking at Adrian, stunned and confused, but also hopeful.

Flashing through her memories, I realized every time Dimitri and Adrian were in the same room, there was obvious tension, and from the little aura she could see, Dimitri hated Adrian. Now he was looking at Adrian as if he was a lifeline.

They stared at each other intensely.

"I'm sorry," Adrian suddenly said quietly. "I didn't realize she was lying. If I had known she was..." he trailed off.

"So..." Dimitri seemed to be struggling. His face was torn. I knew he was trying to match my actions and words to what Adrian just told him.

"She was really upset when she left. Whatever she said, she was lying," Adrian continued, looking at Dimitri as if trying to make him read his mind.

"But why?" Dimitri's voice was almost begging as if he was pleading Adrian for answers.

Adrian shrugged. "Would she...where would she go?" He looked at Dimitri meaningfully.

Dimitri thought for a moment. "She had her reasons. She'll come back when she does," he finally said, in a tone that closed the subject.

Lissa was completely lost. _How did Guardian Belikov come to that conclusion? Didn't he want to know where Rose was?_

Dimitri seemed to read Lissa's mind. "I know you probably want to look for her, Princess, but you should let her be. She's graduated, and out on her own. I know Rose, and if she doesn't want to be found, you won't find her, even if you search forever."

I could practically hear him say in his mind_ But I could._

I had a feeling he knew I was probably in Russia, possibly visiting his family, due to what Adrian said. I knew the only reason why he didn't leave and track me down was because he didn't understand why I left and he wanted me to figure things out on my own.

Lissa looked at Christian. He was staring at Dimitri with a calculating look on his face. She puzzled over that for a moment before going back to the matter at hand.

After listening to Lissa think for a few minutes and decide to let me be until it was time for me to come back, and if I didn't she was going to look for me, I left her mind to think with my own.

Dimitri knew I had lied. I think that hurt him more than if I had been telling the truth. He would probably try to figure out what I was thinking. I just hoped he would leave me alone and let me figure this out.

I didn't know how long I had been in Lissa's head and lost in my own thoughts until I looked out the window to see nothing but black, with random light flashing by. Sydney had turned the light on in our compartment, and was still reading her book.

She looked up at me when I sat up. "Hungry?"

I nodded. "Yeah, starving."

She stood up. "Stay here. Don't move."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Mommy," I said with feigned innocence.

Sydney rolled her eyes, and slid open the door, walking out.

She came back a few minutes later and knocked on the door. I opened it and she walked in with two plates of food, one heaped to the top and almost overflowing, while the other held a salad.

I shook my head at her choice of food and dug into mine. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was delicious.

Once I was finished, I leaned back against the metal wall, utterly satisfied.

Sydney looked at me with amusement. "Did you take your pills today?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, earlier. Don't worry, I'm taking care of myself," I assured her.

She looked at me skeptically. "Sure you are..." she muttered. "What was up with earlier? You were blanked out. I was concerned."

"Oh. That. I was with Lissa. Long story. We have a bond and it's one of things I can do," I explained.

Sydney looked like she wanted to ask more, but refrained herself.

"You should get some sleep," she said instead.

I nodded. Having to constantly have my ghost blocks up was mentally exhausting.

Suddenly, I wondered how far along I was. I could vaguely recall the doctor telling me, but at the time I had been in shock, and couldn't remember a single word past 'You're pregnant.'

"Sydney, how far along am I?" I asked, looking at her with curiosity.

"Didn't you hear the doctor tell you?"

I shrugged. "I don't remember," I replied.

She sighed with exasperation. "You're about 6 weeks along," she said.

I ruminated on that as I lay in bed. That meant that I probably got pregnant sometime after my birthday. I thought about it hard, counting back the days. I had been gone for about three weeks, and having left at the end of the first week in April, that meant Dimitri got me pregnant the week after my birthday. It wasn't surprising to me; when he had taken me out on our first date, it was actually my birthday, which was partly why he had been allowed to take me out of the Academy for the 'training session.' Once we had made it to the hotel room, we hadn't seen the light of day until the next night. After that, we had gone on several dates, at least once a week, sometimes outside of the Academy, sometimes in the cabin, or a picnic by the lake. We had never spent a night apart unless he had a night shift, either.

I sighed happily as all of these lovely memories replayed in my mind, lulling me to sleep.

* * *

><p>I awoke to the train screeching to a halt. Sitting up, I realized Sydney had packed everything, and was ready to walk out the door. I threw the covers off, and stood up, stretching.<p>

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked through a yawn.

"I didn't want to be hit," she said drily.

I rolled my eyes. "That was one time!" I protested.

"One time enough," she retorted. "Now come on before we're late."

I grabbed my bag and followed her out the door. For a second, I wondered if I should make the bed, but shrugged and walked out, shutting the door behind me.

Sydney lead me though the train station to a rental car, or at least I assumed it was.

We put our luggage in the trunk of the car, then Sydney got into the driver's seat. We had argued about who was driving on the train, Sydney finally winning when she pointed out that I had no idea where I was going and couldn't read Russian.

We drove for several hours, until the sun had set. By that time, we had arrived at a small house, where we would stay the night due to the fact the road was too dangerous to drive at night. Though Strigoi rarely ventured into the village itself, which I'd finally learned was called Baia, they prowled the road to it at night.

I was tired from a long day of traveling, so when I was shown my room, I almost immediately collapsed in bed.

Later that night, I was woken up by a nauseous feeling. At first, my sleepy mind thought it was morning sickness and hoped it would go away. But as it stayed, unchanging, slowly I realized it was not morning sickness, but Strigoi. As soon as I realized that, _[I bolted upright, every part of me awake and alert. There were no city lights to shine through the window, and it took me several seconds to make out anything in the darkened room. Sydney was curled up in her own bed, her face unusually at peace as she slept._

_Where was the Strigoi? Definitely not in our room. Was it in the house? Everyone had said the road to Dimitri's town was dangerous. Still, I would have thought Strigoi would be going after Moroi and dhampirs—though humans were a big part of their_

_diet too. Thinking of the nice couple who'd welcomed us into their home, I felt something tight clench in my chest. No way would I let anything happen to them._

_Slipping quietly out of the bed, I grabbed a hold of my stake and crept from the room without disturbing Sydney. No one else was awake, and as soon as I was in the living room, the nausea went away. Okay. The Strigoi wasn't inside, which was a good thing. It was outdoors, apparently on the side of the house near my room. Still moving silently, I went out the house's front door and walked around the corner, as quiet as the night around me._

_The nausea grew stronger as I approached the barn, and I couldn't help but feel smug. I was going to surprise this Strigoi who'd thought it could sneak into a tiny human village for dinner. There. Right near the barn's entrance, I could see a long shadow moving. Gotcha, I thought. I readied the stake and started to spring forward—_

_—And then something struck me on the shoulder._

_I stumbled, astonished, and looked into the face of a Strigoi. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shadow by the barn materialize into another Strigoi striding forward. Panic shot through me. There were two, and my secret detection system hadn't been able to tell the difference. Worse, they'd gotten the drop on me._

_It was a woman. I had yet to get a feel for the second one. That one was approaching from my other side, moving fast. I had to deal with this immediate threat, though, and swiped at the woman with my stake, hoping to wound her, but she dodged so quickly, I hardly saw her move. She struck out toward me in an almost casual way. I wasn't fast enough to react and went flying toward the other Strigoi—a guy._

_I responded quickly, leaping up and kicking him. I held the stake out, creating distance between us, but it did little good when the woman came up from behind and grabbed me, jerking my body against hers. I gave a muffled cry and felt her hands on my throat. She was probably going to break my neck, I realized. It was a fast, easy technique for Strigoi that then let them drag off a victim for feeding._

_I struggled, jostling her hands slightly, but as the other Strigoi leaned over us, I knew it was useless. They'd surprised me. There were two of them. They were strong._

_Panic surged in me again, an overwhelming sense of fear and desperation. I was afraid every time I fought Strigoi, but this fear was reaching a breaking point. It was unfocused and out of control, and I suspected it was touched by a bit of the madness and darkness I'd absorbed from Lissa._

_The feelings exploded within me, and I wondered if they'd destroy me before the Strigoi did. I was in very real danger of dying here—of letting Sydney and the others get killed. The rage and distress of that thought were smothering._

_Then, suddenly, it was like the earth burst open. Translucent forms, glowing softly in the darkness, sprang up everywhere. Some looked like normal people. Others were horrible, their faces gaunt and skull-like. Ghosts. Spirits. They surrounded us, their presence making my hair stand on end and sending a splitting headache through my skull._

_The ghosts turned toward me. I'd had this happen before, on a plane, when apparitions had swarmed and threatened to consume me. I braced myself, trying desperately to summon up the strength to build barriers that would shut me off from the spirit world. It was a skill I'd had to learn, one I usually kept in place without any effort. The desperation and panic of this situation had cracked my control. In that horrible, blood-curdling moment, I again selfishly wished Mason hadn't found peace and left this world. I would have felt better if his ghost were here._

_Then I realized I wasn't their target._

_The ghosts were mobbing the two Strigoi. The spirits didn't have solid forms, but every place they touched and passed through me felt like ice. The female Strigoi immediately began waving her arms to fend the apparitions off, snarling in rage and something almost like fear. The ghosts didn't appear to be able to hurt the Strigoi, but they were apparently pretty annoying—and distracting._

_I staked the male Strigoi before he ever saw me coming. Immediately, the ghosts around him moved to the woman. She was good, I'd give her that. Despite struggling to fend the spirits off, she was still able to dodge my attacks fairly well. A lucky punch from her made stars burst before my eyes and sent me into the barn wall. I still had that ghost-induced splitting headache, and my head slamming into the barn didn't help. Staggering up, dizzy, I made my way back to her and continued my efforts to get a shot in at her heart. She managed to keep her chest out of my range—at least until one particularly terrifying ghost caught her off guard. Her momentary distraction gave me my chance, and I staked her, too. She fell to the ground—leaving me alone with the spirits._

_With the Strigoi, the ghosts had clearly wanted to attack them. With me, it was a lot like on the plane. They seemed fascinated by me, desperate to get my attention. Only, with dozens of phantoms swarming, it might as well have been an attack._

_Desperately, I tried again to summon my walls, to block the ghosts off from me as I'd done long ago. The effort was excruciating. Somehow, my out-of-control emotions had brought the spirits, and while I was calmer now, that control was harder to bring about. My head continued throbbing._

_Gritting my teeth, I focused every ounce of my strength into blocking out the ghosts._

_"Go away," I hissed. "I don't need you anymore."_

_For a moment, it looked like my efforts were going to be useless. Then, slowly, one by one, the spirits began to fade. I felt the control I'd learned before gradually slip into place. Soon, there was nothing there but me, the darkness, and the barn—and Sydney._

_I noticed her just as I collapsed to the ground. She was running out of the house in her pajamas, face pale. Kneeling at my side, she helped me sit up, legitimate fear all over her. "Rose! Are you okay?"_

_I felt like every scrap of energy in my brain and body had been sucked out. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. "No," I told her._

_And then I passed out.]_ (Expert from Blood Promise by Richelle Mead)

* * *

><p>I was laying on a cloud with sun shining on me. I felt a smile creep on my face as I reveled in the warmth and comfort. I never wanted to move.<p>

Something was bothering me, though. A nagging thought started in the back of my mind, and snowballed its way to the front. My eyes snapped open and I sat up abruptly.

"Woah! Calm down," a soft, motherly voice told me.

I remembered Sydney and the Strigoi. Frantically, I looked for the source of the voice.

A middle-aged woman sat in a chair by the bed - not cloud - I was in. I could see sun shining through a window and illuminating her face, making her familiar brown hair look intertwined with gold, and her eyes glow.

"Where's Sydney? Is she okay?" I asked, glancing around, taking in my surroundings.

The room I was in looked worn, but well loved. The walls were a faded blue, the carpet slightly threadbare and light brown. The bed was against the far wall with a window above it. On further inspection, the room looked little used, as if no one had lived there for at least a couple of years. There was dust on the dresser on the table opposite the bed. The air seemed slightly stale as well.

"The Alchemist?" The woman asked. "She is fine. She's actually downstairs. Would you like me to go get her?" A thick Russian accent coated her words, but it wasn't difficult for me to understand. Dimitri had let his accent become more pronounced when we were alone so I was used to it. Dimitri. The name made a lump manifest in my throat, and the remembrance in of my child in my mind.

"My baby!" I cried out, feeling guilty. "Is it okay?" I looked at the woman pleadingly, hoping she would say yes.

She smiled. "Your child is perfectly fine," she replied. I must have looked doubtful because she hastened to reassure me. "My mother sent for a couple she knew who could...heal." She was hesitant saying the last bit, as if she was telling a secret.

I was astonished. "You know a spirit user?" I asked her.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You know what spirit is?"

I nodded. "I have two friends who are spirit users," I replied.

She looked, if possible, even more shocked. "You must talk to Oksana," she said. "They have often wondered about spirit."

I nodded, feeling curious. "Could she see auras? Is that how you knew it's alive, even after I was healed?"

The woman nodded.

I sighed with relief, then realized I had no idea who she was, or where I was. I looked at her curiously, trying to find a non rude way to ask who she was. After all, she had welcomed me into her home and put up with my questions.

She must have understood my unspoken question because she said, "I'm Olena Belikova. Sydney told me you were Rose?"

For a second, the breath was knocked out of me.

"B-Belikova?" I stuttered out. "Like Belikov?"

"Yes? That is the male version," she said, confused.

I couldn't believe it. After all the searching and arguments with Sydney, I finally found them.

"You're Dimitri's mom," I breathed.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Woow! That's a long one! The longest chapter of the whole story :P Worth the wait, I hope(: What do you guys think? Will Rose tell them the baby is their grandchild/niece/great-grandchild/cousin? Will Yeva? Will Rose tell them about running away to save everyone? Will she try to see if the threat against her family and friends is real? How? Ooh, do tell me! Thank you for your reviews! Xoxoxoxo. You're the best!_**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does.

_Your little hands wrapped around my finger_

_and it's so quiet in the world tonight_

_Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming so I_

_tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light_

_to you, everything is funny,_

_you got nothing to regret,_

_I'd give all I had honey, if you could stay like that,_

_oh, darling don't you ever grow up,_

_don't you ever grow up,_

_just stay this little,_

_oh, darling don't you ever grow up,_

_don't you ever grow up,_

_it could stay this simple._

_-Never Grow Up, Taylor Swift_

After my realization that I was in the Belikov's house, I asked Olena (his mother!) if she could send up Sydney.

Olena had advised me, amid her confusion, to not move around too much, as Oksana had only healed me enough to ensure my baby was alright.

I agreed, only for the safety of my child. I needed to know what Sydney had told them; clearly my name and the fact that I was pregnant.

Just as I was growing impatient, the door opened to reveal Sydney, and with her, a giant bowl of soup.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi." She shut the door with her foot.

"Is that for me?" I asked hopefully. The soup smelled surprisingly good.

Sydney nodded, handing the bowl to me carefully.

"Be careful, it's hot," she cautioned.

I nodded, the spoon, hot from being the soup, already halfway to my mouth.

"Olena wanted you to eat at the table, but figured it would be safer in here," Sydney continued, sitting down in the chair by the bed.

"What did you tell them," I asked through mouthfuls.

"I just told them that your name was Rose and that you were pregnant," Sydney replied.

I sighed. So she didn't tell them everything, or anything really. I wasn't surprised in the least; it's not like she knew anything.

I looked down at the now empty bowl sadly. I was still kind of hungry.

"Olena is cooking dinner right now." I could hear the amusement in Sydney's voice.

I couldn't help but smile. Even though she had only spent a few days with me, she knew that I ate a lot.

We sat in silence for a moment, until Sydney broke it.

"Why would you do that?"

I sighed, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Because I am a guardian, and keeping people safe is above everything, even my own life. It didn't matter whether they were human, Moroi, or dhampir; there was Strigoi prowling, planning on taking their lives, so I had to get rid of the threat, even at the risk of my own life." I sighed again, rubbing my face tiredly. "It was the way I was raised. _They come first. _The mantra every guardian has embedded in their head from the time they are born."

Sydney shook her head. "Your child should come first. Not anyone else."

I shook my head, too. "Sydney. I'm not used to this. Sure, I'm getting more used to it the longer I know, and I'm starting to think of it as my Moroi, but it's like you. You were raised believing all vampires, whether they are Moroi, Strigoi, or dhampir, are evil creatures of the night and to protect humans from us no matter the cost. I was raised believing that Moroi life is the most important and valued existence in the world, and to protect them no matter the cost. You and I, we're really not all that different."

Sydney looked stunned. I was, admittedly, quite surprised myself.

"I-I never thought of it that way," Sydney finally said softly.

I nodded. There was a soft knock on the door, then it opened slowly. Olena peaked her head in.

"Dinner is done; would you like me to help you downstairs?" she asked.

I hesitated, doing a mental check of my body before shaking my head. I would be okay walking downstairs.  
>Olena nodded, looking unconvinced.<p>

"I'll be fine," I assured her. Carefully, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, standing up cautiously. I tested my strength, taking a couple steps from the bed. Once I was sure I wouldn't topple over, I walked with more confidence to the door. Sydney walked right next to me, as if to make sure I didn't hurt myself.

Once I got downstairs, I was met with several curious faces. They all looked so much like Dimitri that it made my heart ache.

"Hi," I said somewhat shyly. I hoped they liked me. For a second, I was thankful that Dimitri had decided that the visit would be a surprised and didn't tell them. I wondered if he had talked to them recently, then remembered that was part of the reason why he didn't tell them we were coming; he was nervous about their reaction and wanted to see them in real life, since he hadn't really talked to them since Ivan had died.

"Hi," replied one of the girls. She was gorgeous, her brown Belikov eyes shining and her brown hair filled with golden brown streaks. She appeared to be the youngest one, Viktoria. Dimitri had told me a lot about her. They were the closest, I remembered. "I'm Viktoria."

"I know," I said automatically, then wincing, kicking myself mentally for the slip-up.

Viktoria looked at me, puzzled. "You do? How?"

I swallowed thickly. No, I couldn't do this right now. "Um." I blinked a couple times, Dimitri's face popping in my head, the look on his face as I broke his heart making me want to cry. I took several deep breaths, calming myself.

Just then, another girl came in, holding what looked like the mail.

"Is there a Rose Hathaway here?" she asked, scowling.

I blinked. "Um, yeah, that's me," I said, confused. Who knew I was here? Hell, I didn't even know I was here until this morning.

The girl handed me an envelope, then walked into another room.

I opened it and stared, horrified, hardly processing what I was seeing. My walls went down. At the same time, Lissa's emotions hit me.

She was staring at her bedside table, confused. There was several strands of hair on it, strands she had no idea how they got there. There was a knock on the door, distracting her from the hair.

She push her blanket up to her chest, covering herself up.

"Come in!" she called down, wondering who it was. Not Christian or Adrian – they would just barge in.

A man walked in – clearly a guardian. "Princess." He nodded to her.

It was her guardian, the one who would replace me while I was gone. A shiver made its way done my back.

"Why are you here?" she asked, even more confused now.

"Headmistress Kirova asked me to keep an eye on you. Guardian Belikov and I will take turns guarding you, due to the increased Strigoi attacks. At the Academy, while he is guarding the perimeter, or your classes, I will be sleeping, and while he is sleeping, I will be doing rounds and watching you."

Lissa swallowed nervously. "Can you wait outside the door please? I would like to get dressed."

The guardian, _Guardian Dominic Salsky, _Lissa thought, nodded once, and stepped outside.

Lissa got up, forgetting about the hair with this new development and got dressed.

I pulled out of her head, looking down at the picture again. The picture of Lissa's new guardian, scissors in hand, dangerously close to her neck, cutting her hair.

Dinner was a tense affair – on my end, anyway. After the picture and going into Lissa's head, I was practically catatonic. Not only was Seneca's man guarding my best friend, but _I couldn't do anything about it. _The entire dinner, I sat picking at my food, gaining concerned looks from everyone at the table, but no one said anything, simply continuing on with their conversations. I couldn't help but be grateful. Something told me that I needed to trust them if they were to take me in. That, or maybe it was Dimitri's grandmother, Yeva, who had stuck her head into the kitchen halfway through dinner and scared the crap out of me. She had muttered something under her breath, then looked me right in the eye, and said:

"You must tell the truth now so later we can help." Then walked away. The looks had increased after her little visit, but still no one said anything, respecting my privacy.

* * *

><p>During dinner, I also officially met Karolina, Dimitri's eldest sister who had two kids; Paul, who was about ten years old and Zoya who was about a year. Sonya, the second oldest,was heavily pregnant. She had been the one to give me the envelope with the picture. Somehow, Seneca had known I was here, and reminded me that she could kill anyone at the blink of an eye.<p>

After dinner, everyone went out to the living room. Olena sat down in an armchair to knit, while Karolina and Sonya sat on the loveseat, quietly talking in Russian about whatever was on TV. I sat down on the couch, Viktoria plopping down next to me. Sydney had simply left halfway through dinner after picking at her food. She was now in her room, or so I assumed, having not seen her since.

A few minutes of sitting quietly later, Viktoria turned to me curiously.

"Why did you say you knew who I was?" she asked.

I hesitated. I wanted to tell them, so badly, but how?

"Dimka."

I jumped, not realizing Yeva had walked into the room.

"What, Babushka?" Viktoria asked, turning to look at her grandmother.

"Tell her," Yeva commanded, staring at me with her burning dark brown eyes.

I swallowed, slightly terrified. What if they were hurt?

"It will be safe," Yeva added, as if she could read my mind.

By now, we had caught the attention of everyone in the room.

"What do you need to tell us?" Karolina asked, cocking her head slightly to the side in puzzlement.

"I..." I looked at all the faces. Would they tell Dimitri? Part of me hoped that they would, but the more rational part reminded me what would happen if they did. Could I trust them?

Olena must have read the doubt and hesitation on my face because she said softly, "You can trust us, Roza. If you need us to not tell anyone, we won't."

Whether it was her motherly voice, the familiar accent, or the casual use of my name, I didn't know, but it caused tears to well up in my eyes.

Viktoria hurriedly put her arms around me when she saw the tears.

"If it makes you so upset, you don't have to tell us," she comforted me.

I blinked back tears the tears, pulling away slightly.

"No, no, I have to. Just...please, when I tell you...it need to stay in this room. I know you won't want to, but it's for your safety and Dimitri's."

I could tell my casual use of Dimitri's name caught their attention. Their eyes turned concerned.

"What about Dimitri? Are you talking about our brother?" Sonya asked sharply.

I flinched. What if they turned me out after hearing I was putting their son and brother in danger? For a second, I couldn't breath as the fear choked, then I steeled my resolve. If they turned me away, then so be it. There was nothing I could do. It was their choice and I wasn't going to whine or cry about it.

I took a steadying breath. "Yes, I am talking about your brother. No, there is nothing wrong with him, before you get worried. Or at least there won't be as long as I'm not around." I looked around the room at all the confused yet relieved faces, taking another deep breath. "I guess I should start from the beginning.

"When I was fifteen, I ran away from St. Vladimir's Academy with my best friend, Lissa Dragomir; yes the Princess. It wasn't safe at the Academy, so we left. After two years, Dimitri found us and brought us back. Headmistress Kirova was going to kick me out for 'kidnapping' -" I made air quotes, "-the Princess, but Dimitri stepped in and said he would mentor me. As he trained me, we grew closer and eventually fell in love." I paused, mentally editing as I didn't really wanting to get into all the details. "I - he saved me so many times. I-I love him so much." I broke off again as a sob tore through me. Remembering everything made me miss my Comrade so badly. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to comfort myself.

Viktoria pulled me close once more as another sob escaped. She murmured to me in Russian, just like Dimitri used to. I gritted my teeth. No. I was not going to cry. I pushed back my tears forcefully. I had to be strong so that I could go back to Dimitri. I had to be strong for my child.

"Sorry," I muttered, drying my cheeks. "Um. Well, uh, anyway. We had our ups and downs. We – we tried to resist since there were a lot of complications, like our age and position difference. None of that really mattered to either of us; we could have waited until I graduated. Those were just complications. Our biggest problem was having to guard the same charge, Lissa. We found a way around that though. Well, now I'm not sure what's going on." I stopped, realising that I was stalling. I sighed. "Three weeks ago, Seneca Ackes approached me. She said - she said that I had to leave Dimitri and disappear off the face of the earth, or else Dimitri, Lissa, all of my friends would get killed." I looked down, suddenly ashamed. I felt like a coward, running from a fight instead of standing up for myself. I had a burning need to make them understand my decision, to make them see that I loved Dimitri and didn't leave by choice. I looked back up at them beseechingly. "I couldn't let her hurt them. I asked Alberta if I could graduate early, pointing out that I had already killed. I asked if I could study abroad for a year, hoping that by then Seneca would forget about me or be distracted by something else." I swallowed. "I don't think she will be now, though. She, Lissa I mean, has a stand in guardian until I come back. He is one of Seneca's men. That letter I got this morning? It was a picture of him cutting Lissa's hair. It was Seneca's way of showing the easy access she had to Lissa and how easy it would be to kill her." I realised something else. "And the blame would fall on Dimitri," I said with dawning horror. "She would frame him, causing him to be executed or put into prison for life." I buried my face in my hands. "Oh, God."

"We will help you. It is not your fault," Yeva said, her hand on my shoulder.

I jumped, startled again. Wait, what did she say? I looked at her with disbelief.

"Yeah, Roza. We'll keep you safe," Vika said, hugging me. This time, I hugged her back.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Roza," I looked up at Olena's hesitant voice. "How - I mean, it's not any of my business and you don't have to tell us - but how are you pregnant?" Four pairs of eyes peered at me curiously.

I looked back at them, troubled. "I'm not sure. Dimitri is the only man I have ever been with." I blushed saying that. It hit me that the only people who knew about Dimitri and I were in this very room, with the exception of Adrian and Dimitri.

"Spirit." I turned to Yeva confused.

"You mean because I'm shadow kissed?" I asked.

Yeva shook her head. "Because of Oksana's spirit explosion."

I was even more confused now. "Huh?"

Olena explained it to me. "When he was a child, Oksana was pregnant. She was trying to avoid using spirit to minimize darkness. Dimitri was there and cut himself. She tried to resist, but suppressing spirit for five months plus her hormones and the urged caused a backfire of spirit and it hit Dimitri. He doesn't remember the event because of the spirit. We never really knew what the after effects would be. We knew he became more empathic, and understood people more. I believe he got some of Oksana's abilities on a much lesser, more subconscious level."

"Oh," I said softly. It explained a lot. Dimitri was able to read people easily, almost as easily as Adrian was, and he saw auras. So it was Dimitri who was special and caused this, not me. I smiled slightly. Of course. It was because of Dimitri any of this happened, and suddenly I loved this baby even more.

* * *

><p>I stayed with the Belikov's, in the room I had woken up in, which turned out to be Dimitri's. It was a bit bittersweet staying in his room, knowing he had lived here since he was a baby, and at the same time knowing I might never see him again. His room certainly looked like it would be his. Every time I stepped in, I half expected to see Dimitri sprawled across the bed, reading a western, and felt a stab every time I remembered he wasn't here. His family looked so much like him, at times it was overwhelming. The same hair, eyes, bones structure was seen everywhere in the house. Whenever I heard a Russian accent, I found myself looking around, trying to find him, only to realise it was someone else. The ache in my heart seemed to grow with my stomach. The only time I was able to see Dimitri was in the brief glimpses through Lissa's eyes. It was slow torture, really. Dimitri had already asked to be Christian's guardian, but since I wasn't there, he asked to continue to guard Lissa. He had been granted this, but had to go guard Christian when I came back. After a lot of consideration, I decided that I would not go back to guarding until after my baby was born, but I hadn't asked for an extension just yet. I talked to Olena, and decided that I would call and ask for an extension about a month after my baby was born and asked for another two years.<p>

While all this was happening, I finally met my dad. It turned out that he was Abe Mazur, who was also the person who had brought me to the Belikovs after I had killed the Strigoi. He'd tried to make me go back to America and school, but when I told him I was pregnant, he went ballistic. He had been ready to 'kill the man who had impregnated his little girl,' which was how I found out he was my father. I had explained to him the situation, and he immediately jumped into action.

"Don't worry, kiz," he had said. "I'll find out who is doing this and why, going through Seneca won't do any of us any good. The only way she'll stop is if she gets the order to, or finds the dead body of whoever had told her what to do. Because if she has no 'boss' so to speak, then she has no payment, which means there is no reason for her to do any favors. It's like mob law. If either sides break it, all hell breaks loose."

Turns out that Abe is also a mobster. Sigh. Why can I not have normal family and friends?

* * *

><p>The months flew by. Everyone in the family took plenty of pictures and videos, so that Dimitri wouldn't miss anything once we were back together. Everybody was optimistic, sure that we would get back together, which gave me hope. If his family believed it, then surely it would happen? I mean, Yeva believed it, and she was almost all knowing. Viktoria had had to go back to school a week into my stay, but she was soon back for summer vacation.<p>

I was huge at eight months and felt like I was going to pop at any moment. We had decided to do a home birth, since the only hospital for miles was almost two hours away, way too long to drive. Thankfully, Olena had experience with home birth, so I felt very safe in her care.

The day the baby finally came was a freezing day in the beginning of December. Russian winter was worse than Montana winter, I had discovered, although it should have been obvious. I'd gotten used to the warm summer, so when it start to grow cold, I was astonished.

I was sitting in the living room, watching TV. I had slowly began learning Russian, and could now speak basic Russian, such as greeting, directions, 'my name is,' and so on.

I felt another contraction hit me. I'd been getting small ones all day, but didn't think anything of it. It wouldn't be the first time. However, this one was followed by wetness between my legs, and it took me a moment to realise that it was my water breaking. Immediately, I called out to Olena.

"Olena, my water broke!"

"Oh!" I heard her yelp from in the kitchen, before the shuffling of feet made their way upstairs. "I'll draw the bath for you!" I heard her yell down.

"Thanks!" I yelled back. We were the only ones in the house. Karolina and Sonya were at work and Viktoria was at school. I remembered that Karo and Sonya had told me to call them when I was about to give birth, so I hauled myself off the couch and began walking towards the phone, which was sitting on a small table next to the wall. Just as I reached it, I was hit with a contraction. The pain of it made me gasp and double over, gripping the wall to keep myself from face planting on the floor. I took deep breaths until it passed, then picked up the phone and dialed their respective workplaces, praying I wouldn't get another contraction while I was talking to their bosses. Luck must have been on my side that day, because I got through both of the phones calls without getting another contraction. Albeit they were short, two minutes long phones calls, but still.

"Roza, come. We need to get you into the bathtub," Olena said, helping me up the stairs.

Halfway up, another contraction hit, making me cry out slightly.

"Roza!" two voices cried out at the same time. Karo and Sonya had joined us.

We finally made it up the stairs and into the bathroom. Once there, they helped me out of my clothes and into the bathtub.

While Olena timed the contraction and checked how much I was dilated, Karo and Sonya talked to me and helped me breathe. Sonya had had her baby the second month I stayed there and I had helped her through the birth as I had been the only one home besides Olena, so Sonya decided to return the favor. I had taken care of Sonya's little girl while she was working, to get practice for my own child and all of the Belikov women had taught me things I needed to know once I gave birth myself. A crib was in my room and I was looking for a job as I couldn't support my child on the salary the Academy had given me.

When I was finally dilated enough, Olena took me into my room, where I was going to give birth. I made myself comfortable as I awaited the entering of my child into this world.

There was a plastic sheet underneath the cloth sheet on my bed, so that it would be easy to clean it afterward.

The contractions began to come faster and stronger until it was finally time.

* * *

><p>After ten hours of labor, my baby boy was finally out.<p>

Olena carefully handed me the freshly cleaned baby. "There's your little angel."

I looked at the child in my arms, and suddenly, all the pain I felt from giving birth and not having my Dimitri by my side went away. The baby had my dark hair from what I could see, and I hoped he had Dimitri's eyes, but since his eyes were closed I couldn't tell.

"He's beautiful," I whispered, awestruck. I loved this baby so much. The moment was almost perfect; the only thing missing was Dimitri.

I heard the tell-tale click of the a camera, but I didn't look up, knowing that one of the Belikovs were taking the picture for Dimitri.

"What are you going to name him?" Karo asked in a hushed voice.

"Xavier," I murmured back. "Xavier Dmitrievich Hathaway Belikov."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does.

_In another life_

_I would be your girl_

_We'd keep all our promises_

_Be us against the world_

_In another life_

_I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say_

_You were the one that got away_

_The one that got away_

_-The One That Got Away, Katy Perry_

RPOV:**  
><strong>

The months flew by, and before I knew it, it was Xavier's first birthday.

In the past twelve months, he had went through a lot of his firsts, and every time he achieved something new, I felt like crying. On numerous occasions, I did cry. Like when Xavier took his first step. All I could think of as I encouraged him was the fact that Dimitri wasn't there and it was all my fault. The Belikovs assured me that it was the best way to keep everyone safe and relatively happy, and made sure everything was taped, but it wasn't the same.

Xavier's first word was 'papa,' oddly enough. Or maybe not so odd, since I always told him about his daddy. We'd been in the middle of telling Xavier about his father, using 'papa' instead of dad or daddy, because it was father in Russian. Xavier had gotten a look of intense concentration on his face, and Olena hurriedly got a camera, saying Dimitri had the same look on his face when he spoke. Lo and behold, just as Olena focused the camera on Xavier, he said, "Papa." I'd let out a gasp, then had to hold back tears. Dimitri wasn't there to see our little man say his first word. He would be so proud.

Now he was turning one, and he's certainly gained my talent for gab, and not Dimitri's silence. He spoke often, and though most of it was baby talk, he learned new words every day.

For his first birthday, we threw a mini party, consisting of the Belikovs, and Mark and Oksana, the shadow kissed couple who were responsible for my child. I'd met them shortly after they were mentioned to me and thanked them. Oksana had made me spirit rings to help control the darkness while I was pregnant and I'd become great friends with both of them. I learned many new things about spirit and being shadow kissed through them, and we helped each other.

Xavier stayed in a crib in my room since there wasn't much room in the house. On his birthday, I got up earlier than usual and helped decorate the house with banners and balloons. Olena made a big breakfast filled with all of Xavier's favorites. Of course, his foods were all slightly over cooked and soft, so that he was able to eat them, but he loved it. Olena had been slowly teaching me to cook, being eternally patient with me when I burned things. However, I was beginning to learn surprisingly well. She taught me how to cook for Xavier and Dimitri's favorite dishes, and also everyday dishes. She was so talented in the kitchen that some of it rubbed off on me!

Once the house was decorated and everything was ready, I went back upstairs and woke Xavier up. When he was awake, I dressed him, then helped him down the stairs. He was tall for his age, and very graceful, traits he clearly got from his father.

"It's your birthday, Xavy," I said, smiling.

Xavier clapped his hands, not truly understanding, but happy that I was happy.

When we reached the kitchen, everyone cried out, "Happy Birthday!"

Xavier looked around in wonder, excited at seeing all the balloons and pretty colors.

"Mama," Xavier tugged on my pant leg. "What's b-birfday?" he asked in his adorable baby voice.

I beamed down at him. "It means you're a year old," I replied. "And you get presents and cake."

Xavier looked puzzled at the prospect of presents. Last Christmas, he had been only a couple weeks old, so he didn't remember celebrating, so his first birthday, which was December 16, would be filled with learning what things like presents mean. And in a couple more weeks, he would get more presents, since it would be Christmas again. Lucky duck.

I led him to the table which was filled with food. In the living room, all of his presents were sitting on the couch.

"Food!" he exclaimed happily, and everyone chuckled. He got his love of food from me.

Karolina set a plate of food in front of everyone. Unfortunately, Viktoria wouldn't be home until a couple days before Christmas as she was still in school.

Xavier began eating his blini as soon as it was set in front of him. Blini was his favorite breakfast food, followed by omelets. I couldn't understand how he liked them; they were all runny and gross looking. However, Xavier loved them. To each his own, I guess.

Once breakfast was over, we all went to the living room. I set Xavier by his presents.

"Go ahead, open them," I encouraged him.

Xavier picked up one of the packages and looked at it curiously. He looked up at me, then stretched his arm, indicating for me to take it. I took it and unwrapped it for him, handing him the unwrapped toy train set. Xavier took it back and looked at in silence. I glanced around the room, noticing everyone's quiet expectation.

"Babushka gave it to you," I told Xavier.

"Baba?" Xavier looked at Olena, who smiled back.

"Happy birthday, little one," she said.

Xavier climbed off of the couch and walked over to Olena, giving her a hug. "Thank you, Baba," he replied.

I smiled. He was so polite.

Xavier went back to the couch and grabbed another package, this time trying to open it himself. After a few minutes of trying to get the tape off, he huffed in frustration and simply tore at the wrapping paper. Everyone chuckled at his antics.

"I think he has your patience," Karo joked.

I looked at her with mock horror. "Dear Lord, I hope not," I replied, causing everyone to laugh.

Paul watched Xavier with fascination. When Xavier was born, Paul had been super excited to have another boy in the house. Once Xavier began walking and talking, he and Paul became thick as thieves. Now that Xavier was having his first birthday, Paul probably couldn't wait to play with Xavier with his new toys. I smiled, glad they were such good friends despite the age difference.

Xavier finally pulled out a small duster, courtesy of Karo. I rolled my eyes at Xavier sudden excitement.

"Mama, mama!" He cried out, showing to me.

I grinned. "Yes, Xavy, I see. It's wonderful. It's from Auntie Karolina," I replied.

Xavier jumped from the couch and literally ran to Karo. "Thank you, thank you!" he bubbled out, jumping up and down.

Karo laughed. "You're welcome, little man," she said affectionately.

Xavier put on the duster with a little difficulty. Once it was on, he paraded happily around the room, looking like a miniature Dimitri. He had often been showed pictures of Dimitri, in which Dimitri was almost always wearing a duster, and had wanted one for himself. He'd gotten Dimitri loved of westerns, that was for sure.

"Come on, Xavier," I called to him. "Open your other presents."

Xavier went back to the couch, duster still on and his face now flushed with happiness. His brown eyes, the Belikov eyes, were shining so brightly I was half expecting them to shoot beams of light everywhere. The next present he opened was from me. Since we had all agreed on giving him only one present, so as to not spoil him, I compiled a couple presents into one. On top was a dark blue shirt which read 'My daddy kicks butt.' I couldn't resist getting it for him, even if Dimitri would probably never see it. Underneath that was a picture book about cowboys - a beginner western. And below all of that was a little plastic stake.

I thought Xavier would start bouncing off the walls when he saw the stake. He was so happy he couldn't even speak, only babbling incoherently in his baby talked. He ran and showed the stake to Paul excitedly, chattering at him. It seemed as though Paul understood him, because he nodded excitedly too.

"We can take turns. You can be the guardian and I'll be the Strigoi, then we can trade!" he shouted. "We'll be like Uncle Dimka and Auntie Roza!"

I smiled at the boys, happy that they were happy. Paul was almost nine years old now, but he still acted like he was three around Xavier.

I let them bounce with happiness for a few more minutes before turning Xavier's attention back to the presents. No one said anything about my cheating on the 'one present' rule. In my defense, the picture book was actually Viktoria's present to him.

After thanking me profusely for his presents, Xavier tore into the next present with vigor. Inside was a Woody the Cowboy action figure. Xavier grinned, clapping his hands. He loved the Toy Story movies.

"Aunt Sonya," I said in reply to his questioning look.

"Thank you, Auntie," Xavier said to Sonya, giving her a hug. Sonya smiled back. Belatedly, I realised she was filming the whole thing.

Xavier opened the rest of his presents. From Yeva, he got a small, round locket, silver and plain. In it, there was a picture of me in one window, and Dimitri in the other. Though the full sentimental value didn't register in Xavier's mind, I couldn't help but tear up. I wished Dimitri was there, sharing this moment with us.

From Abe, he got a savings account. I rolled my eyes at my father's choice of present, but figured he'd had no idea as to what he should get for his grandson.

Zoya and Anastasia, Sonya's little girl, had teamed up and made Xavier a picture frame with a drawing of the four of them, Zoya, Ana, Paul, and Xavier. I was surprised by the thoughtfulness behind the gift, and even more surprised by Xavier understanding of it. I figured it was because the cousins were so close.

After Xavier calmed from getting all the amazing presents, we all went out to build a snowman. Winter came late this year, snow having fallen only the last couple of days. Thankfully, it stuck, so Xavier was able to play. Xavier, Paul, Zoya and Anastasia all ended up having a snowball fight with us three mothers supervising. Olena went back in to make lunch while Yeva stayed in her attic room doing God only knew what. We all went in for lunch, then spent the rest of the day showering Xavier with attention.

Time flew once more, the gap between now and the moment I would have to go back lessening with each passing day.

Viktoria's graduation flashed by, then her assignment. To my surprise, she was assigned Christian Ozera. I was pulled into Lissa's mind when it happened, having been taken off-guard at the intense astonishment and happiness flowing from the bond. Dimitri had also been extremely happy at the assignment and had a tearful reunion with his sister. Unfortunately, that reunion made him miss home so much that he decided to visit.

I had merely two days' notice that he was coming back. In those two days, I somehow managed to move all of my clothing into Viktoria's room, hand Xavier over to his grandfather, and flee halfway across Russia. It was decided that I would travel around, finding guardians willing to teach me new moves, and get rid of some Strigoi, until Dimitri left.

There was nothing I wanted more than to see Dimitri through my own eyes, to touch him, talk to him, _smell _him. Hear his voice. Anything. But I knew I couldn't, since an odd woman had been spotted a day before Dimitri was to arrive. I shuddered at the thought that Dimitri would get hurt because of me. However, I couldn't help but push my lucky.

Once everything was in place, I dilly-dallied around the house, the minutes until Dimitri arrived ticking down. I felt my whole body thrum with anticipation. I just wanted a peak. A small one. Yearning overpowered my mind for a few minutes. Until we got the phone call from Viktoria that they were in an accident.

"No one was hurt," she assured us, her voice trembling. She knew it was no accident.

I stared in horror at the phone before turning around, grabbing my bag and sprinting out of the house.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: *peaks around the corner before hesitantly walking in.* Hey, guys! *Gives small wave* Long time, no see. What do you think? You like? Please don't kill me! I'm really sorry for abandoning this story...but I'm back now! (mostly)**_

_**Next chapter, you get to see through Dimitri's eyes :D Think he'll know that Rose has been staying in his room? After all, two years' worth of stuff is a lot to hide in two days' time (; **_

_**Thank you everyone for your reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**-Tatiana**_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does.

_Now this place seems familiar to him_

_She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin_

_She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs_

_Left him dying to get in_

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find_

_My calling, I'm calling at night_

_I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?_

_She's been running through my dreams_

_And it's driving me crazy, it seems_

_I'm gonna ask her to marry me_

_-Remembering Sunday, All Time Low _

DPOV:

I stepped into my family's house for the first time in five years. Stepping through the door was like stepping into a whole other world. The house was bright and welcoming, warm and comforting. Homey. Loving. My mother welcomed me in with open arms – literally.

"Oh, my baby boy, thank goodness you weren't hurt!" she cried out, hugging me tightly.

"Mama," I whispered, holding her close.

Seeing my family, hugging my mama, all of it patched up the hole that had been in my chest ever since Rose had left. Mostly, anyway.

My sisters rushed over to hug me next. Babushka simply put her hand on my cheek and smiled.

"You must be tired and hungry," my mother said worriedly.

I kept myself from rolling my eyes. She meant well. "I'm fine, Mama. Just a bit tired from the flight is all." Suddenly, I realised that we were talking in English. I frowned. "Why are we speaking in English?"

A beat of silence followed my question before Mama answered.

"You were speaking in English, so I guess it was automatic." She looked slightly nervous and my frown deepened.

"Would you like me to take your stuff up?" Vika offered.

I knew it was her way of letting me catch up with the rest of the family, but I needed a moment to think. They were all clearly hiding something from me.

"No, it's alright, Vika. I'll take it up." There was something odd about the atmosphere and as soon as I walked into my room, I knew what it was. _Roza. _

I could smell her in my room, as odd as it sounded, the perfume she used and just her. Her essence lingered, proving to me she was here just a little while ago. She slept in my bed. My heart ached at the thought. How I wished I could see that, experience it with her. I took several deep breaths, trying not to let the emotions overtake me. _Be a big boy now, _I said sarcastically to myself.

My sharp eyes darted around the room, cataloging any changes. Underneath the bed, a shirt lay - red and small, certainly not one of mine. Underneath the dresser, a child's toy peeked out. I stared at it for a moment in confusion. Perhaps one of Paul's or Zoya's?

I opened my closet to see it filled with my clothing, just as I had left it. However, they were all pushed to one side, as if to make room for more. There were several pieces of tape stuck to the door, matching those on the walls, as if someone had hastily taken down pictures. And there, on the floor of the closet, lay a photograph. I bent down and picked it up, hardly believing my eyes.

For a few moments, I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing; when I did, I nearly dropped the picture in my shock.

It was a picture of my Roza, grinning happily at the camera, her dark brown eyes sparkling with happiness, although a hint of sadness and hurt lingered. In her arms was a little boy, clearly her son. He looked at least one, well on his way to two years old, as he had teeth. The little boy was laughing, his eyes, so much like my own, bright and open wide with wonder. With a jolt, I realised he was ours.

I stared in wonder at the child. I had a son. _It's impossible. _Clearly, it was possible, since the evidence was in my Roza's arms. A perfect mix of her and I, my eyes, her nose, her hair, my chin, her lips in the shape of my mouth. By the way he was sitting, he had my height too, it appeared. I flipped the picture over in hopes that there was something written.

_Rose Hathaway and Xavier Hathaway-Belikov_

_June 8, 2011_

I frowned, trying to do the math in my head.

She clearly got pregnant sometime in March, or beginning of April. So, nine months from March would be...end of November, or December, depending on when she was impregnated. I guessed about December, since she left in the first week of April, by which time she would have been showing signs if she had gotten pregnant in March. I sighed and went back to doing math. So if Xavier was born in December of 2009, then he turned one a year later in 2010. From December to June was...about six months. So I was right; he was about a year and a half in this picture. I sighed again. He was two by now. I had missed everything in my son's life, most of his firsts and two of his birthdays. I blinked back tears as the full implications of this picture hit me. I had a son. Rose and I had a son. Part of me and Rose lived. It was supposed to be impossible, yet here he was. _She gave him my last name. _I had a son. For a second, I had trouble breathing.

I stepped out of the closet, clutching the photograph. I clenched my jaw, gaining control of myself once more. I was determined to find my Roza and my son and demand what happened. She hadn't cheated on me, everything was perfect. Was it because she found out she was pregnant? I paused in my pacing at this revelation. Maybe. Maybe she wasn't sure how I would react. Maybe she was afraid I wouldn't believe her. But then why did she pretend to cheat on me? She hadn't shown any signs of pregnancy, never thrown up, as far as I knew, and I had spent almost every night and morning with her. She didn't really have time to visit the infirmary to find out, as she had graduated shortly after our last training session. Surely Alberta would have let me know, if she knew, which she would have to if the doctor knew. So why go to my family, then run away as soon as I came here? Why did no one tell me I had a son? They knew for sure that I would believe her and help raise the child. Even if it wasn't mine, which Xavier clearly was, I would have helped her. She knew I wanted a family with her, even if it wasn't technically my child. I frowned. It had to be something else. I had to find her and talk to her, bring her back,

"Dimka, you must let her come to you." _(A/N: assume all conversation from now on is in Russian) _

I jumped a mile at my grandmother's voice.

"Babushka -" I began.

"No. this is beyond you and your Roza. I do not know who or what. I feel hatred and twisted love. Do not let your guard down, my grandson. Your Roza knows what she is doing. She is gathering troops as we speak."

Babushka blinked up at me with her wise, intelligent eyes.

I swallowed, feeling like a little boy again. "Please, tell me about them," I pleaded in a whisper.

Babushka's eyes softened. "Come child. We will tell you about your Roza and your Xavier."

* * *

><p>I sat on the couch in the living room, most of my family surrounding me. They had pulled out pictures and videos taken throughout not only Roza's pregnancy but the duration of Xavier's life. They told me stories of Xavier growing, showed me his first steps, his first word. I was honored to have 'Papa' as Xavier's first word, even though I hadn't been there. Throughout everything, I sat listening and watching with rapt attention, awed with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Everything I saw and heard was further proof that my Roza loved me. She took such care to make sure I saw every moment of Xavier's life. To see that he was a mini me, strutting around with a duster just like mine on his birthday, practicing ridding the world of bad guys, and taking care of his mommy was astounding to me. I found myself loving him, despite the fact I had never in my life met him in person. He was truly my son. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched Roza give birth to him, alternately cursing me for getting her pregnant and begging for me to be there. I closed my burning eyes, not wanting to show my family how much this hurt. The pain sharpened and honed in on my heart as I heard from the TV Roza sobbing, "Dimitri! I can't do this, not without him! Please!"<p>

"Dimka." I felt my mother's soft hand wipe tears off my face. Slowly, I opened my eyes to meet brown eyes matching mine, soft and filled with compassion. "You will have your Roza. Don't lose hope."

"I miss her, Mama." I whispered brokenly. I was aware of my sisters shifting away, as if trying to give me privacy by not listening and support without leaving at the same time.

"I understand, son. But she will have to take up her duties once more in a little while. You will see her then." My mother wrapped her arms around me in comfort. I buried my face in her shoulder, needing my mama's comfort, despite the fact that I was a grown man. As my sisters joined in on the hug, I couldn't find it in me to be ashamed of my weakness. Some things were impossible to hide.

As I sat there, wrapped in love, I vowed to myself that I would get to the bottom of this if it was the last thing I did. I would have my Roza in my arms once more, and I would never let go.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Well...what do you think? Didn't this chapter just make you cry? Oh, and I know how utterly random the moment when Dimitri is trying to figure out how old Xavier was in the picture was, but I saw it as a bit of a coping mechanism. He couldn't truly comprehend the fact that he had a son, so his mind went on a more logical train of thought until he was ready to face the facts. **_

_**I felt really unloved last chapter. Was it that bad? :'( Does no one like my story any more? **_

_**Please review! And thank you to those who did review! You made me smile! **_

_**xoxoxoxo**_

_**-Tatiana**_


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own VA.

_So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars._

_I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye._

_The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone._

_I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye._

….

_You wouldn't like me._

_Keep moving on until forever ends._

_Don't try to fight me._

_The beauty queen has lost her crown again._

…_._

_Just take a breath and softly say goodbye._

-Here We Are, Breaking Benjamin

RPOV:

It took a full two weeks for Dimitri to leave, but I didn't go back for another two. In that month away from my family, I took the opportunity to travel, seeking out guardians willing to teach me more. After I had given birth to Xavier, I found time to meet with Mark and keep up with my training. As Xavier grew older, I was able to get out more, sometimes going Strigoi hunting in the city. Those times were few and far between; I mostly went hunting for about a week at a time with the Unpromised. They were a group of three teens who had dropped out of school in favor of simply hunting. I wasn't stupid enough to go on a vigilante mission and leave my child parentless, so going with them was the only option. They often tried to recruit me to be with them permanently and on more than one occasion both guys had made a pass at me. I told them no; I had duties as a mother and guardian and that I was with someone. Of course, the last thing was a bit of a lie, but that was beside the point.

Through my travels, I trained with about a dozen dhampirs. I stayed with each trainer for a week. Four places in four weeks. At each played I stayed, there were always other guardians and dhampirs willing to help. I learned many different moves. It's amazing what a single - three hour - session can teach you.

However, I was glad to be back with my family.

After picking up Xavier from my dad's house, I made my way back to the Belikovs.

Stepping into the house, the first thing I noticed was the silence. In the silence I noticed the shift in the atmosphere. It was lightened. When I left, it was tense and nervous. Now it was relaxed and happy. I assumed Dimitri's visit had been a happy one. How I yearned to have been there and introduce him to his son.

"I'm home!" I called out.

"Hi Roza," Karolina greeted me as she walked into the kitchen, smiling.

"Hey," I gave her a hug. I'd missed everyone. "Where is everyone?"

She knelt down and gave Xavier a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Hey, little man, how are you? I missed you."

"I missed you too, Auntie Karo," Xavier said in his adorable high voice, hugging her back.

Karolina stood back up.

"Mama is visiting with friends, Sonya is working, and Vika left with Dimitri. Babushka is upstairs," she rattled off. "Paul, Zoya and Anastasia are at a friend's house."

Paul was going to be going to school in a month so he was taking every chance to hang out with friends. I had to go back to guarding in the same month, so it was decided that we would simply ride the same plane out. Xavier was now two, almost three years old. It was amazing how much he grew up. He had a mouth full of teeth, and he never lost an opportunity to show them off by speaking. He was a regular chatterbox, but at times I would see bits of his father show up in his silence. He was brilliant. I'd decided that when I went back to guarding in September, Xavier would stay with the Belikovs and my dad.

"How was Dimitri?" I asked, hungry for any details.

"Well..." Karolina hesitated. "We should sit down."

My eyes widened. "What? What's wrong? Is he okay? Is he hurt? Will he be alright?" I shot off questions as fast as I could say them.

"Oh, no, no, no! Roza, calm down, Dimitri is fine!" Karolina hurried to assure me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

We settled down on the couch in the living room, Xavier quiet in my arms. I looked down to make sure he wasn't sleep. He wasn't, just staring at Karo with large brown eyes.

"Rose, please don't be mad," Karolina began, and immediately, my walls went up. "The first day here, he went upstairs to his room, and found a picture of you and Xavier on the floor of the closet."

I mulled over that for a moment. I knew what picture she was talking about. I had left it there, why, I wasn't sure. In hopes that he would find it? Well, he clearly did.

"And?" I finally said, my voice stiff. I tried not to cry.

"Well, Babushka had us tell him everything. We showed him all the videos and pictures. All of it. Just as well, too, since we weren't all that good at hiding everything." She nodded towards the wall opposite us. I looked and saw a picture of Xavier and I, at his first birthday party. Both of us were covered in cake, laughing.

"Oh," I said, my voice faint. "I see. Did-did you also tell him about Seneca?"

Karolina shook her head. "No, Babushka stopped us. I suppose if he knew, he would search and tear the world apart for the perpetrator, hurting himself in the process."

I closed my eyes and held my son tighter.

"Momma?" Xavier asked. "When do I get to see Papa?"

A tear rolled down my cheek at his words. I opened my eyes and turned so that Xavier was facing me. "You'll get to see your Daddy soon," I promised. I sighed heavily. "But right now, I need to talk to your grandpa. Karo, could you please watch over Xavier for a little while?"

"But Momma, I want to stay with you," Xavier said, his eyes watering.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. How could I ever leave him to guard, well, anyone? How could I leave my little man for only God knew how long, put myself in danger?

Maybe it would be better if I gave up guarding altogether. That way, Lissa, Dimitri, and everyone else would be safe from me, I would stay with my son, and everything would be perfect.

Then I imagined how hurt Lissa would be, how disappointed Dimitri would be, how horrible it would be to stay home all day, working a nine to five job, not fighting, not protecting. I had to guard – it was in my blood, literally. It was what I was raised to do. I _had _to.

That steeled my resolved. I set Xavier down. "I won't be long, love. I just need to make a phone call," I assured him, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Momma," Xavier mumbled, clinging to me.

I smiled down at him lovingly. "Little Xavy, I need to go so that I can come back."

"Okay Momma, You promise you won't be long?" His innocent eyes stared up at me, exactly like his father's. My heart broke a little more.

"I promise," I said.

"Okay." He let me go, trotting over to Karolina.

Taking a deep breath, I walked out, dialing the familiar number as I stepped out side. I leaned against the side of the house as I waited for him to pick up.

"Mazur," my father said curtly.

"Hey, old man," I said, attempting to sound cheerful.

"Little girl, how are you?" Abe replied, sounding much warmer.

"How is this going to work?" I blurted out.

"How is what going to work?" he asked.

"This...this whole thing. I mean, how am I to go back to guarding Lissa when I have Seneca breathing down my neck? Hell, I'd have to protect her form myself first before any Strigoi!" I was starting to sound hysterical.

"Rose, Rose, calm down. Okay? Just calm down. I'm going to be sending Pavel with you. He will become your guarding partner, while Dimitri becomes Viktoria's. I have it all figured out," Abe assured me.

My breath caught. "But doing that, from what you're told me, would be like an act of war. You'd be declaring war on Seneca. Wouldn't that put everyone in danger?"

Abe sighed. "Yes, I would be basically claiming you as my daughter, which would open the flood gates to all sorts of threats. But Seneca will want you all to her self, so you shouldn't worry about other people. She'll keep them at bay. Me aiding you would be letting her know I care about your well being. She would want you personally so that she would have something to hold over me. But she _will _underestimate you, I know her." Abe sighed again, a large, world weary sigh. "There are times like these that I wonder why I got into this world. But then..." he trailed off. "Anyway, don't worry so much. We'll usurp Seneca's man, put our own people into it, and...it will be alright. I'm looking into the person behind all of this. So far, she's good at hiding her trail. Seneca, that is. But no one is perfect."

"Will it actually work that way?" I asked hopefully.

"We can only hope," Abe replied ominously.

The conversation ended quickly after that, and I was able to go back to my little boy.

* * *

><p>By the time Karolina and I finished dinner, everyone had come back. After a brief reunion, we sat down for dinner. The conversation was lively that night as everyone caught me up on the things I had missed. Paul begged me to show him new moves I had learned. I promised him I would do so, tomorrow. I was making a lot of promise, I mused.<p>

Xavier stayed quiet the entire evening, causing me to grow very concern about his well-being.

During a lull in the conversation, I leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Xavy, are you all right?"

Xavier looked at me, his eyes shining with tears. "Everyone knows Papa but me. I wanna know my papa." He pouted, his little lip trembling.

I bit my own lip to keep from crying. "Oh, Xavier, I promise you'll meet your daddy. I _promise_. It might take a little while though."

Xavier's lip still trembled, a fat tear sliding down his face. "But I'm gonna lose you, Mama," he mumbled, sniffling.

"You're not going to lose me," I said softly. "Why would you think that?"

Xavier's little fist swiped at another tear. "You're leaving me," he mumbled.

"Oh, Xavier, it's not forever. Just a little while."

"But what if you don't come back? I don' wanna lose you." He released a great sob, and my arms folded around him, pulling him close.

"Oh, my little man," I whispered, rocking him gently. "You'll never lose me. Never ever, I've told you this."

Xavier let out another sob. "You said I'd see Papa. Papa was here. But I didn't see him."

A tear rolled down my face as pain wracked my body. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I am so, so sorry."

The rest of the family watched this little scene with pain in their eyes.

I picked Xavier up and carried him to our room. Everything was back in place from when I had left, courtesy of Abe and the Belikovs. I sat on my bed, my little man still in my arms.

"Xavier, I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish you could meet your father, but it's not safe." I kissed his dark hair. "you know how there are evil vampires?"

Xavier nodded against my collar bone. "Well, there's this person. She's mean, just like the Strigoi. She says she will hurt daddy, if I'm near him. So, I just need to make sure it's safe, and you can meet daddy, okay?"

Xavier sniffled again, his sobs stopped. "Promise?" he asked in a small voice.

I sat him up. "Didn't I already promise? Yes, you will meet your daddy once it's safe." I kissed his little nose.

Xavier smiled. "Does Papa love me?"

I smiled back. "Yes, Papa loves you very much."

"Okay." He laid his head down on my shoulder, worm out from crying.

"Are you going to sleep?" I asked.

Xavier nodded. "Sing to me, momma."

I sighed softly. "What would you like me to sing?"

Xavier shrugged. "A song."

I chuckled softly. "Any song? Okay, hm..." After a moment's thought, I decided to sing 'Never Grow Up,' a song Viktoria had introduced me to. Though it was a country song, it was one of those I liked.

"Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming and it's so quiet in the world tonight..."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Paul woke me up early.<p>

"Auntie Roza, Auntie Roza!" he cried out, jumping on my bed. Though he was now twelve years old, at times like these, he acted like a three year old. Must be why and Xavier got along so well.

"Yes?" I grumbled, unsticking my eyes from the gunk that had formed during the night as a result of my tears.

"You promised to show me moves!" he called.

I groaned, falling back into the pillows.

Xavier joined Paul jumping on the bed.

"Alright, alright!" I cried out, laughing. "I'm up!"

I rolled out of bed and pushed Paul out the door. "I'll be out as soon as I change," I told him firmly.

"Hurry, Auntie Roza!" he yelled back.

I sighed and set about getting dressed and helping Xavier. I helped him pull on a pair of dark blue shorts and a light blue t-shirt. I decided to match him today, and pulled on a light blue tank top and dark blue track pants. Though wearing shorts would be preferable in this heat, I didn't feel like dealing with scrapes I would undoubtedly get form falling while Xavier and Paul played Strigoi and guardian.

As I brushed my hair in to a pony tail, I smiled sadly at my reflection. Such violence from such a young age. It was no wonder so many dhampires were so eager to become guardians. I sighed wearily and pulled on my sneakers, more than ready for the killing games to be over.

* * *

><p>After playing with Paul and my son for two hours, I decided it was time to come in for lunch. Amid many protests, I hauled them back inside for some sandwiches. Technically, I should be working at a job right now, but since I was leaving in less than a month, I had simply quit, for once allowing Abe to pay for all of my expenses.<p>

As the boys gobbled down their lunch, I tried to imagine my life without seeing them for months at a time. My heart squeezed painfully and I brusquely pushed aside that thought. _I am going to spend every minute I can with them, _I thought with determination.

It wasn't difficult, as both boys seemed to sense the winds of change and clung to me like there was no tomorrow. As the time neared to parting, the nervous tension in the house rocketed skyward. Every spare moment was spent together. No one wanted to part, as we didn't know when we would see each other again.

The day snuck up on us unexpectedly. One moment we had a week to go, the next it was only hours until departure.

Abe showed up to drive us to the train station. I would ride to Moscow with Paul, where he would get on a bus to his school, while I would go to the airport to head to Court.

"Now, Rose," Abe began. "I want you to keep this on you at all times. I want daily updates, and I'll return the favor." He handed me a headset along with a phone. "No one can trace this; it's one of my specialty phones," he added.

I put the phone in my pocket and linked the headset to it. The headset itself was small. There was one speaker, which looked like something for an iPod, and a subtle microphone. Both were skin colored, so unless you looked very carefully at the side of my face, you would never notice it was there.

"Daily updates? Promise?" I double checked.

Abe nodded. "Promise."

I flung my arms around him. "Thank you, Daddy," I whispered, holding back tears.

Abe hugged me back tightly. "Nothing to thank me for, kiz. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy." I didn't care how little girl-y I sounded. My father was doing so much for me, sacrificing so much.

He let go and stepped back. "We need to get going," he said gruffly, his voice rough with emotion.

We all piled into his car, Paul, Xavier, Abe and I. It wasn't quite a limo, more like an extended SUV, but not quite a van. I had no idea cars like these existed, and suspected this was something unique to Abe, just like Abe himself.

The Belikovs, whom I'd already had a teary farewell with, waved as we drove off.

The drive to the train station was silent, putting in mind a funeral procession. Xavier clung to me, not wanting me to go.

It was heart breaking to see Xavier so upset about me leaving, and even more heart breaking to be leaving him.

I didn't rebuke him for clinging; I clung on to him like it was the last time I would see him. I shuddered away from the thought.

When the time came to truly leave, Xavier wouldn't let go.

"No, Momma, don't leave!" he sobbed.

I held him close to my heart, tears pouring silently from my eyes. "I don't want to," I told him. "I really don't. But I have to, love. I _have _to."

Xavier shook his head, his little fists clutching my shirt. "No, Momma!"

A sob escaped my tightly pressed lips. "Baby, I have to. I have to so you can see your daddy and your auntie Lissa and uncle Chris, and Uncle Adrian. All those people I promised you would meet, I have to keep that promise. And to do that I need to leave," I coaxed him.

Xavier kept shaking his head. "No, Momma, I don't want to meet them if you have to leave."

"Xavier." Inside, my heart finally tore itself for the last time. I forced his hands off of my shirt, and put him into Abe's arms. I gritted my teeth and wiped away my tears, allowing all emotions to disappear from my face. "You be good to your grandfather, now," I said sternly. "Now, say good bye to Paul, or else we're going to be late." I kissed him one last time, kissed my father, and then silently got onto the train, Pavel behind me.

I claimed a window seat, much like the last time I was on a train, going to Baia, though. Now I was leaving it, and the only thing more painful that this was when I left Dimitri. Why did leaving have to hurt so much?

Paul walked into the compartment just as the conductor was calling for the last passengers.

Out of the window, I could see my little boy clutching onto Abe, who was staring expressionless at the train.

Tears poured down my cheeks, and within moments, I was full on sobbing, great heaving sob that tore at my chest.

_Why God? _I asked silently, crying too hard to say it out loud. _Why? What did I ever do to you? _Pavel pulled me into his chest and allow me to cry myself out. Paul watched quietly, his red rimmed eyes empty.

It was dark by the time I finally calmed down. I now simply lay there on the lower bunk, empty, doing nothing more than breathing. There was nothing in me. I was an empty husk, a shell of a person. My heart was so torn and bleeding that there was nothing left to feel with. Part of my soul had been left with Dimitri, and the other part with Xavier. There was nothing left.

* * *

><p>My mind was blank as I stood outside Lissa's apartment door. Lissa was inside, along with Christian, Dimitri, Adrian, and Viktoria. I knew Dominic had been discharged the day before, leaving vacant spots for Pavel and I.<p>

I wasn't sure whether I should knock or just walk right in, but Pavel took the option off my hands. He knocked.

A couple of seconds ticked by before Viktoria opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw who was on the other side, and stepped out, hurriedly closing thedoorbehind herself.

"Rose!" she whisper-yelled, then seemed to catch sight of my face. "Oh, Roza," she murmured, wrapping her arms around me in a hug filled with love. "It'll be okay."

I stayed still as a statue, not enough energy within me to reciprocate.

I swallowed, knowing I had to say something. "You are Christian's guarding along with Dimitri, and Pavel and me Lissa's, right?" I said all of this in one breath, my voice coming out scratchy and unused.

Viktoria nodded quickly, concern burning in her eyes. "Dimitri know about Xavier," she whispered, "but that's all he knows. Lissa doesn't know, or anyone else for that matter. He tried to get out of me why you had to leave, but I never told him. I'll make sure you're away from him, if you want?"

All I could manage was a single nod.

"Okay, we better go in. Lissa and everyone else is confused about the change in guardians. As am I."

"He's Abe's," I forced, attempting to give Pavel an apologetic look at the possessive.

Pavel simply nodded. "Abe put me in charge of the Princess and Rose, so both are safe," he rumbled out, his voice deep and vaguely accented.

"Oooh," Viktoria whispered, her eyes widening.

I took a deep breath. "We better get in there," I murmured, staring at the door as if it would eat me. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky.

Viktoria nodded and opened the door again.

"Who was there?" Christian called out.

Pavel stepped inside. "Me," he replied. He bowed. "I am Guardian Aleksandr Pavel. I am your new guardian, Princess Dragomir."

I couldn't see anyone's response to this, but I felt her surprise through the bond. No one had seen me yet, as I was covered by Pavel's huge frame.

"Please, call me Lissa," Lissa requested politely.

I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind Pavel.

The room was still. Then Lissa was hurtling at me, screaming, "Rose! You're back!"

She slammed into me and I braced myself to keep from falling backward. She hugged me tightly, but I stood still, not lifting a finger. After a moment, I stepped back, extricating myself from her arms.

I gave her a bow, my face emotionless, stone. "Hello, Princess Dragomir," I said coldly.

Lissa's intense shock and hurt course through me, pulling me into her mind. I had a brief moment to curse myself for not putting up my blocks, then I was staring...at _me_.

I looked so cold, stone, empty of any warmth. It was startling, and a little scary. It was as if I was a soulless, heartless machine, good for nothing more than fighting and protecting.

I winced mentally and pulled myself out.

"R-Rose?" Lissa asked in a small voice.

"Please call me Guardian Hathaway," I said smoothly, coolly.

Tears sprang to Lissa's eyes and she turned away. Christian opened his arms for her, holding her close. With a pang, I was reminded of my son, how I used to hold him exactly like that. I swallowed the building emotion.

I allowed my eyes to trail the room. I knew Dimitri was in the far right corner, so I started form the left.

Adrian was staring at me. No, not me. My aura. Judging by the screwed up and pained look on his face, it wasn't pretty. Personally, I didn't want to know what it looked like. Most likely it was that of a widow grieving the death of her son. Just a wild guess.

Viktoria stood near him, giving me a sympathetic look. My lips twitched in an attempt at a reassuring smile.

Next was Christian and Lissa, both of whom gave me wounded eyes.

I held my breath as my eyes traveled to the far right – to Dimitri.

As they landed on him, all air was knock out of me, like a punch in the stomach by an ancient Strigoi.

He looked unchanged. His hair was still long, tucked into a ponytail. His face was the familiar tan, unlined except for laugh lines in the corners of his eyes. But, oh, his eyes. They were twin pools of deep happiness and pain, misery and hope. He appeared as if he wanted to leap at me and wrap me in his arms, his body taunt like a bow string. I suspected nothing more than duty kept him glued to his spot; not even my cold reception of Lissa would dissuade him.

I drank him in greedily. I was afraid this would be the last time I could truly gaze upon him and not get in trouble. After all, it was only a matter of time before Seneca acted.

I could feel my body lean toward him, wanting nothing more than to jump into his arms, burying my face in his chest, inhale his delicious scent, and never resurface again. Pavel's hand stopped me.

It was nothing more than a brush against my arm, but I straightened up, trying to rid my body of all feelings. I wanted to go back to my emotionless existence of a few minutes ago. The want, the need, the love and pain coursing through me was dangerous.

I wasn't in control of myself, which could lead to mistakes on my part, which could result in someone getting hurt. And that was the last thing I wanted.

My spine straightened, and my chin lifted. "I am here to be your guardian, Princess Dragomir. I am aware that we will be attending Lehigh. Until then, Pavel and I will be trading shifts. If I am not needed, then I will be staying in a guardian apartment until it is my shift," I said formally.

Silence. Then, "No, Rose, we got it," Viktoria said casually.

I gave a single nod and walked out.

* * *

><p>AN: You have no idea how happy I am to be posting this again! Soo...I'm back :D For real, this time! I'm going to keep going with this story until it's finished! Not that there's much left...well, about ten chapters, or so...(: Next chapter is DPOV of Rose's return! :D I'm not sure when I'll be able to update the next chapter, since I have school for the next four days, but I certainly will have the next one my Sunday :D I have a difficult time writing during the school week, since I'm always tired when I come home. But...I'm going to start replying to your reviews in the chapter(: It's fun! So if you see an uberly long chapter, keep in mind part of that is the response to reviews! I won't do it for this chapter, since it's late here and I still need to do stuff, but next chapter, definitely!

Sorry for such a long wait. Thank you everyone for reviewing! Show some love to the broken Rose, and review :D


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own VA, but I do own Xavier(:

_So why are you so eager to betray?_

_Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up._

_So why are you the one that walks away?_

_Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up._

_Just take a breath and softly say goodbye._

_- Here We Are, Breaking Benjamin_

DPOV:

(the day before Rose comes to Court)

I watched, confused, as Guardian Croft told Guardian Salsky that he was no longer guarding the Princess. That left her guardianless.

"Sir," I began, frowning.

Guardian Croft lifted his hand and I shut my mouth. "I understand your concern, Guardian Belikov. However, there is no need for it. Princess Dragomir will be guarded by Court guardians until the replacements arrive tomorrow. As of now, you are officially Lord Ozera's guardian," Guardian Croft explained.

"And Guardian Belikova?" I asked, my sister's formal name sounding odd on my lips.

"She will be guarding Lord Ozera along side you," Guardian Croft replied. He lifted an eyebrow. "Unless there is an issue...?"

I shook my head. "No, sir. I was merely...surprised." Far be it for me to protest the assignments, but Christian Ozera receiving two guardians was a shock.

"Well, as we have observed that Lord Ozera and Princess Dragomir are very close, so we have decided that an extra layer of protection for the Princess wouldn't be unneeded. Lehigh is highly guarded; however, now the Princess will have a guardian with her within the classes themselves," Guardian Croft explained.

I gave a single nod. "I see. Thank you sir. Am I needed for anything more?"

Guardian Croft shook his head. "No. I believe the Princess's new guardians will be arriving within the next day or so."

I nodded once more. I opened my mouth to ask who were her new guardians, but decided against it. I didn't want to know, didn't dare to hope that it was my Roza. Instead, I bid him farewell, and walked out.

Seeing as it wasn't my shift just yet, I had several hours to myself. I contemplated what to do as I made my way to my apartment. I knew my sister wasn't guarding right now either, so I changed direction and walked to her apartment.

"Hey, Vika," I said cheerfully as she opened her door. She allowed me in, and we settled on her couch.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, thank you." I paused. "Do you know who the replacements for Guardian Salsky and me are?"

Viktoria tense slightly at the mention of Guardian Salsky. It was such a commonplace action that I hardly noticed it any more. However, now it seemed...too obvious.

"Guardian Salsky is gone?" Viktoria asked hopefully.

I frowned. "Yes. Viktoria, you shouldn't make enemies with fellow guardians," I said sternly.

Viktoria snorted. "If you knew..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "Do you know who the replacements – oh, right." She chuckled at her mistake.

"No, that's what I'm asking you," I teased. "Get the cotton out of your ears."

Viktoria rolled her eyes. "Dimka, no one uses that expression any more," she said, mock disgusted. "I see what Roza means now, you always living in your cowboy books."

A smile spread across my lips as the familiar pang hit my heart. "I miss her," I said sadly. "Every day. Why did she leave?" I looked at my sister pleading. It was an age old argument and nothing so far had gotten her to budge on her answer.

Viktoria turned her eyes away from me. "Dimka, it's not my place," Viktoria murmured.

"If – if Roza comes here, will she bring Xavier?" I prayed she would say yes.

However, the instant I caught sight of her apologetic face, I knew the answer.

"I'm sorry, Dimka. I'm pretty sure that Xavier is going to stay with the family."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I just..." I trailed off, sighing. "I want to meet him. I want to hold him, hear him call me Papa. I want to see him with my own eyes." I blinked back tears.

When I fell in love with Rose and turned down Tasha's offer, I'd resigned to never having children, as Roza and I couldn't have them together. To know that we _could_ have children and _did_, well, it added a whole new level of hurt. I wanted to meet him, meet my little boy so badly, it was like acid in my heart, a yearning so deep it was slowly poisoning me.

Viktoria's hand on my arm pulled me back form my thoughts. "You will, Dimka. It's like Roza is always telling Xavier – you two will meet, and that's a promise." She gave me a sympathetic smile.

I nodded. "Thank you, sister."

Viktoria squeezed my hand, then pulled away. "I have to go to my shift now. Take care." We walked out of the apartment together, then parted ways. While she went to guard, I went to the gym, hoping to get rid of this pain.

* * *

><p>I fell into bed that night, completely and utterly exhausted from working out. I was asleep for what seemed like only a few minutes when the cabin, our cabin, formed around me.<p>

Adrian appeared in front of me. He glanced around, curiously. "Hm. I don't know if I'm going to let you choose the destination next time. It's a bit awkward appearing in your little love nest. Especially since it seems as though you just evacuated the bed."

I glanced at it, and saw Adrian was right. The blankets were rumple and twisted around, a pillow laying on the floor. I could see something that looked like Roza's shirt halfway under the bed. I flushed. "You can change it any time, you know."

Adrian nodded and the room shifted to the church. I raised an eyebrow. "So you leave my love nest and go to Christian's? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Adrian gave a short laugh. "My bad. Here, how about this?" The room shifted once more and we were in his room. "There you go."

Silence settled between us. Though Adrian and I had overcome our differences over the last three years, there was still awkwardness between us.

"So," he started conversationally. "Rumor has it that our feisty Rose is coming back."

I bit back an aggravated growl. "I don't know. That's what Vika thinks."

Adrian didn't say anything for a moment. "What will she be like?" he wonder out loud suddenly.

I sighed. "She seemed happy in the pictures and videos," I said softly. As peculiar as it was, Adrian had become the only person I could truly confide in. Maybe it was because he alone, out of everyone in the group, knew about Roza and I. After I'd come back from visiting my family, it was he who had found me in a rare moment of weakness in the gym, thereby finding out about Xavier. I now understood why Roza was such good friends with him. He was easy to talk to and didn't judge.

"Yeah, but I'm sure she wasn't nearly as happy as she appeared," Adrian pointed out.

I sighed again. "I know. She was sad, actually. I could see that too."

"I hope she comes back," Adrian said quietly. "Not for me, but for you and your son."

I swallowed tears. "I hope so," I said faintly. I turned away. "Can I go back? Please?"

"Yeah, sure." The spirit dream dissolved around me, plunging me into the blankness of a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I awoke to darkness. I lay in bed for several moments before gathering the strength to get up. My body felt worn down and tired already, and the day hadn't even begun.<p>

I ran my hands over my face, trying to rub away the mood. It stayed.

I went through my morning routine in a stupor, dread dragging my body down. I trudged to Vasilisa's room, knowing as soon as I started my shift, there would be no escape.

It was only a couple of hours into my shift when the knock sounded. My shifts were generally easy, as Vasilisa found it unfair for guardians to stand still and invisible, and usually invited us inside the room. The shifts were mostly nothing more than a gathering of friends.

Viktoria perked up and hurriedly opened the door. Whatever she saw on the other side forced to go out, closing the door firmly behind her. I frowned, wondering if there was danger. Surely if there was she would have indicated so?

Everyone turned to stare at the as whispers could be vaguely discerned.

"Anyone hear what's being said?" Christian finally spoke up.

Vasilisa and Adrian shook their heads. After a couple of minutes, Viktoria popped back in, followed by a tall Guardian.

The man introduced himself as Guardian Pavel with a deep bow to Vasilisa. I was surprised but not really; Pavel seemed like an experienced guardian. And then from behind him, _she_ stepped out. Roza.

She looked unchanged, but as I scrutinized her, I could see a difference. As Lissa jumped on her, I could see her whole body stiffen and tense. I knew part of it was to keep from falling back, but as she didn't lift a single finger to return Lissa's hug, I knew it was something deeper.

When Lissa stepped back and I caught sight of her face, it took everything within me to not gasp in horror.

She looked so broken and empty, as if someone had torn her heart and soul out. There was a gaunt expression on her face, one that I don't think anyone else noticed. The coldness in her voice was the result of dislike but a complete lack of emotion.

As her eyes swept the room, I noticed the lean appearance to her body. She had clearly been working out. Not a single ounce of baby fat remained. In fact, she seemed even more built and gorgeous than the last time I saw her.

Her hair was still long, from what I could tell, as it was up in a harsh bun. Then her eyes met mine.

All the breath was sucked out of me as I stared into her dark brown eyes. I could help the love that flooded through me, followed by pain.

The agony in her eyes, the absolute hopelessness tore at my heart. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her, hold her tight and never let her go. I felt my body lean toward her and had to physically restrain myself from running to her. Hope burst in my chest; she was here. _She was here, right here, in front of me. _There was a chance that I hadn't lost her forever. In that moment, I didn't care for the reasons behind her leaving; all I cared about was the fact that she was here now. I could see her leaning towards me too, and thought for a brief second that she was going to come to me. The thought shatter as _Pavel _touched her arm and pulled her attention away from me.

A rushing sound in my ears blocked off all words she spoke before leaving. My heart pounded in my chest as if I had just run for ten miles. I felt light headed and thought I was going to pass out.

Shock crashed in waves upon me. Shock that I saw her, shock at the changes in her. And happiness - she was here now, and everything would be alright.

"Dimitri?" Adrian's voice broke through my thoughts.

I blinked hazily. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Adrian's brow furrowed with concern.

I gave a jerky nodded. "Fine." I knew around me, everyone was discussing Rose's appearance, but I could focus on nothing but my own mind. I knew it was terrible for a guardian to be so distracted, but I couldn't help it. My Roza was here, just feet away. She was no longer a full half of a world away, in a different country, on a different continent. She was close by, within reach. I vowed in that moment that I would get my Roza back, the consequences be damned.

* * *

><p>AN: Wow! Not as long as the previous chapter, but I figured everyone would be interested in seeing Dimitri's view on all of this. I know I was. What do you think of his friendship with Adrian? His vow to himself? Review, review, review!

Thank you for reviewing to the following people:** Dragons-Twilight1992, J **(Seneca. Well...you'll see :D), **Natyc, Kay1a **(thank you! :D), **Bookworm695, RozaRocks **(I know :'( I teared up writing Xavier leave too :/ She will...eventually :D), **Do'B **(well, technically speaking, someone else is forcing Rose to leave. Seneca is simply the executioner. Rose being back...she's under Abe's protection, as is shown by her being with his guardian. It's kind of a declaration of war, in a way. Sorry I didn't make that clear :P It's in hopes that they will stay away and lessen the chance of them being hurt. Like, if she shows she's "staying away" in her own way, then Seneca won't do anything. Tehe, you'll see soon(;) **Dimka's chick **(mmhmm :'(), and **bboop12**.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own VA. I do own the plotline, Xavier, and Seneca, though :D

_I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again,_

_I put my hands up,_

_I'll do everything different,_

_I'll be better to you,_

_I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again,_

_I put my hands up,_

_I'll be somebody different,_

_I'll be better to you_

_- I'll be waiting, Adele_

RPOV:

I managed to make it through the week before going to Lehigh with minimal contact with the gang. It hurt my heart to avoid them, but I hoped against hope that my cold attitude toward them would show that I didn't care for them, and make them less of targets for Seneca to hurt. It was a slim chance that it would actually work, but I was grasping at straws here.

Once we got to Lehigh, I knew things would get much more tricky. Abe had forged papers and paid people off so that I could attend with Lissa. Someone would do my homework for me, some human Abe had threatened or paid, whichever, so that I could focus solely on guarding Lissa. I was now even more fiercely protective of her. I took on any shift I could, keeping watch through her head whenever I wasn't with her. There was no way I was letting Seneca hurt my best friend, my bondmate, my sister. I knew Dimitri could take care of himself, as could Christian, but I still watched over them. It was easy to keep track of Christian, as he was more often than not with Lissa, and Viktoria was with him. I worried that Viktoria could be hurt now, too, but I hoped that my lessons had taught her enough to keep the both of them safe. Adrian I wasn't really worried about. He was, after all, Tatiana's nephew. You would be very gutsy to hurt him. I didn't think Seneca would do anything, as she would lose any favor of the queen she now had.

I dreaded going to Lehigh. I would be forced to sleep in the same room as Lissa, while Christian and Dimitri were just down the hall, Viktoria also nearby. How Dimitri managed to get into Lehigh, I wasn't sure, but he did. Thank God Lissa had only one more year.

I talked to my father and my son on the daily basis, just as he promised. I missed my Xavier so much that I ended up in tears after every call. It tore me inside to her his little voice; my arms ached to hold him as he told me he missed me. We'd video chatted a couple of times, but it wasn't the same. I wanted my son back. I wanted my family whole.

I'd called the Belikovs a couple of times, too. Viktoria and I made a video call together once. I was afraid hanging out with Viktoria would endanger her, so I tried to avoid her at all costs.

Luckily, she understood my situation and wasn't too hurt.

We had to drive to Lehigh, and since the SUVs we took only seated five people, I was happily the loner in the second car, filled with everyone's luggage. I drove behind the first car, unsure of where I was going. I dreaded arriving to the school.

My phone rang and I automatically answered, my headset already in place.

"Hathaway," I said.

"Good morning, Kiz," Abe's voice rumbled on the other end.

I relaxed infinitesimally. "Hey, Dad. How are you? How's Xavier?"

"Fine, fine," Dad assured me. "I just figured I would check up on you while you have the chance to talk, before you have to really focus on guarding."

I nodded, even though he could see me. "Thanks," I said warmly. "So how are things?" It was nice to be able to talk to him, to not have to edit what I was saying or watch my tone. It was nice to take off the mask I had to maintain with everyone else.

"Perfectly fine," Dad repeated. "Xavier is raising hell as usual."

I chuckled. "Any news on who's behind all of this?"

Dad sighed. "No," he growled. "Seneca is doing a damn good job of hiding it. Makes me wonder what;s in it for her."

I sighed. "I just want this over," I said wearily.

"I know, kiz, I know. So do I." In the background, I heard a little voice saying something, and my spirits lifted. "Your darling son would like to talk to you," Dad announced.

I smiled. "Put him on, would you?" Though it hurt to have to hang up, I loved talking to Xavier; it was the highlight of my day.

After a bit of shuffling, I heard Xavier's voice. "Hi, Momma."

"Hi, Xavy," I said, warmth filling my voice. "How are you? Are you being good for Grandpa?"

"Uh huh," he said, and I had the image of him nodding his head appear in my mind. "When are you coming home, Momma?"

Xavier asked me this question every time we talked.

I sighed. "I don't know, baby. I'll be there for your birthday." I gave him the same response as always.

"Okay," he said, his voice sad. "I visited Grandma last night."

"Oh really? How was it?"

"It was really fun. How is Daddy?"  
>I smiled. "Daddy is fine. He said 'hi.'" Viktoria had talked to Dimitri, then to me, becoming a sort of messenger between us. Of course, no direct messages were sent, but Dimitri often asked about his son, questions I felt obliged to answer. He often had little message for Xavier, an interesting workaround we had come up with just recently. This was the first time I was sending one. "He said he couldn't wait to meet you."<p>

"Really?" I'd never given a message to Xavier from Dimitri before and the excitement in his voice warmed my heart.

"Mmhmm," I replied.

"Tell Daddy I really, really love him and that I can't wait to meet him too. Tell him that I've been a good boy, especially for him. I was good for you too Mommy, but specially for Daddy, too, so that he can be proud. Tell him I'm a cowboy, just like him. Tell him I can't wait to talk to him. I wanna see him. I wanna tell him I love him. I wanna see him." Xavier rambled on about how much he wanted to see Dimitri and what he would tell him, interjecting his sentences with 'and tell Daddy.'

Hearing him say all that made the familiar ache begin pushing at the backs of my eyes ad I knew the tears weren't far away. Never before had I cried so much, until I had Xavier. It was as if giving birth to him had awakened all those messy emotions I'd kept dormant.

"Okay, Xavier," I cut in. "I'll tell him everything." Or, well, have Viktoria tell him everything. Same difference. _No it's not, _a voice whispered. _It makes a big difference. _I ignored it.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Yes, I promise," I assured him.

"Thanks, Momma."

"You're welcome, love," I said, my voice soft to hide the pain I was feeling. I heard shuffling on the other end, and Dad's voice.

"Grandpa says I have to go, Momma," Xavier said, sounding sad.

I smiled gently. "I understand. I need to go too, little man. I love you. Stay safe," I said.

"Okay Momma. I love you too. You stay safe too," Xavier replied. "Bye, Momma.

"Bye, sweetheart." Xavier handed the phone to Abe. After a brief conversation, we said goodbye and hung up.  
>I stopped at a red light, leaning my head on the steering wheel. Tears slid silently down my face. Talking to Xavier killed me a little on the inside. No, that wasn't right; talking to Xavier lifted my spirits and made my heart swell, but hanging up on him made everything plummet into a deep crevasse of despair I had to crawl out of my filling it with tears.<p>

Unfortunately, now was not the time.

I pulled myself together just in time for the light to turn green. Sighing, I pulled forward, thankful that we still had another hour until we reached Lehigh, dreadful that the journey was coming to an end.

* * *

><p>That night, once we were all settled in, Lissa lay awake, staring at her ceiling. She wanted to talk to me, but she didn't know what to say. I lay awake also, not that I needed to be. I knew Pavel was outside guarding, and two of Abe's guardians were patrolling outside our dorm building. I was afraid, though, that if I closed my eyes, Lissa wouldn't be there when I woke up.<p>

"Rose?" Lissa said hesitantly, her quivering voice carrying through the darkness to me. "Why are you being so...mean to me?" She sounded near tears. "Why don't you love me anymore?"

I closed my eyes briefly, trying to shut out the wave of sorrow and pain that flowed through me. How I wanted to tell her the truth. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, I was simply afraid. I knew what would happen the moment the words crossed my lips; Christian would know, then Adrian, followed by Dimitri. I didn't know who was after me. If more people knew, there was a danger of it getting out, and the person would get even more cautious, and I would lose any chance of finding them. I didn't want to scare Lissa, either. If I said it out loud, it would be true; I would be admitting that I would be able to guard her, that I was helpless, that I was useless. Selfish as it was, I would rather Lissa think I no longer loved her than know the truth: that I loved her, but was too pathetic to protect her.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for her response, making sure the wall between us was impenetrable. "I do not need to love you or show you affection to guard you, Princess," I said coldly.

I felt her flinch, despite my best efforts. Her pain was so great that it blew my wall into smithereens. A sob sounded in the silence. Never before had I said it so blatantly. Never before had I all but said that I no longer loved her.

"Why, Rose? Why?"

I stayed silent. Maybe she would ask for me to be reassigned. I'd never considered that before. What would the results be? Would Seneca leave her alone? Or would she assume that I was weak and Lissa was now free game? I didn't know. I didn't know anything, and that terrified me beyond any reasonable thought. For a moment, I lay there, unable to move, unable to breath, unable to think past my fear. _No. Anything but that,_ I pleaded to anyone listening.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice fragile. "I'm sorry."

Lissa continued to cry.

* * *

><p>The next morning found us tired and bleary eyed. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep until Lissa did, and her pain carried her tears until well into the next morning, resulting in neither of us getting enough sleep.<p>

Christian took one look at her and wrapped his arms around her, glaring at me. Somehow, he knew I was the cause of her tears, although it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

I stayed silent, watching the area, as Christian comforted her with words I didn't care to know. While they were distracted, I sidled over to Viktoria and slipped her a note, on the front of which stated 'DESTROY ASAP' in bold letters. It contained Xavier's message to Dimitri. I moved back into my position just as Lissa pulled herself together.

"Okay, let's go to breakfast, then class," she said, faux cheerfully.

I gave a stiff nodded, guardian mask firmly in place. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Viktoria frowning at me. She didn't entirely agree with my method of protecting everyone, mainly because it hurt her brother, but she never said anything.

* * *

><p>Classes dragged on. Despite focusing fiercely on protecting Lissa, I often found myself drifting off; nothing fun ever happened in classes.<p>

In my high school years, I always talked, finding a way to make myself the center of attention. Now that every guy was staring at me, awestruck by my beauty, I wanted nothing more than to fade off into the background. I had no need for attention; you would think that after not speaking or making any kind of noise in every class period people would get the hint. Sadly, not everyone did; I still had people approaching me, trying to engage me in a conversation. They usually stopped after I stare at them blankly the entire time, not opening my mouth.

Waves of disapproval from Lissa hit me, but she never broached the topic, choosing to completely ignore me. Somehow, that hurt more than constantly rebuking her attempts at conversation; she had clearly given up. That killed me even more. By end of this, there would be nothing left of me but a shell.

* * *

><p>Barely a week passed when the unthinkable happened.<p>

I was wandering the campus by myself, contemplating asking Hans to give Lissa more guardians. It would ensure her safety, but at school, it would raise unneeded suspicious. I couldn't figure out a legitimate reason for her to have guardians, either. I could only hope that Abe's guardians were enough.

Soft footfalls in the August grass caught my attention. I glanced around, realising I had walked myself into a little alcove, away from...everything. My eyes sharpened, taking in each detail as my ears strained to pick up any sound. A chill of foreboding flutter down my spine, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps.

A shadow in the trees caught my eye and a strange sense of déjà vu settled over me. It was so like the time Dimitri had found Lissa and I that I thought I was back there again.

But then the man stepped out of the shadows and I saw he was nothing like Dimitri. I relaxed slightly; I'd been expecting Strigoi. The sun was lowering, creating long shadows, like the ones where I was now. I could handle a human no problem.

Looking at him, though, made me realise he wasn't a human, but a dhampir. My defenses slammed back and I prepared myself to fight, just as another body joined the first, followed by a third, a fourth, a fifth.

A sink feeling formed in my stomach. The five dhampirs completely surrounded me, all males, all taller, bigger than me. _Shit._

Before I could think anything beyond that, they all attacked simultaneously, as if by a secret signal.

I jumped into action as well, kicking, punching, scratching if necessary. The sheer power of these guardians overwhelmed me. These weren't normal guardians; they were assassins.

Five minutes after the initial attack, two guardians were holding my arms while a third continued punching me.

"Stay away from them," he snarled. "If you don't leave, it's not going to be you in this situation, but your darling Dimitri. And these won't be punches but stabs!"

He was halfway through his next swinging when another body knocked into him.

Startled, the two men holding me tightened their holds, looking around. I looked up to see Dimitri taking on the three dhampirs not holding me – and winning. _Double shit,_ I thought, panicked. Under no circumstances could I allow these men to observe Dimitri and his fighting style. If they did, they would know his weaknesses and take him out that much easier. Now that three attackers were away from me, I fought my hold. I was unsuccessful – until a third person join us. Pavel. Now that the odds were much better, with three against five, I let all the pent up darkness I received from Lissa out.

Jumping in front of Dimitri, I pushed him back as I kicked out at his opponents. Another attacker disappeared as Viktoria joined us. I kept all the dhampirs away from Dimitri, protecting him, fighting for him. Every time he got near, I shoved him away, grunting as the little distraction allowed me to be hit. But I would gladly take any hit for Dimitri to be safe.

This fight lasted even less that the initial one. Realising they were wasting time, the attackers all backed away.  
>The leader stared into my eyes as I crouched in front of Dimitri. "Remember," he hissed. "Remember what will happen."<p>

Then they all ran. I could see Pavel tensing to fight and put a hand on his arm. He looked at me, then at them, then at me again before straightening with some difficulty. I knew he had wanted to chase them, but duty, duty to me and Lissa, kept him here.

"Rose, check on Lissa," Viktoria said frantically.

"Call Abe!" Pavel snapped. "He needs to know."

"You gotta check on Lissa," Viktoria insisted.

"Hush, both of you." I opened myself to Lissa, slipping into her mind for a brief second. Only long enough to make sure she was okay before coming back.

"Fine," I told Viktoria, already dialing Abe's number.

"Rose, are you okay?" Dimitri asked, concern shining out of his eyes.

My eyes widened. "Am I fine? I'm perfect! Are you okay?" I bit off more words, trying not to show how much I cared. It was too dangerous, especially with the warning still ringing in my ears. An image of Dimitri in the hands of two thugs, like I was, being stabbed repeatedly, caused a fission of fear to nestle in my heart. Seneca wasn't joking.  
>"Mazur." Before Dimitri had the chance to answer, Dad's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.<p>

I backed away a little, Pavel shadowing my steps. "Dad, hey. We were attacked. Five. Dimitri jumped in, then Pavel and Viktoria," I reported. "They were all males, taller and bigger than me. I was told that if I didn't leave, Dimitri would be captured and stabbed to death."

Quiet static was all I received. Then, a bunch of Turkish, which I assumed were swear words.

"You will be receiving five guardians in the morning. Don't argue, unless you _want_ Dimitri to end up being stabbed."

I didn't argue.

"Keep your phone on you at all times. You will get a panic button too," he added.

"Panic button?" I questioned.

"Yes, you'll get a thing that looks like a flashlight. Press the top button and a signal with your location with come to the phone of every one of your guardians. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," I said. I wasn't going to argue with any safety measures he was insisting on. If I was safe, that meant the people around me were safe.

"You're not arguing?" Abe sounded astonished.

I explained my reasoning.

"Good point," Abe agreed.

Silence.

"Now, go take care of the mess that was created. Stay safe. Bye." Abe hung up abruptly.

"Well?" Pavel said, scowling.

I sighed. "I get five guardians and a panic button," I relayed.

Pavel gave a single nod. "Now let's go take care of the mess," I said.

We walked back over to where Viktoria and Dimitri were waiting.

"Well?" Viktoria asked.

I glanced at Dimitri and shook my head. Viktoria scowled. "Whatever," she muttered and walked away.

"Rose? What the hell is going on?" Dimitri snapped, glaring at Pavel.

I pressed my lips together. "Nothing that is concerning -"

"The hell it isn't!" Dimitri snarled. "You were just attacked by five guardians who looked intent on seriously maiming you, and the came with a message. I think that's a bit concerning."

"-concerning _you_," I finished my sentence coldly.

Dimitri opened his mouth, pulling out a piece of paper. I realised what it was.

"Dammit, Vika," I swore. I pulled myself up to my full height and gave Dimitri my Mazur glare. Not my Hathaway glare, my Mazur glare. "There is nothing here that is concerning you, _Guardian Belikov. _If I wanted to tell you what was happening, I would do so. But until you are a part of my situation, you _will __not _question me. What is happening does _not_ include you. Thank you for helping me," I said frostily. "It wasn't necessary."

Spinning around, I walked away from the two men.

I knew I didn't need to be so cold, but the attack had shaken me. Never before had Seneca taken such a proactive action against me. I was scared out of my wits. I didn't know what to expect next.

* * *

><p>AN: Soo...sorry about the long wait. I got sick, then school got in the way, then I couldn't get onto my ff account :P What you all think? Oh, and just a heads up...a lot of you will probably want to stop reading this story once you reach, oh, say, chapter fifteen. Because I will be a terrible person and allow something terrible to happen. Please don't give up. There is a method to my madness, I promise! I'll put a warning before said chapter, so if you see an A/N, please read it. I won't post the chapter until I'm sure everyone has read it, okay? But that's not for a while, so enjoy :D

**Edit: Xavier's middle name is now Dmitrievich. It's a Russian thing :P**

Thank you for reviewing to the following people: **J **(Sorry...:/ WA is kind of on hold. No way can I focus on that while I'm writing this. I might update it, but I wanna finish this first. As for Tasha being the culprit...you'll have to see(:), **bboop12** (it explains a bit more in this chapter. Makes sense?), **ClauIloveDimitriBelikov, Dragons-Twilight1992, Kay1a **(yeah, but killing Seneca won't do you any good. It's like killing the executioner all that will happen is the people wanting to kill you will get a new one :P),** RozaRocks **(I really wanted Dimitri to hug her too 3 Thank you! And...you'll see (;),** Bookworm695, Dimka's chick, Do'B** (I like Adrian too. He plays a big part...sadly. More on that later. As for the guardian...it was the man Seneca planted. Viktoria knew that, because she was with the Belikovs still when Rose found out. Hehe, she's a doing a good job...so far (; And the person calling the shots certainly is getting antsy...You'll see who it is in a very little bit :P), **Kcripep, Guest, Chelsea Jay** (like I said, the position is still open(;),** XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX, chinita1** (I wanted to update it once I got your review, but I was delayed :P Hope you liked this chapter(: Sleep better!), **Victoria Marie Dragomir **(thanks(:).


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but Seneca, Xavier, and the plotline :D

_I'm waiting for the night drifting away_

_On the waves of my dreams to another day_

_I'm standing on a hill and beyond the clouds_

_The winds blowing still and catching my doubts_

_I'm hunting on the night the slave to my dream an illustrated scene descends in the steam_

_We're playing for the fights emotional games_

_I'm turning off my eyes and hiding my shame_

_A neverending dream a dream of you I believe I received a sign of you_

_tonight I want to hide my feelings too_

_as you do and I want to be with you_

_-A Neverending Dream, Cascada_

RPOV:

After the attack, Abe and Seneca seemed to reach a bit of a stalemate. She couldn't outright attack us without attracting unwanted attention and Abe couldn't hurt _her_ because he didn't have anyone _to _hurt. I knew for a fact that Seneca attempted several attacks, but with the guardians of the Moroi who attended Lehigh, she was stopped before anyone could get hurt. While it was nice to be able to not have to fight off attackers every day, I knew that this was just the calm before the storm.

Lehigh let school off for Thanksgiving, a useless holiday in my eyes. However, I didn't care. Lissa was back in the relative safety of the Court, where I could guard her all the time and not get weird looks. That's exactly what I did. I never left Lissa's side; by the end of the two week vacation, I thought Lissa would hire an assassin herself. As long as she was safe, I didn't care how irritated she was.

I knew Dimitri had noticed my fierce protectiveness. He would watch me silently, tracking my every move. I could feel his eyes on me; it took everything in me to not react.

After Thanksgiving vacation, we only had two weeks of classes, and those were filled with finals. Though I didn't have to take any of the tests, I still had to make it appear as if I was, so I had to suffer through hours of no speaking while everyone else struggled. It was utterly boring and I was in danger of falling asleep the entire time.

Finally, all the tests were done and we were free to go to the winter holidays. That's when things got tricky.

Most people didn't know where Lissa was going for the month long holiday, but enough knew that it was risky.

We would be staying at Tasha's house for the entire month, because it was something of a tradition. The moment I found out, I had Abe do checks, dig deep into Tasha's life to see if she was the culprit. She came up clean, but I still didn't trust her, not after she tried to take my Dimitri from me. _He's not _your _Dimitri, _that voice hissed. Once more, I ignored it.

I was painfully aware that Xavier's birthday was in just two days. I hoped to be situated at Tasha's before quietly slipping away for a couple of days. Abe was flying the whole family over and we would rent out some cabin for several days, so that I could visit the family, then once I was gone, Dimitri could too. I decided that it would be too dangerous for Dimitri to meet Xavier just yet, so Abe would go home with Xavier before Dimitri saw him.

I sighed wistfully; I'd hoped Dimitri could meet Xavier, but resolved that it wasn't going to happen. I swore that Xavier would meet Dimitri before his fourth birthday, though.

Once again, I was the loner in the car; this time, though, we had several cars trailing us. When I would be gone, Abe was going to place a couple of extra guardians in my place. It was all very complicated and made my head ache, but nothing could be done about it at the moment.

Arriving at Tasha's house was a bit surreal. She had a lake house, which was ironic seeing as she was a fire user. The house was homey, filled with love and caring. Stepping inside, I was transported briefly to the Belikov's house. The thought made my heart throb with pain.

Since we had arrived late, still on the human schedule, we had only time to bring our luggage in and get settled into our respective rooms before everyone fell into bed.

Tasha's house wasn't huge, meaning Lissa and Christian would be sharing a room, as would Pavel and Viktoria, Dimitri and I. The mentality was that while one guardian slept, the other would be doing rounds. There was only one bed in each guest room, making things awkward. I guess Tasha was trying to help her old friend out by sticking us in the same room.

I called first watch, unable to sleep. Tasha's house had wards around it, but I knew that wouldn't deter any guardian wishing to harm us.

Adrian was at Court and would be joining us in about two weeks. I had no idea where he would stay; probably on the couch. According to Lissa, Adrian was trying to get a guardian – Eddie in particular. I didn't know what to make of that. As much as I would love to have another friend guarding by my side, I was afraid he would get hurt too.

I ended my watch as the sun was coming over the horizon. I trudged back into the house, half asleep, to shake Dimitri awake.

"Hey, Comrade," I mumbled, too tired to hold up my façade. It was going on forty hours since I last slept. "Get up, you got next watch."

Dimitri rolled out of bed, looking concerned. "Roza, how long have you been awake?"  
>I shrugged tiredly and pulled off my shirt, not caring in the least that he was watching. "I dunno, forty hours or so?"<p>

"Roza!" he chastised gently. He rifled through my suitcase and pulled out one of his shirts that I'd kept as I sat listless on the bed. "Here." He started to help me into it when I waved him away.

"Go guard," I mumbled, struggling out of my jeans. I reached behind myself and unhooked my bra. Hearing a sharp gasp, I looked up and realised Dimitri was still there – and now staring at my bare chest. I simply sighed, too tired to even be embarrassed. "Go!" I pulled the shirt over my head, and heard the door close softly.

Once I was sure he was gone, I settled into the pillows, inhaling the wonderful scent of Dimitri.

* * *

><p>I rolled out of bed the next morning, after sleeping a solid nine hours. Okay, so it wasn't morning by then, more like afternoon, but I needed the sleep.<p>

I walked out to the kitchen, following a wonderful smell. The sight that met my eyes made me want to forget all about threats and why I shouldn't be around him. Dimitri was cooking something on stove..._shirtless._

The breath was knocked out of me. All I could do was stare at his muscled back. Biting back a moan, I somehow managed to turn away just as he looked at me.

"Who is on watch?" I asked, my voice coming out slightly husky. I winced internally. _Crap._

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "Pavel is."

I avoided looking at him. "Shouldn't you like, put on a shirt or something?" I mumbled.

I could see him shrug out of the corner of my eye. "It's too hot by the stove to wear one," he explained.

"Oh," I mumbled back.

The phone ringing interrupted any further conversation. Before either of us could answer it, Tasha flew into the room. "I've got it!" She picked it up hurriedly. "Hello? Yes...Yes...Okay, sounds good. I will, yes. Great. See you then. Bye." She turned back to us, her whole face radiant with excitement. "Rose, you have watch right after dinner, then you'll be in for a good night's sleep. Dimitri told me about your long day – days, really – yesterday. You only got a few hours of sleep last night, so you will have the watch after lunch tomorrow, okay?" She was practically bouncing with excitement.

I frowned. "Oh, well, I was hoping...I mean, I might not be here for a couple of days," I said awkwardly, unsure of how to act. This entire stay so far has been messing with my mind.

"Well, all the more reason for you to have a good night's sleep," Tasha insisted.

"Okay..." I wasn't really sure how to respond, but something told me that arguing would bring up questions I didn't want to answer.

The rest of the day was a tense affair on my end. I spent every moment I could guarding, not having a moment of respite. I was paranoid, feeling like someone was watching me. Rational me knew it was nothing more than the guardians keeping us safe, but paranoid me was sure it was the enemy.

I went to bed exhausted that night. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

* * *

><p>I woke up groggy the next morning. Too much sleep that I wasn't used to weighed down my lids. Stumbling out to the kitchen, I followed the smell of bacon and eggs.<p>

Dimitri was sitting at the table while Christian cooked at the stove, nowhere near as pleasant a sight as Dimitri cooking. I collapsed on a chair and Dimitri slid over a cup of cocoa. I gave him a nod of thanks whilst yawning violently.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, alert to the fact that no one else was here.

"Lissa decided to sleep in, Pavel is outside doing rounds with Viktoria and Tasha is doing something in the living room. She's not letting anyone in," Christian rattled off. "I'm assuming we should expect guests, since she went out and bought a store this morning."

Glancing around, I realised what he meant. The cupboards were so stuffed they were bulging, the fruit bowl in the middle of the table was refilled, and random boxes, cans, and jars littered the countertop.

"Huh," I muttered. "Interesting."

Christian set a plate of food in front of me. "Eat up," he said, surprisingly nice.

I decided to not comment. My careful control was already slipping, and I'd been here less than two days.

Halfway through my breakfast, there was a knock on the door. Before any of us could answer it, Tasha shot into the room, screaming, "I've got it!"

I shot up myself. "Wait, Tasha, it could be dangerous!" I cautioned her.

Tasha paused, glancing back at me. "Oh, no, it's fine. The wards are up, I'm sure."

She began going towards the door again, but I cut in front of her. "I need to make sure, Lady Ozera," I said formally, my hand on the doorknob.

"This is my house, and I-"

Her sentence was cut off as I opened the door.

"Surprise!"

I stared, astonished, at the people before me. Olena stood at the front with a wiggling Xavier in her arms. Behind her stood Karolina, Zoya in her arms as Paul stood next to her. Sonya was next to Paul with Anastasia in her arms. At the very back stood Abe and Yeva.

"Mama, Mama!" Xavier said excitedly, wiggling so much I was afraid Olena would drop him.

I took the squirming toddler from her arms. "Xavy!" I said happily, feeling my spirits lift. For a moment, I held my son, happy to be reunited with him. I didn't want to think about the consequences or what would happen now that everything was out. I just wanted these few precious moments with my son, the reality be damned.

"Momma! I missed you so much! I love you!" He gave me sloppy kisses on my checks. I hugged him close to me, peppering kisses all over his head and face.

"Oh, my little boy," I cooed. I turned to the rest of the family. "What are you all doing here?"

Olena grinned. "We figured we'd surprise you," she replied.

I gave her a tight smile. "Well, you certainly did that," I said in a calm voice. I sought out Abe's face, giving him a glare. How dare he put everyone in danger?

Behind me, Tasha called out, "Why don't you all come in? Breakfast is being cooked!"

Well, that explained all the extra food.

"Momma, it's my birthday!" Xavier tugged on my hair gently, gaining my attention.

"I know, love, I know! You're three now!" I smiled down at him, backing into the kitchen to let everyone through.

"Good job, Tasha," Abe praised her. "I knew you would get her to open the door."

I glared at Abe as Tasha smiled proudly. "Abe, how could you?" I asked through gritted teeth as I came up next to him.

"Well, you see, our original plan was compromised, so we needed another place to stay. Don't worry, this is safe. We still traveled here the same way, got into the planned car, drove down the same road, even arrived at the lodge. We just personally took a bit of a detour to get here," he said casually.

I felt myself pale. They were going to sneak attack the Belikovs? In that case, thank God he managed to get them out.

"And so you decided here?" I asked. Xavier leaned his head on my shoulder, silent.

"It was a last minute decision," Abe said defensively.

"And you wanted Seneca to attempt an attack, and find out who it is," I snapped.

Abe looked away, ashamed.

I snorted, disgusted. "I can't believe you would endanger everyone here for your own wants."

Abe turned back to me with his own glare. "You endanger everyone by being here, period," he snarled. Xavier cringed into me. "You have no room to talk. I'm trying to end this shit, okay? I'm sorry I'm putting everyone in even more danger, but the legion of guardians I have guarding this place should keep everyone safe."

I bowed my head, submitting. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry too. I'm just...it's a lot of stress. I have everyone working on this, and other people are starting to move in now that they see I'm distracted, so I have to keep them at bay, and this is all just a huge mess." Abe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "But enough about that. It's Xavier's birthday. Let's stop talking about bad things."

I sighed too. "Okay," I said doubtfully. "What about, you know, _them_?"

Abe smiled slightly. "Don't you think it's time the man knew his son?"

I stared at him wide-eyed as he walked away to thank Tasha. Tell Dimitri about Xavier, have them meet? Armageddon was coming.

* * *

><p>All the extra food Tasha had bought finally made sense. She joined Christian at the stove, cooking enough food for several families.<p>

Pavel and Viktoria came in, relieved from their duties by Abe's guardians. Lissa was brought down by the noise. We finally found out what Tasha had been doing in the living room.

The room was covered in banners and balloons, all declaring 'Happy 3rd Birthday, Xavier!'

Xavier was practically overwhelmed by all of the attention. Everywhere he returned, he saw smiles, heard praises.

"It's just like birthday at home," he told me jubilantly. "So much fun!"

After brunch and presents, everyone went outside to play in the snow that covered the yard. Thankfully it was warmer than it was yesterday so the snow was good packing snow. We had an epic snowball battle, forts and all. Then Viktoria, Paul, Anastasia, and I helped Xavier build a snowman as everyone else watched on.

The entire day, Dimitri watched Xavier with utter fascination. I decided, as everyone came in for dinner, that it was time to introduce the two.

As everyone settled in the living room, waiting for Tasha, Olena, and Christian to finish dinner, I approached Dimitri, Xavier in my arms.

"Can I talk to you? Privately?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

Dimitri nodded and I lead him to our room. Once there, I sat down with Xavier watching everything solemnly on my lap.

"You – you might want to sit," I stuttered.

Dimitri sat down next to me, about a foot away and twisted his body to face mine. I swallowed nervously. How the hell was I supposed to do this?!

"This is Xavier," I said in a small voice, holding him out. "Xavier, this is...your father."

It was like something had exploded. Xavier cried out happily, "Daddy!" and jumped into his arms. Dimitri caught him deftly and hugged him close.

"Oh, my sweet little son," he murmured in Russian. "My little boy."

They clung to each other, tears in their eyes, and mine. The moment was so bittersweet I could taste. Father and son stared at each other, cataloging similarities and differences, changes.

"Papa, I've been really good for you. Will you stay with us?" Xavier asked in his sweet little voice.

I saw Dimitri swallow then raise his eyes to mine. "Yes, Xavier, I'll stay with you. Forever."

I turned away, hiding my tears. I had no idea whether it was possible for us to be a family or not, with the sword hanging over my head, just waiting for the wrong move. But looking at the two of them now, I could find the will to tear them apart. Somehow or other, Dimitri would be part of Xavier life, regardless of what Seneca thought.

* * *

><p>Unknown POV:<p>

She drummed her fingers impatiently as she waited for the phone to be picked up. As soon as it was, she didn't even wait for a greeting. "Why the fuck is that bitch still there?" she snapped.

"She's a persistent bitch, what can I say?" the voice on the other end drawled.

She sighed, frustrated. "I want her out finally!"

"Relax, all in due time."

"I am giving you access to fucking Mazur's daughter! What more do you want?" she growled.

"It's proving a bit tricky. He is much more protective of her than I imagined."

"I told you, God dammit! He fucking loves that little piece of shit," she growled. "Why don't you just kill her?"

"Because then I won't have any leverage over Abe. And despite what you think, I would rather not have the wrath of Abe Mazur upon me. Don't worry, his love will make it that much more sweet when I get her," the voice cackled.

"Oh, yes, she's daddy's little girl. Well, hurry up with it. I don't give a damn if she's cut up in a body bag somewhere. I want her out. Then _I'll _be the favorite girl."

"I need someone on the inside," the voice muttered. "I'll see what I can do."

"Good. Hurry." _Click._

* * *

><p>AN: Well, that took a little longer than I thought it would. Sorry! What do you think? Oh, and in a couple of chapters, I will be posting an A/N. Please, please, please heed it. I don't want people yelling at me and hating on my story because they didn't see anything this bad coming. I want no hating. You have been warned.

Thank you to the following people for reviewing: **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (feel better now(:),** Dragons-Twilight1992**,** J** (yeah, I know. And happy belated birthday! :D The person behind all of this, well, the reason she is doing all of this will shock you :3),** KrystalKittyBelikova** (ooh, thanks! Haha(: Well, here's another one! :D),** Kay1a **(I know...soon, though, soon!),** natalyc, RozaRocks **(Well, she's getting closer to telling everyone! Who knows, maybe she'll even break in the next chapter (;),** Daddys little crazy bitch, bboop12, Victoria Marie Dragomir** (someone new (;), **chinita1** (haha, it's okay(:),** XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX, **and** thunder and molnija **(oh, you have impeccable timing! I was just putting the A/N when I got your review! :D).


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own VA :P

_T__here's a place that I know  
>It's not pretty there and few have ever gone<br>If I show it to you now  
>Will it make you run away?<br>Or will you stay  
>Even if it hurts<br>Even if I try to push you out  
>Will you return?<br>And remind me who I really am  
>Please remind me who I really am<em>

_Everybody's got a dark side_  
><em>Do you love me?<em>  
><em>Can you love mine?<em>  
><em>Nobody's a picture perfect<em>  
><em>But we're worth it<em>  
><em>You know that we're worth it<em>  
><em>Will you love me?<em>  
><em>Even with my dark side?<em>

_-Dark Side, Kelly Clarkson_

Unknown POV:

Adrian ambled down a deserted hall in Court. It was late at night – well, day. Sunlight shone through windows placed strategically to give a peek at the outside world. He had stayed late at a party that day, and was just now returning home.

The attempts at getting Eddie as a guardian were proving not so successful thus far. Someone or something was blocking him.

"Adrian..." a singsong voice called out from a shadowed doorway.

Adrian blinked, his brow furrowing as he approached it. Something told him he really shouldn't, but his status as the queen's favorite nephew had gotten him into the habit of thinking no one would dare hurt him. Use him, yes, but not hurt him physically.

He approached the little alcove curiously. Just as he reached it, someone grabbed him from behind. A sharp gasp was torn from between his lips as he felt the cool sharpness of a blade at his neck.

"Adrian..." the singsong voice sounded again. Out of the shadows, Seneca Ackes stepped out. "Oh, Adrian, how curious you are." She tilted her head. "That'll be the death of you someday. Maybe even today."

Adrian glared at her, trying to keep his pure fear at bay. "What do you want, Seneca?" he snapped.

Seneca smiled a terrible smile, one that was sharper and more deadly than the knife at his throat. Poisonous. "That's not the way to speak to someone who has your life in the palm of their hand." She clucked her tongue. "Hasn't your Auntie taught you to be polite?"

Adrian sighed. "The point?" he asked in a bored voice. His entire body was tensed, straining away from the blade of the knife pressed to his neck.

Seneca sighed, the smile dropping. "You're no fun. All I want is a teensy tiny favor from you. I want you to bring a friend of mine, Alexia, when you go to meet with your friends, wherever that might be. Alright?"

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And why should I?" he asked, words filled with sarcasm.

Seneca's easy posture changed, straightening and turning hard. Her eyes flashed. "Because if you don't, your precious little dhampir will be on the end of the blade. _Dead._ Understand?"

Adrian's eyes widened with fear. "Y-yes," he stammered, filled with horror. _No. Not Rose._

Seneca smiled once more. "Good. So glad we could come to an understanding. Alexia will meet you in your room shortly before departure. Have fun visiting your friends." Seneca walked away. Once she was out of sight, the blade disappeared from his neck, but he was too frozen with terror to move for several long moments.

_Rose, I am so, so, sorry._

* * *

><p>RPOV:<p>

After Xavier had fallen asleep on Dimitri's chest, we lay in silence. We were laying side by side on the bed. Inches separated us. We were close enough that I could feel the heat emanating from his body. It took everything in me to not close that space, lean my head on his shoulder, and cuddle us together like a real family. The celebration in the rest of the house had died down. I could feel Lissa wondering where I was, along with Dimitri and Xavier. She was also wondering why I'd never told her I had lost my virginity, let alone had a child. And who was the father? I could feel her hurt at the thought that I'd lied to her because I didn't trust her. She wanted to talk to me, but wondered if my horrible treatment of her had been totally honest. I would have to fix that soon.

"Roza," Dimitri said softly, turning his head to look at me.

"Yes?" I whispered back.

"Why did you leave?"

I looked away. I could hardly tell him, but after today, I couldn't keep it from him either.

"Roza, please, tell me," he begged.

I closed my eyes. My defenses were so unbelievably down after today, there was no way I could keep from blurting out everything.

"Roza..." His voice was now a whisper, husky, caressing my skin.

I closed my eyes, shivering delicately. I felt him shift, and then he was touching me.

A shudder ran down my entire body as his hand gently glided across my cheek. He turned my face to his as his thumb stroked my cheek with feather touches. I could feel his warm breath on my lips as he exhaled.

"Roza, my Roza," he crooned softly. "Tell me why."

Tears slid out from beneath my lids. "Because Seneca said she would hurt you and Lissa and everyone else if I didn't," I sobbed out.

His hand froze. I opened my eyes to see his staring wide, horror in them. "We should put Xavier to bed," I murmured.

I sat up and carefully picked up my little boy, hugging him close to my chest. I slid out of bed and stood up. I barely took one step toward the door when I felt Dimitri behind me. He wrapped his arms around the two of us. His hard chest pressed into mine and I barely managed to keep myself from moaning.

"Roza," he breathed in my ear, "I love you. I will do everything to protect you. We will be fine."

I bit back a sob at his words as relief flooded through me. Until this very moment, I never realized how scared I'd been that he would hate me forever, that he wouldn't want to do anything with me due to the danger, that he wouldn't believe me, or that he would think I was a coward.

I spun around and buried my face in his chest, one arm around Xavier while the other clung to his back.

Dimitri made an odd noise, almost like a groan, or a sigh of relief. His arms wrapped around my whole body, one reaching up to touch Xavier's head while the other hooked around my waist. We stayed like that, hugging for a long time. Touching for the first time in almost four years was a heady experience. My whole body thrummed with energy, a charge running between the two of us, like two cables touching.

It wasn't until Xavier stirred in his sleep did we break apart. Even then, Dimitri still kept an arm around my waist.

Opening our door, we stepped out into a house of silence. Everyone had either gone to bed or was out watching the TV.

We crept down the hall to the little bedroom that was about the size of a closet. Tasha had kept it secret from us so that Dimitri and I would be forced to sleep in the same room. The plan had worked out nicely, since it was now Xavier's room. Abe had been kind enough to bring Xavier's crib, which he had one of his guardians set up earlier, along with all of Xavier's luggage. Abe was confident that Seneca had no idea where we were; though Lissa's vacation was almost a habit, she had also considered going to Russia for some sight-seeing, according to Abe. I translated that into Abe spreading a rumor that Lissa was somewhere in Russia and enough people believed it to be fact that she was safe.

I handed Xavier to Dimitri, indicating for him to put Xavier to bed. Dimitri stared at me, wide eyed.

"Are you sure?" he hissed, unsure.

I nodded, smiling encouragingly. Dimitri nodded, looking determined.

He placed Xavier carefully into the crib, then pulled the covers over him. He tucked him in, then whispered something too quietly for me to hear. After pressing a kiss onto his forehead, Dimitri stepped back, gazing at Xavier lovingly.

I leaned into the crib and kissed my sleeping angel on the forehead. "Goodnight, my little man," I murmured, brushing his hair back. "Mommy loves you."

I stood next to Dimitri, simply looking at our son. Dimitri put his arm around me. "He's so beautiful," he said, awed.

I nodded. "He is. He has your eyes. We made that, Comrade," I said, my voice trembling slightly. I loved my son unconditionally, but seeing how in awe Dimitri was of him, how he loved him and how he saw all the things Xavier did with with wonder in his eye made me see my son in a different light, made me appreciate him that much more, love him even more. I was so glad Abe had brought everyone here, so glad I didn't care for the consequences. Having Dimitri and Xavier meet would be worth it, whatever _it_ maybe.

"We did," Dimitri breathed. He held me close to him. "Once it's safe, can we have another child? A little girl, maybe. Or another boy for that matter. Or both. Can we have both?"

Dimitri looked at me excitedly, like a little kid in a toy store. I suppressed a smile. "Dimitri, do you have any idea how painful it is to give birth?" I asked, amused.

Dimitri gave me a sheepish look. "You can use drugs," he said hopefully.

My smile faded. "Dimitri," I began.

Dimitri shook his head. "No, let's not do this tonight, Roza," he begged. "Let's just enjoy ourselves, okay?"

I was struck how our positions had changed. Ordinarily, it would be me avoid the subject, but now it was Dimitri.

I sighed. "We need to talk about this, Dimitri," I said sternly.

Dimitri bowed his head obediently. "Yes, but not tonight, please."

Of course, tonight would be the night I choose to be stubborn and responsible. Sigh. "No, Dimitri, we need to talk about this." Maybe it was because I didn't know what would happen tomorrow, maybe it was the chance that we might not be able to talk again, but I wanted to have this conversation now, while I was brave enough to do it.

Dimitri clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. "Roza..."  
>"Dimitri, having this conversation tonight or tomorrow won't change anything; we'll just have everything solved earlier by doing it now as opposed to tomorrow," I said patiently.<p>

Dimitri exhaled. "Alright. Alright, let's do this," he said, determined now.

I chuckled. "Let's not do this here, though," I suggested playful.

Dimitri nodded. "Okay, let's go to our room."

He took the lead. Once I was through the door to our room, he closed and locked it before joining me on the bed.

"Okay, tell me everything," Dimitri commanded.

I sighed. "Okay, so, the morning after I left the gym, Seneca cornered me and told me to leave you, to disappear off this earth, or else you and Lissa and everyone else gets killed. I asked Alberta to let me take my trials and graduate early, but to let me travel for a year, learn more and such. She let me. Then, I talked to Adrian and told him to meet me in my room." I looked down, ashamed. "I did kiss, though. I'm sorry."

"Rose, it's okay," Dimitri said gently.

I nodded, letting it go for now. "I hung out with Lissa, then I told her that I was meeting Adrian. Adrian came, but said that he wanted to wait to do anything, he wanted to have an actual relationship. I agree and we spent the night sleeping in the same bed, but that's all. Then that morning, I made sure that when he left, he kissed me goodbye in front of lots of people. I knew you would hear it eventually. I just wanted some way to get away from you, to keep you from looking for me. I was so, so scared that she would do something, hurt you some way. I went to Russia in hopes getting away from you. I met Sydney Sage there, an Alchemist. She cleaned up my messes and took me to the doctor when she saw me throwing up. I found out I was pregnant and decided to stay with your family. Sydney took me there, but the house we stayed at before the road to Baia was attacked by two Strigoi. I fought them off, but I passed out..." I went on to tell him everything about what happened after Abe found, meeting his family, and finally ending with explaining how we had no idea who had asked Seneca for the favor, or the reason behind it, with the exception of Dimitri.

Dimitri leaned against the headboard, stunned. "So all of this is because of me?" he asked with disbelief.

I shook my head. "No. At first, that's what Abe and I thought, but it seems to be more than that. It has to be. I mean, no one tried to make any moves on you, nor did they try to make your life even more miserable, so that rules out jealousy and hate. Abe thinks you're just one part of the puzzle." I sighed again, tired.

"Roza, we'll figure this out, I promise." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I'm not letting you deal with this alone."

"Dimitri –"

"No, Rose," Dimitri said firmly. "I let you go once. I'm not going to do it again. That's not to say that I'm willing to flaunt this and cause retaliation, but we can be together in private. It'll be like the Academy all over again," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Except for this time, it's not our jobs and reputations on the line, but our lives."

"See, you understand." Dimitri grinned.

I smiled thinly, not amused in the least.

Dimitri's smile faded. He took my small hands in his huge ones. "Roza, I love you. I'm not going to stay away from you just because there's a sword hanging over our heads. What happens when, even though you stay away, the person still hurts you? I'm not going to waste whatever time I have with you, okay? We could be attacked by Strigoi tomorrow and you could die without me ever saying I love you. I'm not letting that happen, do you understand?" His eyes pierced mine.

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I understand," I sniffled. "I love you, Dimitri, so, so much."

"Oh, my Roza," he murmured, pulling me into his chest.

I closed my eyes and inhale his wonderful scent. Feeling of love and release and relieve filled me. We were finally together. The realization hit me like a train. _We were together. _

"Dimitri," I whispered, looking up at him.

"Roza?" He looked at me questioningly.

I didn't answer, simply stretched up my neck until our lips met. Dimitri got the message instantly. He kissed me back, setting my soul aflame.

Suddenly, we were like sharks in a feeding frenzy. We couldn't get close enough. All those years spent apart were crashing down on us, all resemblance of control gone, _poof._ We attacked each other with our mouths as our hands tore at clothing. Dimitri ripped my shirt off of me, my bra following. His shirt suffered the same fate. Both of us were rough, our hands almost punishing as they ran over each other's bodies. I tugged at his hair as he bit my neck, crying out as he squeezed my breast roughly. In a haze of pure lust, the rest of our clothes were reduced to shreds on the floor, barring our jeans, of course.

I raked my nails down his back as he did _something_ to my breast. One hand travel down my body to my core, just to make sure I was ready. Satisfied that I was, he positioned himself.

"I love you, Roza," he murmured.

"Wait!" I gasped out, suddenly remembering the very likely chance of me getting pregnant.

Dimitri groaned. "What?"

"Do you have any condoms?"

He looked at me as if I was insane. "Why would I have condoms?"

I sighed and let my head fall into the pillows. "Dammit," I swore.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I could get pregnant," I said miserably. "It's a very likely chance right now." I sighed again, not helping out situation at all as my chest brushed against his, causing both of us to shudder.

He stared at me. "Of all the times..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

We gaze at each other, not moving. Finally, Dimitri shifted. "Well, even if we can't make love, that doesn't mean we can't do anything else." He gave me a wicked look as his head ducked down.

"Yes..." I breathed.

For the rest of the night, we reconnected in every way possible. When we finally fell asleep, exhausted, I couldn't help but think, _I can't wait until he gets condoms tomorrow. _The anticipation of that made me shiver. We had been apart way too long. _Never again._

* * *

><p>AN: Well...this isn't what I'd planned for the chapter, but, hey, whatever! Figured you all deserved some cuteness(: THanks to Chelsea Jay for editing this!

Thank you for reviewing to the following people:** RozaRocks** (erm, well, yes...but...well, I have to. I really do :/ I'm sorry in advance :(),** Rose-loves-Dimitri** (xD No, Seneca is not. They're about the same age!), **Victoria Marie Dragomir** (you are not allowed to guess! xD),** XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX** (mmhmm, that was indeed Seneca), **Chelsea Jay **(nope :D), **Dragons-Twilight1992, Do'B** (Nah, no queen. Woman (at least, I think you're a female...sorry if you're not!) stop guessing! YOu're not allowed to guess either! You'll see her next chapter, I'll make sure to include her just for you(: Or...he could just demand it of her :D),** Kay1a **(I don't like to switch POVs constnatly, but I will add some conversations to show what they think, don't worry:)),** Supernatrualfreaak, Guest** (no need for murder, I do enough of that on my own! xD),** bboop12, AlyLuvsYou. **


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own VA :P

_I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it__**  
><strong>__I underestimated just who I was dealing with__**  
><strong>__She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum__**  
><strong>__She underestimated just who she was stealing from_

_She's not a saint__**  
><strong>__And she's not what you think__**  
><strong>__She's an actress, whoa__**  
><strong>__She's better known__**  
><strong>__For the things that she does__**  
><strong>__On the mattress, whoa__**  
><strong>__Soon she's gonna find__**  
><strong>__Stealing other people's toys__**  
><strong>__On the playground won't__**  
><strong>__Make you many friends__**  
><strong>__She should keep in mind__**  
><strong>__She should keep in mind__**  
><strong>__There is nothing I do better than revenge_

_-Better than revenge, Taylor Swift_

RPOV:

I awoke the next morning still naked in Dimitri's arms. The feel of his warm, silky skin on mine woke up all of my nerve endings, sending them into a frenzy. The memory of his hand on my body, his tongue and his lips, was still vivid in my mind. I wanted to feel that again, _need _it. I wanted to be connected with him, mind, body, and soul once more. But we couldn't do that until we got condoms. Dammit.

The door creaked open. "Momma?" Xavier's sleepy little voice asked.

"Shit," I muttered. I looked over the edge of the bed, hoping against hope that Dimitri's shirt was on the floor. Luck was with me; it was right next to me, along with Dimitri's boxers. I pulled both off the floor and nudged Dimitri awake just as Xavier's sleepy face peeked through the open door.

"Hey, love," I said gently, then yanked the shirt over my head. "Put the boxers on," I hissed to Dimitri as he sat up, rubbing his face.

"Hm? Okay," he mumbled, fumbling under the blankets.

Xavier stood at the foot of the bed, shy. "Come on up, Xavy," I encouraged him.

He scrambled up and crawled up to us. "Morning Mommy, morning Daddy," he said sweetly, cuddling up to Dimitri.

"Morning, little man," Dimitri said, wide awake now. He pulled Xavier closer to himself.

"Can you make brefast?" Xavier looked up at Dimitri with his puppy eyes.

Dimitri grinned. "Of course, little man, I'll make you breakfast." He kissed Xavier on the forehead.

I smiled at the two of them, my heart filling with love. "What about Mommy?" I pretended to pout. "Don't I get any love?"

Both of the boys jump at me. Xavier wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek at the same time as Dimitri pulled me into his chest and pecked me on the lips.

"I love you!" they said at the same time.

I giggled. "I love you two, my boys." I ran a hand through both of their hair. Both boys leaned their heads into my hands and I couldn't help but chuckle. _No paternity test needed here, _I thought wryly.

"Alright, up now," I commanded playfully.

"Okay, Momma. Can you help me get dressed?" Xavier asked.

I nodded. "I could, but wouldn't you rather Daddy do that?" I raised my eyebrows.

Xavier's face could have lit all of Russia he was so happy. "Daddy can you pease?" Xavier pleaded, his words taking on a babyish twang in his hurry.

"I'd love to," Dimitri replied, glancing at me. His eyes were bright and I could see that he was thanking me.

"Well, hurry. Breakfast won't cook itself," I joked.

Dimitri got out of bed, Xavier still in his arms. He swung Xavier up so that Xavier could sit on his shoulders. Xavier's ecstatic laughter could be heard all the way down the hall.

Once the laughter faded out of my hearing, I collapsed back onto the pillows. I couldn't believe how quickly everything was happening. Just yesterday I thought I wouldn't get the chance to introduce the two until a long time from now, and today, I was waking up in Dimitri's arms, Xavier bouncing between us. A smile crept over my face. I knew this couldn't last too long but I would enjoy every damn moment of it.

With a sigh, I clambered out of bed and began the tedious process of getting dressed. I didn't know where my guarding schedule stood; I knew Abe had said I was getting a couple days off to be with my family, but I didn't know if that offer still stood.

I hummed softly as I pulled on my shirt, my defenses completely down. So down, in fact, that it came as a shock when Lissa's emotions pulled me into her head.

_I was laying next to Christian, cuddled up to him, strong feelings of love filling my heart. _No, _Lissa_ was laying next to Christian, not me. _I couldn't help but be worried about Rose, hurt over what she wasn't telling me. _No, that was Lissa. I fought with my mind for a moment, extracting myself from her just enough so that I was a second mind within hers, no longer sharing one.

Lissa's feelings still filled me. She was worried about me. Hurt over me. "Christian?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

"Do you think Rose loves me?"

Christian peered down at her. "I think Rose loves you very much," he replied.

Lissa shook her head. "No, tell me the truth."

Christian sighed. "Okay. Here's the truth: I think Rose still loves you. No, let me finish," he insisted, seeing the look on her face. :I think rose still loves you, but she is turning away to protect you. You know she would do anything to keep you safe, even leave her own child. Now, keeping her child away from you might also be her way of keeping him safe."

"But who is the father of the child?" Lissa wondered.

"I'm assuming Belikov," he said frankly.

Lissa bolted upright. "What? Guardian Belikov? No way! She would never do that. _He_ would never do that! It can't have happened since they're both dhampirs! I mean, they physically can't have kids, even if it were possible for them to be together, which it's not."

Christian watched patiently as she finished her rant. "Liss, you can see it, can't you? The way they look at each other. The was he was as broken as you, if not more when she left. The kid looks just like him. And they both disappeared mysteriously yesterday. Not to mention, the rest of his family was there. What were they doing with Rose's child if he had no relation to them?"

Lissa was silent as he laid all the fact down in front of her. _Are you Rose? Are you in love with him and he with you? Do you really have a child together? How? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why are you avoiding me now? Is it because you're ashamed? I won't judge you, you should know that! I love you, Rose. Please, come back to me._

"I don't like how she's hurting you, but I've been considering, well, since last night anyway, that there's more to the story than meets the eye," he continued.

"I'm so worried about her though," Lissa grumbled. "I wish she would tell me. I'm her best friend."

Christian sighed. "Liss..." he trailed off, looking uncomfortable. "You do realise that she kept a lot from you?"

_ Gee, thanks Christian,_I thought wryly. _Throw me under the bus why don't you._

Lissa's shoulders drooped. "I know," she said sadly. "She's always trying to protect me." Frustration surged within her. She wished I would stop treating her like a fragile little girl.

"Roza?"

I blinked back into my own body to see Dimitri staring at me, his brow furrowed. "Hm?"

"Were you with Lissa?" he asked.

I nodded, feeling out of sorts. I wanted to talk to my best friend, but I knew from past experiences that she was terrible at keeping secrets. I knew Dimitri would pretend like nothing happened, lessening any threat against him, but he would so be on his guard now. Lissa on the other hand might do nothing more than panic and draw attention to herself.

"Are you okay?" Dimitri asked.

"Yeah - well, I guess so. Where's Xavier?" I glanced around as if I was expecting him to pop out of nowhere.

"He went to the kitchen," Dimitri replied, pulling on a shirt.

I realised I was still standing in nothing more than a shirt and my underwear and hurried to get dressed.

"What's the guarding schedule?" I questioned as we walked out of our room.

"Pavel and Mazur's guardians are taking over for now," Dimitri answered, opening the kitchen door for me.

I nodded. "So I have the time off for now, right?"

Dimitri nodded. "Mhm. I'm going to the store after breakfast," Dimitri shot me a meaningful look. I fought to keep from blushing. "Is there anything anyone needs?"

Tasha was sitting at the table with Xavier swinging his legs in a chair across from her. Viktoria sat next to Tasha, Christian and Lissa conspicuously missing.

Head shakes were seen all around. Tasha looked at him, frowning. "What do you need, Dimka? I hadn't realised that there was something missing." She began getting up, almost as if she was personally offended that her house didn't provide us with everything needed.

"Oh, no, don't worry Tasha. It's something personal that I need," Dimitri hurried to assure her.

"Oh, like deodorant personal?" she asked.

Dimitri nodded. "Okay," she said, satisfied.

Lissa and Christian emerged from their room just as Xavier asked impatiently, "Daddy, are you making brefast or talking?"

The world froze. _Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit!_

Christian raised an eyebrow, looking satisfied. "Daddy?"

I turned away. Knowing Xavier, he'd tell them everything.

"Uh-huh. He's my daddy," Xavier said proudly.

And there it is. I sighed softly, aware of the blaring silence in the house.

"What would you like for breakfast, Xavier?" Dimitri asked, opening the fridge.

"Blini! Blini!" Xavier announced excitedly.

Dimitri chuckled. "On the way. Everyone else?" He glanced back at the gathering at the table.

"Sounds good," I said lightly.

Suddenly, my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered automatically. Everyone looked around, confused, having not heard my phone.

"My darling Rose, I have it on good authority that Seneca has not a single clue as to where you are," Abe said cheerily.

"And your good authority is...?"

"A person," Abe replied cryptically.

My eyebrows shot up. "And you're trusting them?"

"The resident spirit user said he was telling the truth and was not compelled," Abe confirmed.

I exhaled a long breath. "So...what exactly does that mean?" I asked carefully.

"Well, I'm not sure what it means for you, but if I were you, I'd take advantage of this lapse in scrutiny and explain yourself, give your friends a heads up. That way, they will understand and Seneca won't be the wiser when she finally finds you again."

"But she will find me again," I stated, getting up from the table.

"Well, yes. I'm not perfect and her circle of contacts is as big as mine. There's something big in it for her, though, so she's been particularly vicious. Unless she's on her period, in which case this should be over in about a week."

"Dad!" I cried out. "You don't say something like that!"

Abe chuckled. "Sorry, kiz. You sound happy. I'm assuming Belikov met his son?"

I blushed, remembering last night. "Yep," I said lightly.

"Spare me the details," Abe said drily.

"I didn't say anything," I protested.

"Your tone said it all," he teased. "So how long until I have more grandkids? Nine months, right?"

"If you must know," I huffed, "we didn't do _that_ last night. I'm not stupid enough to get pregnant now." I paced up and down my room. "We're not doing _that _until tonight, when he gets condoms." I smirked, anticipating Abe's reaction.

"Rose!" Abe groaned. "I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing about my daughter's sex life! Honestly!"

I chuckled. "You asked."

"No, I didn't!"

"Are you coming over today?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Mmhmm," he mumbled. "The Belikovs are coming over in about an hour, too."

"Okay," I said happily. It seemed that going to Tasha's was the best thing that happened in a long time.

* * *

><p>As promised, the Belikovs came over just as we were finishing breakfast. Dimitri had already gone to the store, but they were more than happy to talk to the rest of our group.<p>

Amidst the festivities, I pulled Lissa aside.

"Lissa," I began once we were settled on my bed. I made sure to block her so that I could focus on my words. "I...I'm sorry."

"Why are you being so mean to me, Rose?" Lissa asked softly.

"Because..." I trailed off. How to phrase this without scaring her? "There...um...Seneca told me to leave, otherwise you get hurt," I said in a rush.

Lissa's eyes widened, horrified. "Seneca? Like Seneca Ackes?"

I nodded. "I thought that if I stayed away from you, gave you the cold shoulder, Seneca wouldn't have any reason to hurt you, you know? I'm sorry."

Lissa looked down. "You lied to me, so much."

Her sad words were echoed in my heart. "Liss, I'm sorry. The whole Adrian thing, I was just trying to keep all of you safe, that's all."

"Yeah, but what about Dimitri? What about the child you two have together?"

I winced at her angry tone, knowing I mostly deserved it. "Well, that...Dimitri and I fell in love at school, when he was my teacher and I his student. It wasn't allowed then, obviously. So we just kept it under wraps until graduation. He was going to get reassigned to Christian so we could still be together and not guard the same person," I explained. "That didn't work, obviously, what with Seneca. I didn't know I was pregnant until almost a month after I left."

"I still don't see why you couldn't have told me," Lissa mumbled, looking a bit guilty.

I sighed. "Liss..."

"I'm sorry." She shook her head as if to shake off unwanted thoughts. "What am I saying. I am so glad you came back. Are you okay?"

I nodded, relieved that she seemed to have forgiven me for my transgression. "Yeah, I'm fine. Abe is working on finding who is behind all of this."

Lissa frowned, confused. "Well, isn't it Seneca? I mean, why not get her to stop?"

I sighed again. "Because, Lissa, it won't do any good. I mean, it might, because then Seneca won't be there to give orders, but someone else will step into her place. Maybe she has a daughter or something, you know? Either way, whoever is giving Seneca orders will just find someone else to do it. Seneca is a big enemy, but she's a known enemy. This person could hire an assassin. As it stands, I'm not getting hurt, just being told to leave you guys alone. That means whoever it is doesn't want to hurt me, just get me out of the way," I told her, glossing over some things, like the attacks.

"That makes sense," Lissa admitted ruefully. Suddenly, she leaned forward and threw her arms around. "Oh, Rose, I missed you so much!"

I hugged her back, feeling her tremble with emotion. "I missed you too, Liss. But...we'll have to keep our distance still, okay?"

Lissa agreed, albeit sadly. "As long as we're still friends."

"It won't be forever," I promised, comforting her. "Now, let's go back to my family."

When we came out, Dimitri had come back. I followed him back to our room, watching as he stored the box of condoms in the drawer of the bedside table.

"I'm guessing you talked to Lissa?" he surmised.

I nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah. We're good."

"Good."

Dimitri gave me a hug, then we walked back to the living room, where everyone was sitting around, talking.

As I stood in the doorway, watching Dimitri play with his son, the Belikovs, my father, Lissa and the rest of the group watching them, talking and laughing together, I smiled, love and joy radiating from me.

For the first time in a really long time, I was truly happy.

* * *

><p>The next two weeks passed quickly. The Belikovs left after a week as planned, and Abe faded off into the background once more. Xavier stayed with us, sleeping in his little nursery.<p>

Dimitri and I kept our relationship under wraps. As far as anyone was concerned, our only connection was Xavier. Tasha commented once that if you didn't know we were in love, you would never even think that we had anything more than a past and an acquaintance in common. I was glad.

I managed to keep everyone else at an arm's length too. Just because Seneca didn't yet know where we were didn't mean I was risking them.

Dimitri and I finally made love. The first time was quite odd, as we had never used a condom before and feeling the latex was almost uncomfortable. However, after using them for a couple of nights, we got used to the sensation, though it would never feel as good as when there was nothing between us.

Dimitri and Xavier grew increasingly close. In a matter of days, it was as if Dimitri had always been there. I loved every second of it.

I was still fiercely protective of everyone, pulling long shifts. I kept my guard up when everyone else's was down. Once the Belikovs left, Abe pulled some of his guardians away, per my request; as much as I trusted them, I trusted myself more. Dimitri would often join me on patrols. We would have long talks in whispers. Sometimes, during the day, we even took Xavier. We would spend some time as a family, cementing the bond between us. For the first time, I felt truly hopeful.

At the end of the two weeks, Adrian came along. And with him, he brought a friend.

We were sitting down to lunch. Well, everyone else was, Dimitri and I were getting ready to go on duty.

This time, when there was a knock on the door, the Moroi stayed put, allowing Pavel to open the door for them.

"Afternoon, all!" Adrian said jovial, walking into the house. A petite form followed behind him, obscured by his tall framed. "Rose, there you are! Long time no see."

I nodded, my guardian mask firmly in place. "Adrian."

"Everyone, this is my friend, Alexia."

Adrian stepped back to show us his friend. Alexia was a Moroi, with dark red hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a body much like any other Moroi.

"Hi," she said shyly, her eyes darting around.

"Alexia?" Dimitri sounded confused. "Alexia, is that you?"

"Dimitri?" she exclaimed. "Oh, my goodness, Dimitri! I've missed you so much!" She threw herself at him, hugging him tight.

Dimitri, to my outrage, hugged her back. "Oh, Lexi, how are you! It's been years."

"I know!"

Dimitri held her at an arm's length. "What happened to your hair? And your eyes?"

Alexia shrugged, looking embarrassed. "Well, my mom and dad finally divorced." A flash of sadness went through her eyes before disappearing. "I took my mom's last name, by the way, Aldridge. And I figured, I might as well change everything. Start fresh, you know?"

Dimitri nodded, understanding. "Of course. I like it," he smiled at her gently.

"Thanks," she smiled brilliantly up at him.

Inside, I seethed. No way was this little Moroi taking my man. I cleared my throat harshly. "Guardian Belikov, we are on duty, remember?" I raised my eyebrows threateningly.

Dimitri looked down, shamed.

"Of course, Guardian Hathaway. Let's go." He turned back to Alexia. "Duty calls."

Alexia sighed. "Doesn't it always?"

They exchanged a look filled with laughter before Dimitri led me out the door.

I managed to give him the cold shoulder for about ten minutes before he broke me. And he didn't even have to say a word!

"So who was that?" I asked, my voice tight.

"Just an ex-girlfriend. No one to be concerned with, promise. We dated in my last year of high school before breaking. Duty got in the way, you know? We were going different places and understood that, so we parted as friends," Dimitri explained.

"And I'm not supposed to be worried?" I muttered.

Dimitri pulled me into a clump of trees. "No, Roza, you shouldn't be worried because I love _you._ Not her, _you._ So get that through your pretty little head." He tapped my forehead playfully. "We're old friends, and that is all. Okay?"

I sighed. "Promise?"

He nodded. "Yes, of course. What's really bothering you, Roza?"

I glanced away. "I hate that I can't say that you're mine. I hate that I can't kiss you, hold your hand, hell, even hug you for the world to see! I just want us to be normal," I said imploringly.

Dimitri sighed and hugged me close. "I know, Roza. I know. But it's not forever, you said it yourself. I love you and you love me, and that's enough for now, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, yes it is."

He kissed me gently on the lips, then pulled away. "Let's finish this. I would like to see my son."

I smiled at his concern for our little boy. "Let's do this."

We would get through this, no matter what. Our love was strong enough to withstand everything.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait! My muse decided to take a quick vacation :P But here it is now! Heads up, next chapter is going to be pure sadness. Agony. Gut-wrenching pain. Character death pain. Get out your tissues! And put down your pitch forks! I don't want to die :P Oh, and to those who read 'The Battle of the Bulge,' yes, there will be a second part! :D Oh, and check out my collab story with XxXLostLoveGetsFoundXxX, 'This Fame.' And question: Why did no one review my Never Too Late one-shot, Love Shack, with the exception of RozaRocks?

Thank you for reviewing to the following people:** XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX** (You'll see...(; I sort of added Lissa's pov...:D I don't like switching povs that much :P)**, Dragons-Twilight1992, 0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (this chapter was a bit slow, no action! Next chapter we'll have some life ending action o.O)**, bboop12, RozaRocks **(Oh, i know exactly what you mean, don't worry! THanks! They can be 3), **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (here's a hint for you...:D), **Victoria Marie Dragomir **(getting close...),** Bookworm695, Do'B **(you'll see (; Eh, Janine has no part in the story. Not really. At all. Lol, she's not important! xD),** chinita1** (lol, all I could of was the McDonald's jingle as I read your review xD)


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own VA :D

_Let the sky fall_**  
><strong>_When it crumbles_**  
><strong>_We will stand tall_**  
><strong>_Face it all together_**  
><strong>_At skyfall_**  
><strong>_That skyfall__Skyfall is where we start_**  
><strong>_A thousand miles and poles apart_**  
><strong>_Where worlds collide and days are dark_**  
><strong>_-Skyfall, Adele_

RPOV:

I watched, narrowed eyed, as Alexia flirted with Dimitri. It had been five days now since she had come, and tensions had risen. I'd given Abe her name, but after numerous background checks, she still came up clean. Granted, she hasn't shown anything suspicious, but I didn't like the way she was all over my Dimitri. Of course, she wasn't all over him, just flirted subtly, but that was beside the point.

"So, Dimitri, are you seeing anyone lately?" Alexia asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Dimitri's eyes shot to mine briefly, long enough for Alexia to follow, before Dimitri turned back to her. Some feeling flashed in her eyes, but it was gone before I could identify it.

"No, I'm not, but I'm busy with guardian duty," Dimitri said lightly.

I gritted my teeth and looked away.

"Daddy, can we play?" Xavier asked.

Dimitri smiled at our son. "Of course, Xavy. If you'll excuse me." He left his spot on the couch beside Alexia and came over to Xavier's play area on the floor.

I smiled gently at the two. They were quickly engrossed in playing cowboys, shattering all of Dimitri's protests against wanting to be one.

At that moment, my phone ran. "Hello?" I answered automatically, my eyes still on my boys.

"Hello, kiz," Dad said cheerfully. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, yourself?" I asked pleasantly.

"Fine, fine. How is my grandson?"

"He's enjoying playing cowboys with his daddy," I said, laughter in my voice.

Abe chuckled on the other side. "The things that man will do for his son..."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, don't worry," I raised my voice slightly so that Dimitri could hear me clearly. "Dimitri loves the game. Didn't you know he wants to be a cowboy himself?"

Dimitri raised his eyes to mine, then rolled them.

I grinned down at him. "Rose, quit teasing the man," Abe chastised me playfully. "You would love to live back then too."

I chuckled. "Yeah, but I would be the lawless bank robber and he'd be the town sheriff," I joked.

"Sounds like a fun time," Abe said suggestively.

"Abe!" I cried out. "Seriously, old man? Did you have to go there? You better not be talking like that when Xavier is around!"

Abe outright laughed. "Sorry, little girl. Too good of an opportunity to pass up."

"You know," I said drily, lowering my voice so no one could hear, "most fathers would be appalled at the thought of their daughter's sex lives."

"Well, I'm not most fathers. Besides, your son had to get here somehow. I figured I might as well skip the 'no sex' step and jump right into the teasing you part."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, old man. I gotta go."

"Oh, don't you want to talk to dear old dad?"

I snorted. "No, not really. I have better things to do," I said casually.

"I'm hurt, little girl," Abe joked. "Go on, go guard your princess."

I gave a half smile to no one. "Thanks, old man. I appreciate it."

We clicked off at the same time.

"Who was that?" A curious voice asked.

I turned my head and jumped slightly at how close Alexia had gotten. Her green eyes bore into mine.

"Oh, um, that was my dad," I replied, unnerved.

This time, several emotions flashed, some of which I recognized: sadness, jealousy, yearning. Didn't she have a father? Then I remembered that her own parents divorced, and realised that it must have been bad.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"For what?" Alexia snapped, defensive suddenly.

I leaned away, taken aback. "Your parents' divorce."

"Like you know anything about that," she said nastily, flouncing out of the room.

I stared after her, flabbergasted.

"Don't worry about it, Roza," Dimitri soothed. "She's always been touchy about her father, and her parents in general. Hers wasn't a happy childhood."

"Alright," I muttered, not mentioning that my childhood wasn't the happiest either, but you didn't see me being a bitch about it.

* * *

><p>After the moment in the living room, a kind of tension filled the air. I didn't know what the issue was, but the event that was the straw that broke the donkey's back came quickly. Too quickly for anyone to stop it.<p>

A week after Alexia came to visit, she asked to talk to Dimitri privately in the living room. We had just had dinner and were all sitting peacefully, talking amongst ourselves. After exchanging a look with me, Dimitri ruffled Xavier's hair and stood up.

"Sure, Lexi," he said lightly.

She smiled slightly and led them to the living room, closing the door behind them.

We began cleaning up after dinner, Tasha and Lissa talking animatedly while washing dishes. In a little more than a week, we would have to go back to Lehigh. I dreaded that day, because our cover would be lost and we would once more be at the mercy of Seneca. Abe's plan of getting her to find us had fallen through and he was getting frustrated. Something had to give.

The kitchen was cleaned up and still Dimitri and Alexia hadn't reappeared, so we milled around the kitchen. Xavier's eyes were starting to droop, so I picked him up, letting everyone know that I was going to put him to bed and head off myself. Everyone wished me a goodnight. If only...

Xavier was tucked in and sleeping peacefully when I felt a presence behind me. I didn't react, knowing it was Dimitri. He moved closer to me until he was standing next to me, looking down at our son.

"Goodnight, my beautiful son," Dimitri murmured in Russian. "I love you." He leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead. I followed suit before backing out of the room, Dimitri following.

He gently closed the door behind him.

"So, what was that about?" I asked in a whisper.

Dimitri grimaced. "She...propositioned me."

I scowled. "Ugh, you are too perfect for your own good. Everyone wants to proposition you. It's a wonder you're still with me," I muttered, annoyed.

Dimitri chuckled. "But I don't want any of them because I have you, my beautiful, stubborn mother of my child," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please. You just want to get some."

Dimitri moved forward until my back hit the door to our room. He moved his arms to rest on either side of my head. "Maybe so, but I'm being completely honest when I tell you that I love you."

I grinned goofily up at him. "And I'm almost completely honest when I say I care a bit about you," I teased him.

Dimitri pretended to be hurt. "You almost care about me? What about Xavier? Did he mean anything?"

I giggled. "Oh, alright, I suppose I love you," I conceded playfully.

"Good," he murmured, edging even closer.

"Dimitri," I gasped out, shocked that he was so forward when anyone could see him.

"I love it when you say my name. I love it even better when you scream it," he whispered heatedly into my ear.

I bit back a moan, my fingers moving up to curl in the waistband of his jeans. "I -"

"Dimitri."

We pulled apart hastily at the voice, spinning to see who it was.

Alexia stood at the end of the hallway. This time, the expression in her eyes was crystal clear. Hatred and jealousy warred for dominance on her face. Three of us stood frozen, looking at each other before Alexia turned around and walked stiffly away.

Dimitri exhaled, running a hand through his hair. "I should probably go talk to her," he mumbled.

I was doubtful. "I don't know, she looks pretty mad," I pointed out. "You wouldn't dare come near me if I was that mad. Maybe you should let her cool down."

Dimitri thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, good point. She was always like that, gets mad, but then calms down and can speak reasonably. Why don't we head off to bed and I'll deal with this in the morning."

I hesitated, but nodded. Though I felt bad that she had seen us, I didn't care enough to track her down. I was too tired from a long day of guarding. "Alright, let's go."

I was still a bit worried about Alexia, but Dimitri's touches soon took my mind away.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long we were asleep, but it was well into the night when we were woken by scream.<p>

Never before had either of us heard that scream, but we knew. We knew it was Xavier and we knew there was something seriously wrong.

We bolted out of bed, wearing nothing but the clothes we'd fallen asleep in; me in Dimitri's shirt, nothing but boxer's in Dimitri's case.

We were in Xavier's room in a matter of seconds, but seconds were too long.

I froze in the doorway, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. Then my legs gave out as the agony slammed into me and Dimitri caught me.

On the floor in front of his crib, Xavier lay, his eyes shocked and scared, one hand reaching for me. His little body was limp, no light in his eyes. The brightest thing on him was the red gash across his throat.

"No!" I screeched, reaching for him. "No-o-o!" My throat hurt from screaming so loudly, but I didn't care.

Dimitri held me. "Xavier," he whispered, sounding lost. "Xavier."

As if through water, we stumbled over to our little boy. One trembling hand stroked his hair as my body wracked with sobs. "Xavier!" I cried out, collapsing, clutching him to me. My cries made me breathless.

Dimitri pulled us into his arms. I could feel his body shaking or maybe I was shaking for both of us. "No!" he roared. He touched Xavier's head gently, carefully, stroking his cheek. "My little boy, no, you're okay," he babbled, voice edging on hysteria. "You're okay, you're j – just sl-sleeping-" his words cut off.

I was feeling light headed as I hyperventilated. "He's okay," I was, rocking. "He's fine. My little baby is okay. He's okay." If I repeated it enough times, it would be true, right? Right?

"Rose..." Lissa's stricken voice pulled me from my hysteria.

I looked into her broken face and _knew. _There was no getting my Xavier back.

I howled at the pain ripping through me. Around me, movements and voices were present but I could focus on nothing more than the small form in my arms, the giant breaking apart beside me, and my world shattering into a thousand pieces.

* * *

><p>AN:...Please don't kill me...U.U I cried while writing this...Happy Easter to all celebrating it!

Thank you for reviewing to:** Rose-loves-Dimitri** (Did you get the hint now? lol),** Dragons-Twilight1992, bboop12, XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX, Ilovevampiresangels, Random** (quick enough? :D),** Dimka's chick** (Yes..they do now! :D; mmhmm...sadly :P), **Guest** (Well, there's enough drama as is. And I promise you, I only put death when absolutely necessary, not for drama(: Nope, no main character death...I always stay true to the pairing, don't worry! :D)**, RozaRocks **(Lmao xD They are...sadly no more :'( Nope, not Abe, as you can clearly see...:/), **Victoria Marie Dragomir, BiggestPolarBearFanEver** (Hm...I have read it, but who...? Puck? Titania? I'm blanking here...), **Kay1a **(Were you prepared? I wasn't!)


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own VA

T_wo packs of cigarettes a day_**  
><strong>_The strongest whiskey_**  
><strong>_Kentucky can make_**  
><strong>_That's a recipe to put a vagabond_**  
><strong>_On his hands and knees_**  
><strong>_I watched it all up close,_**  
><strong>_I knew him more than most_**  
><strong>_I saw a side of him he never showed_**  
><strong>_Full of sympathy for a world that_**  
><strong>_Wouldn't let him be_**  
><strong>_That's the man he was,_**  
><strong>_Have you heard enough?_**  
><strong>_What a shame, what a shame,_**  
><strong>_To judge a life that you can't change_**  
><strong>_The choir sings, the church bells ring_**  
><strong>_So, won't you give this man his wings?_**  
><strong>_What a shame to have to beg you to_**  
><strong>_See we're not all the same_**  
><strong>_What a shame__-What a shame, Shinedown _

DPOV:

I stared numbly at my hands as they rested on the table. I didn't know what to do any more. My son was gone, my love was gone. What was left?

My mind drifted back to the aftermath of my little boy's passing...

_Rose and I sat vigil with our little boy, our tears long spent. Neither of us had the strength or will to let go of him, though his little body had long since gone cold. Light had peaked over the horizon, the start of our day, before anyone moved. _

_ "Rose," Lissa said softly. _

_ Rose shook her head. I couldn't look away from them, Rose holding my little boy as they sat cuddled in my arms. I don't think that image will ever leave my mind. _

_ "Dimitri." _

_ I gave no reaction that I heard the soft spoken words. Surely, Xavier couldn't be gone. I'd played with him just this afternoon. I'd kissed him goodnight, told him I loved him. Surely this wasn't the last time!_

_ I don't know how much more time passed, but eventually, Rose stirred. "I don't want to leave him," she said in a broken whisper._

_ I made a noise of agreement in the back of my throat, unable to form words._

_ "We have to, don't we." This wasn't a question, but I still bobbed my stiff neck in a single nod. Neither of us moved._

_ "Rose, sweetie," Tasha said hesitantly. _

_ My eyes lifted of their own accord to see Tasha's tear stained face, genuine pain etched in it. _

_ "Hm?" Rose hummed absentmindedly, stroking Xavier's hair._

_ "Sweetheart, you need to let go," Tasha continued, sitting in front of her._

_ Rose blinked rapidly. "I don't want to," she said faintly._

_ "I know you don't, honey, but you have to."_

_ A big, fat tear rolled out of her eye. "But he's my baby..."_

_ "I know, sweetie, I know." Tasha reached up and wiped the tear away. I knew I should do that, be strong, but I couldn't find it in me. I could do nothing more than sit, empty._

_ Tasha continued comforting Roza, soothing her until Roza finally let go of Xavier. I came to life then._

_ "No!" I strangled out, attempting to move towards him, but my stiff body failed me._

_ 'Dimitri," Tasha said gently, "you need to let go, too."_

_ I shook my head in denial. "No, give him." I help out my arms, feeling like a child. The child Xavier would no longer be._

_ Tasha hesitated but carefully gave me Xavier little body._

_ I stared at my son. His hair, so much like Roza's. His eyes, now closed, a carbon copy of mine. I would never know whom he was more like, Roza or me? And I let the tears come, let them pour like a waterfall out of my eyes. Roza held me as I held her throughout the night. _

_ The funeral was three days later. Rose and I stood next to each other, both of us blank faced. I'd gone numb shortly after Xavier was taken away. The only thing that kept me going was Rose._

_ Once the funeral was over, we went slowly back to Tasha's house. Someone had cleaned the nursery of blood, thankfully, I observed as Rose and I made our way back there._

_ We had only been sitting for about five minutes when Rose looked up at me._

_ "I'm leaving."_

_ "W-what?" I asked hoarsely._

_ She glanced away. "It's my fault," she whispered. "It's all my fault. If I wasn't here..." she trailed off. _

_ "Roza, no!" I protested, grabbing her arms. "No, please, don't leave!"_

_ "Dimitri, I'm sorry, but...she wins. Whoever it is, she wins." The words weren't bitter but resigned, tired. I knew that she hadn't slept in the last three days, neither of us had. Little did I know that she was planning her leave the entire time._

_ "You can't leave us!" I exclaimed, borderline hysterical again. _

_ Rose gave me a look that was filled with terrible sadness. "Dimitri...there is no us. There will never be an us again. Because now there's only you and there's only me. We can never be an us again."_

_ The absolute truth of that statement was crippling. There was no us. There couldn't be an us without an Xavier. _

_ "I'm sorry," Rose whispered. "I hope you're all safe."_

_ She walked out, closing the door between her and me forever. _

Since Rose walked out, I had been on autopilot. I woke up, ate breakfast, and guarded all day. Once, a Strigoi wandered near the wards; it suffered my pain.

Alexia became a really good and supportive friend to me since It.

"Hey," she said softly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "How are you?"

I shrugged. We would leaving to go to Lehigh soon and I dreaded leaving the little plot where Xavier rested in the local cemetery.

"We'll get through this," Alexia soothed.

My shoulders tensed slightly. Lately, she had begun saying things like that, insinuating that she and I were a 'we.' Luckily, Lissa came in then, interrupting any awkwardness.

"Hey, Dimitri," Lissa said sadly.

I nodded, not looking up. I could feel the sympathy oozing from them and stood up abruptly. "I'm off," I said, voice gruff.

Alexia joined me twenty minutes into my shift. Though I had watch last night, I hadn't been able to sleep.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up over it," she said softly. "It's not your fault."

I didn't look at her. It didn't matter whether or not it was my fault. What mattered was that I had failed at saving my son. What mattered was that he was gone. No one can save him now. Not even a spirit user.

During a point when Rose wasn't catatonic, she asked Adrian and Lissa why they hadn't saved Xavier. It wasn't a mad question, more matter of fact. Adrian had explained that it was all so shocking that he hadn't even thought of it, Lissa adding that she was more concerned for Rose's pain than anything. Rose had nodded. "I wouldn't have let you near him regardless," she'd said sadly.

I didn't know what I would have done if they had tried to heal Xavier. Part of me thought that I would do anything for my son, but another part whispered that if faced with the choice at that time, I wouldn't have been able to let go of my broken family long enough to allow anyone to heal him. I shook my head. It didn't matter now; the choice was taken out of our hands.

"Dimitri, you shouldn't be like this," Alexia continued. "Rose left to heal. She left you."

I shook my head again. "No," I said gruffly. "She left me to keep us all safe."

Alexia didn't respond. After a long moment, she spoke again. "Then you shouldn't wallow like this. Live for Xavier. Live how he can't leave any more."

I stayed silent. I knew what she was hinting at, but I didn't take the bait. After another moment of uncomfortable silence, she sighed and turned back to the house. "Think about it."

I didn't even consider.

* * *

><p>The night before we set off for Lehigh, Lissa visited my room. I'd been laying down, mentally preparing for the night, knowing I wouldn't sleep, and if I did, the nightmares would plague my mind.<p>

"Hey," Lissa said, sticking her head around the door. "Mind if I come in?"

I shook my head. I could see how the recent events had affected her; her shoulders drooped and the light that was always present in her eyes was missing.

I shifted so that she could sit on the edge of the bed. The silence dragged on for several minutes before Lissa spoke again. "Look, you don't have to go back to Lehigh if you don't want to. You can stay here, or go to Court, visit your family, whatever. Get away if you have to. I'll understand, everyone will."

I was half tempted to listen to her. The idea that I could continue visiting Xavier every day, not worry about guarding, was highly tempting, but I shook my head. "No, I promised that I would keep you safe until Rose could do it, and I will continue to do so," I replied.

I could see that Lissa was relieved, but still pressed the issue. "Are you sure, Dimitri?" she asked. "Positive? I won't hold it against you. And it's not like it would be forever."

I shook my head again. "No, I'm sure."

Lissa hesitated, but then nodded. I could see that she was warring with herself, her own wants versus mine.

"Lissa, I'm positive. It'll give me something to do to distract myself," I added.

Lissa sighed. "Alright," she said softly, before leaving.

I lay in bed after she left for a couple of hours, long enough for everyone except the guardians on duty to go to sleep. As the quiet of the sleeping house settled around me, I rolled out of bed. Rose's scent still lingered in the sheets, yet another reason behind me restless sleep.

I crept out of my room. Tasha's voice in the kitchen made me pause.

"You know, Dimitri, that's not at all healthy," she chastised.

I looked at her, surprised. She had been so silent, I hadn't noticed her sitting at the kitchen table. She nodded to the seat in front of her, where a steaming cup of tea sat, a plate of sugar cookies in front of it.

I sat down, cradling the tea in my hand. "What are you doing up?" I questioned in a whisper, making sure the rest of the house stayed asleep.

"Waiting for you," she said simply, taking a sip out of her own cup. "You know, Abe stopped by, the day of the funeral."

I raised my eyebrows. "Did he now?"

"Mmhmm," Tasha nodded. "Slammed Adrian up against the side of the house and demanded to know what he knew."

"Why?"

"Because this happened after Adrian came along. Apparently, there have been other threats that no one was aware of," Tasha explained. "Ever since Adrian came along."

"And?" For the first time since Xavier's death, I was interested in something.

"He knew nothing. Haven't you noticed that he isn't here any more?"

I shook my head. No, I hadn't noticed, but now that she mentioned it, his absence was obvious.

"As far as I know, Seneca sent someone with him, threatened everyone he knew. Adrian thinks it was Alexia."

I was shaking my head before she finished. "No. She may be the messenger, but that's because she's being threatened as well. I've known her for years and she would not do _anything _like that."

Tasha was silent, sipping her tea. "People change," she finally said.

I shook my head again. "No, not Lexi."

Tasha sighed. "If you say so."

We drank our tea in silence for a few moments.

"So, what about Rose?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Tasha raised an eyebrow.

I averted my eyes. "She chose to leave," I mumbled.

"And you're just leaving a grieving mother to suffer the pain by herself?" Tasha raised her voice slightly.

"What do you want me to do, Tasha?" I hissed. "What good would me going after her be?"

"Well, for a start, you can begin to heal and help each other heal. She needs you, Dimitri. She left because she felt guilty. You need to let her know that you still love her and that you will always be there. I know both of you are broken, but you need to put yourselves together again, _together_ so that you can find the bastard that had the gall to hurt a defenseless child," Tasha snapped, fire burning in her eyes.

I didn't respond.

"Dammit, Dimitri!" Tasha cried out softly. "You are such a man. Go find your Rose, help her, and end this bullshit."

Slowly, slowly, her words sank into my mind. _Revenge. Hurt whoever hurt my little boy. Destroy them. Find Roza. Yes, find Roza._

I looked up at her. "Okay," I said simply.

She blinked. "Huh? Okay? That's all?"

My lip twitched upward. "What more do you want? Tell Lissa where I am, would you?"

"Oh, uh, sure. Do you need anything?"

I shook my head, already going back to my room. A week and a half had gone by since Xavier was lost to us. A week and a half for the enemy to sit back with satisfaction at winning. No. I would not allow that. I was going to find my Roza, find the bastards that broke us, and break _them. _With renewed determination, I packed a bag and took out my cellphone, quickly dialing a number I had never had a use for.

"Hello? Abe, it's Dimitri. I need your help."

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, so, I got lots of hate for what I did. However, I'm not changing that. There's a reason behind it, and if you don't like that, then don't read. It was harsh to kill Xavier, but you must remember that, first and foremost, THIS IS A STORY. It's not like I went out and killed an actual child, okay? And second, it was necessary. Things happen in real life too. And if you're going to leave an angry review, the least you could do is leave it signed so I can rpely to you directly, okay? Seriously people, grow. Not like I know who you are in real life -_-

Thank you (mostly) for reviewing to the following people: **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (lol nvm :P I'm sorry :/ It was necessary, I promise :P Yes, we were(: Isn't it soo good?), **kcripep** (here you go! :D), **RozaRocks** (:/ Sorry...yes, he is :( I'm sorry I made you sad :/),** bboop12** (Sorry :/), **READandWRITE11** (Please don't?),** Breebh14** (Thank you for not hating :D), **xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx** (Yup :D Well, technically speaking, no, Seneca did, but that's all in the details :P),** UmikaWaves** (I'm sorry! I cried too, don't worry :( Thank you! Yes, yes they are :3 don't worry, they'll get their revenge :D),** vampiregirl2014** (no, she's not, sadly :/ Yes, yes she did :D Don't worry, they'll be dead(:), **Dragons-Twilight1992** (Sorry, it was necessary :/),** XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX** (mmhmm :/), (yes, yes and yes! Because he didn't know who it was and he was afraid if he did, Seneca would retaliate.) **0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (sorry :/),** Kay1a** (Sorry! Please don't take me hostage :/ there is a plan, I promise), (You can cry, I did!), **Dimka's chick** (No, not a dream, sorry :/),** Baby Killer** (Oh, wow, you JUST figured out it was murder? What tipped you off? -_- Wow, you're a piece of work. Hon, are you forgetting that this is nothing more than a story and things worse than this happen in real life? You don't want to read my story, fine. I don't need trolls like you. So sorry I tried to make a realistic story. How is it cowardly? You know, whatever. Don't read my story, you're doing me a favor.) **chinita1** (Sorry! I had to :/), **Guest (**No, sorry. Killing Lissa wouldn't have the same effect. I know it sounds cruel, but it was necessary :/), **Victoria Marie Dragomir** (nope, not a dream :/), **Do'B** (I do love your long reviews :3 I'm sorry :/ Yea, they are bastards, aren't they? Adrian brought her because he had no choice. Remember, Seneca threatened him like she did Rose? Yes, the change was very...suspicious. Hehe...you shall see...I'm sorry, but no :/ But don't worry, they'll get their payback...Alexia is no one to Adrian, just the girl Seneca sent with him. Yes, Abe is really very angry. You'll see more of that next chapter :P Oh, she knew. That was part of the reason...),** ClauIloveDimitriBelikov** (I know :/ I refuse comment on the rest (; You'll just have to see...)


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own VA.

_I created the Sound of Madness._**  
><strong>_Wrote the book on pain._**  
><strong>_Somehow I'm still here,_**  
><strong>_To explain,_**  
><strong>_That the darkest hour never comes in the night._**  
><strong>_You can sleep with a gun._**  
><strong>_When you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself?_**  
><strong>_-Sound of Madness, Shinedown _

RPOV:

I sat staring numbly at the kitchen table, my hands around a cup of tea long gone cold. I had been at the Belikovs ever since I said goodbye to Dimitri. I didn't know how long that was; time had ceased to exist. The world around me seemed hazy, numb, but surrounded with a serrated edge of pain. Though everyone had supported me, nothing could make the hurt go away. Even Yeva couldn't make me feel better. However, that didn't stop her from trying.

"Roza," Yeva began, sitting down next to me. "It is not your fault. You must get that through your head. It is the fault of the gutless coward who was too spineless to go after you and instead went after a defenseless child." Her speech ended with a growl. Yeva seemed more angry than sad about Xavier's passing, though I suspected it was her way of keeping herself sane.

"I was the one to provoke that gutless coward, though," I said in a broken whisper, my voice cracking from lack of use.

"You will kill yourself, child, with the way you keep going on," Yeva snapped.

She was referring to the fact that I trained with every available guardian I could find, sometimes traveling a full day to get to them. On the way to and from my trainers, I would hunt any and all Strigoi I could. I couldn't kill Xavier's killer, but I could make sure that other mother's children were safe.

I shrugged. "I'm fine. At least this way, I'm doing something good."

Yeva shook her head and stood up, apparently done trying to get through to me for the day. "It's not over yet." She walked away, leaving me to stare at the table once more.

* * *

><p>More time passed. I found a female guardian willing to teach me while she was visiting with her Moroi. I didn't want to know what business had brought her Moroi to town, but I didn't care. All I cared about was training and killing. This way, I was able to release all emotion in me, forgetting, for even the briefest time, my Xavier and my Dimitri, my lost boys.<p>

* * *

><p>It could have been days or weeks after the female guardian had helped me train. All I knew was that I had managed to kill three Strigoi in that span of time.<p>

Dimitri came barging through the door, not even a knock to give us a heads up. We were sitting down for dinner, an affair that had long since become solemn and dark.

"Roza," he breathed, staring at me.

I stared blankly back, unable to comprehend what I was seeing.

"Roza, I..." Dimitri trailed off, the excitement in his face fading. "Roza?"

I continued staring at him. Was that Dimitri? I wondered. Or had I gone completely insane? It didn't matter, I decided with a shrugged. I turned back to my dinner. It didn't matter. He was lost to me forever anyway. Just like little Xavy. Forever gone, forever lost. Never to be seen again.

A heavy feeling like lead in my chested decedent upon me. I had long since gotten used to the feeling and the only indication of it was the drooping of my shoulders. It didn't matter.

"Roza?"

I ignored the voice. Maybe if I did that, it would go away and I wouldn't have to do anything. I wouldn't have to hurt him. I wouldn't have to leave. Maybe he was here to tell me all about his new girlfriend. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

The lead inside of me hardened, becoming a fist and squeezing my still heart. I was vaguely reminded of history class, when Russia was Communist and Stalin ruled it with an iron fist. Then I remembered a Russian correcting the teacher, saying it wasn't an iron fist, but a gloved made of hedgehog needles. No need to force the people; they were too afraid to do anything wrong, keeping themselves trapped. That's how I felt in that moment. No threat was greater to me than that which I had upon my heart. I was afraid to move.

"Roza...?" His voice was very hesitant now. I sensed more than saw him move toward me. I leaped up, my chair crashing against the floor.

"I need to go to...go," I stuttered out quickly, allowing my hair to fall in front of my face. There was no way I could look at him. I needed to keep my heart safe. I needed to keep him safe. Lissa. Chris. Xavier. He will not have died in vain.

I quickly walked up the stairs to my room, grabbing my jacket and stake before jumping down the stairs and out the back door. The whole journey had taken less than a minute.

I jogged away from the house, the air freezing the oxygen in my lungs. The only thought in my mind was to get away from there until _he_ was gone. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't have anyone else get hurt. Not because of me.

"Everything will be alright," I mumbled to myself. "No one is gonna get hurt. It won't be another Xavy."

There was only one other reason I had escaped from there as soon as I did: I saw Xavier's ghost. The first time it happened, I broke down crying. I was nearly catatonic. I couldn't handle seeing my little boy stuck like that, no way out. It was Mason, a thousand times over. I had failed him too. I had failed them all.

I hadn't noticed that my jogging had sped up to full on running due to my agitated thoughts. It took me a moment to register the blurring houses and trees, then only trees. It hit me then that I had run out of town. How long had I been gone? I shook my head. No matter. Time was meaningless when you had failed everything and lost it all.

_Good thing I grabbed my stake,_ I mused. _Good time for hunting. _I needed to release all of this agitated emotion.

Luck was with me. Ifelt the nausea long before I saw the Strigoi.

I smiled sadly. This was once someone's child. Now they were dead.

"I'm sorry you ended up this way," I said simply, before attacking in a lightening fast maneuver I had recently perfected. The boy – that's what he was, just a boy – stumbled back from the force of my hit. He was clearly a newborn; I could tell by the sloppy way he covered his chest and his almost-jerky movements.

"I'm sorry," I said again, grief filling me as I kick him in the face, causing his hands to cover it reflexively. I stabbed my stake through his heart, the motion so effortless it sent a thrill of pain through me. I stared at the sorry corpse for a blank moment before remembering that I needed to call an Alchemist. I let out a weary sigh and pulled out my cellphone, which I kept on me at all times. Sending a quick text to the local Alchemist with the place, I sat down on the ground next to the dead boy to wait for him to come. Absentmindedly, I ran a hand through his hair.

"It's alright, little boy," I crooned softly. "Your momma misses you, but you're okay now. You're free. I know you probably didn't choose this. I'm sorry, but now you're free. It's okay."

I sat there long enough for my butt to go numb, stroking his hair and crooning soft reassurances to him.

"Roza?"

I began humming a lullaby I once sang to Xavier.

"Roza, love, are you alright?"

I continued humming and stroking the boy's hair.

"Roza, that's a Strigoi. Why are you touching him?"

"His mother is missing him. He was just a young boy. He needs someone to comfort him," I whispered back, staring off into the woods.

"Roza..." His voice sounded odd. I paid him no attention.

Crunching through the woods announced the Alchemist's arrival.

I stood up, brushing off my bottom. "Can you say last rites?" I asked, looking at the man.

The Alchemists looked at me, surprised.

"He is wearing a cross," I explained. "It seems like something he would want."

The Alchemist stared at me for a long moment before nodding. He cleared his throat and as he began to speak, I turned around and walked away.

I could hear Dimitri following, which told me he wanted me to hear. I ignored all the signs. If I did that, maybe _she_ won't take it out on Lissa.

"Roza, stop."

I continued.

"Roza, please, stop, we need to talk."

I paid him no heed.

"Roza, stop. _Stop._"

The order jarred me, making me hesitate on my next step. Dimitri took advantage of that, grabbing my arm and spinning me around.

I gasped at the contact. It had been so long since I had touched him, the sensation made me dizzy.

"Roza, _please,_" he begged.

"Dimitri," I said through a ragged breath. "Please, don't."

"Roza, we need to," he countered.

I shook my head, letting my arm hand limp in his hand.

"Roza, _yes._ We need to-"

"We need to stay away from each other," I interrupted him. "I'm tired of people getting hurt." My words seemed magic, as fatigue crashed down on me. I swayed on my feet, my knees too weak to hold me.

"Roza!" Dimitri exclaimed. He caught me and carefully maneuvered himself to sit on the ground with me nestled in his lap. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head slowly. "No," I whimpered.

"Roza, we'll get through this, I promise. We _will._"

I continued shaking my head.

"_Yes_." Dimitri shook me gently. "Roza, we will get through his and find the bastard who did this, then together we will rip them apart. I will personally tear out their spine and beat them with it, because they won't need their spine. _They're spineless cowards._" Dimitri ended with a growl.

"I don't want no one else to hurt," I whimpered.

"Roza..." Dimitri ran his hand through my hair. "Roza, no one will. This is personal now. They won't get the chance to hurt anyone, okay?"

I didn't answer.

"Roza, look at me."

I shook my head.

"Roza, _look at me._"

Even after all these years, I was powerless to disobey a direct order. My eyes reluctantly raised to his. My breath caught.

His eyes were twin pools of liquid fire. They burned with an intensity I had never seen before. He looked slightly mad and definitely angry, a hint of desperation mixed in. But above all of that, there was _hope. _Hope was shining through like a ray of sunlight on the darkest day in Alaska. Hope, something I had long since lost.

"There's nothing left," I whispered brokenly.

"Don't say that!" Dimitri said fiercely.

I shook my head again.

"Rosemarie Janine Hathaway, there is always something," Dimitri snapped. "We don't have our little boy, but we can avenge him and make sure this never happens again, you hear me? We can do this! Just...don't give up, Roza. You can't give up."

I looked at him, tired, drained, empty. "Dima, there is nothing left here," I mumbled, using another nickname for Dimitri, one I had never used before.

The affectionate name, used so listlessly, caught him off-guard. "Roza..." he trailed off, searching my eyes. This time he shook his head. "No, I will not lose you!"

He bent his head and touched his lips to mine, beginning a slow kiss.

At first, I gave no reaction beyond jumping slightly in fright. But as Dimitri continued moving his lips on mine, some primal part of me couldn't help but react. Soon I was kissing him with a fierceness that scared me, kissing him like I hadn't in weeks, kissing him like if he stopped, the world would end.

For the first time in weeks, I felt something beyond the pain.

A warm feeling blossomed in my chest, a feeling I was astonished to identify as love. I was feeling love for this man that didn't seem to give up, ever. He kept fighting even when the fight was lost.

"Dimitri," I gasped out, pulling away.

"Roza, we _have to._ I can no longer stand by and allow his murders to live their lives as if nothing had happened. I need to do this and I need to do this _with you," _Dimitri said vehemently, passion burning in his eyes and voice.

In that moment, I knew I would do anything he wanted me to. I would walk to Hell and back if need be. I would happily light myself on fire just to see his face lit up like that. Deep down, I knew there was no chance in hell that I wouldn't go with him. I knew it was just a matter of time before he broke through. I didn't expect it to be so quickly, but again, I reminded myself, this was the man I was madly in love with.

"Let's do this," I whispered, feeling the life in my eyes come back. "Let's kill those bastards."

* * *

><p>AN: Soo...sorry for the long wait! I won't bore you with excuses; all I can say is: sick, tests, and books. Enough said. Shortish chapter, I know. Buuuut...they are back in action! :D

Thank you to the following people for reviewing:** Dragons-Twilight1992, xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx **(You shall see next chapter! :D),** Serenity84** (It will...eventually(:),** kcripep **(Thank you(:), **vampiregirl2014** (Rose and Dimitri agree with your sentiment :D),** MEEP (**Lmao, your review made me laugh hysterically xD Thank you very much and I'm glad you're glad I didn't kill a kid xD lol xD),** RozaRocks** (That's good! Mmhmm, they can(: Poor Rose, going off the deep end...)**, XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX** (lol, she is(: Nah, no fight(: He went after her!), **LanaW.81 **(Mmhmm(: I was sad to see him go :/ I think that shows in this chapter...Poor Rose...),** UmikaWaves** (THank you! You're the best! Sorry for such a long wait :/ It does! Thank you so much(: I try :D),** BiggestPolarBearFanEver **(Sorry :/ But it's getting better!),** Victoria Marie Dragomir **(Thank you so much! I love your writing too!), **aj davis **(THank you so much!), **Fiera Hathaway** (I'm glad too :3),** Rose-loves-Dimitri **(Lol, sorry! Haha yeah! Have you read any further in the series?)**, Do'B** (Nope, sorry :/ Thank you(: Lol xD Nope, she's nice(: Tehehe you shall see...All will be revealed next chaper. Jk, only most xD Clearly he does :D One more chapter!),** Kay1a** (Lol, don't worry, I know! Thank you so much(: You'll see next chapter(;), **chinita1** (You have nooo idea...(:),** LuPeters, Ruyametin** (Sorry for making you wait so long!),** LolitaPop27** (lol, sorry! xD He had no choice, remember? :P No one really knows what's happening outside of the Belikovs and Abe xD Lmao, until you said that, I didn't even realise that 'baby killer' was insulting themselves and not me by calling THEMSELVES 'Baby Killer' xD Made my day!)


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own VA, nor do I own Xavier anymore :'(

_So I'll find what lies beneath  
>Your sick twisted smile<br>As I lie underneath  
>Your cold jaded eyes<br>Now you turn the tide on me  
>'Cause you're so unkind<br>I will always be here  
>For the rest of my life<br>-What Lies Beneath, Breaking Benjamin _

RPOV:

I lay next to Dimitri on our hotel bed, staring at him.

"I miss Xavier," I whispered.

"I miss him too," Dimitri replied. He got a far off look in his eyes. "I miss his little laugh. And the way he would pull my hair when he wanted something. His brown eyes. I miss the way he called me daddy. I miss how he made you laugh. You both looked so happy around each other." His voice was thick with grief. "I miss his babbling. His innocence." Dimitri broke off with a sob. "I miss my little boy, Roza," he cried out.

I held Dimitri as he cried, gut-wrenching sobs wracking through his body. I allowed silent tears to pour down my face, mourning with Dimitri. We never truly mourned together, not like this, with nothing but pain and memories between us, but holding ourselves together with the help of the other.

We held each other, crying then simply talking about him, for over two hours. It felt good to let it all out. Before, I just kept the pain inside, blaming myself. Now, I let it all go, giving it to Dimitri who, in turn, gave me his. And as the moments passed, our bond strengthened, grew deeper. We would never be separated again.

"So you never told me," I began once we had been silent for ten minutes. "How did you find me?"

"Abe," Dimitri said simply.

I nodded. "Of course. He's been working nonstop since it happened," I said softly. "He's beyond livid. I almost feel bad for the people on the receiving edge of it." I paused. "I think he found who actually did it. Seneca's men, I mean."

"What?" Dimitri shot up. "Why didn't I know this?"

I shrugged, sitting up with him. "I'm not sure. Well, I'm pretty sure, but I'm not positive. He just said he found some people that might know who it was, but since they weren't useful, he...got rid of them," I explained.

Dimitri exhaled sharply. "And he didn't think we would want to be in on this?" Dimitri muttered darkly.

"Comrade," I said gently. "Calm down, okay? Let Abe have this much. The fact that he found them means that he's that much closer, okay? We may not have been able to punish the executioners, but Abe promised us whoever is behind this."

Dimitri sighed, but nodded. "Alright."

My phone rang at that moment. I frowned as I reached over to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Rose?"

"Oh, hey Tasha!" I said, surprised. "Why are you calling? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I just wanted to check up on you, and Dimitri's not answering his phone. He _is_ there with you, right?"

"Yeah, he is, don't worry."

"Lissa left for Lehigh," Tasha reported.

"Yeah, I know," I replied.

"Alexia is leaving tomorrow," she added.

"Alexia is still there?" I asked.

"Mmhmm. She's the one who suggested I call you to check up, actually."

"Oh," I mumbled, even more surprised. Maybe she wasn't as much of a bitch as I thought she was. "Do you need anything else?"

"Nope. Just...you are coming back, right?"

"Yeah, we are, Tasha. Don't worry," I assured her.

"Okay, good. I'd ask to join in, but, well, it's for you, so...enjoy. I'll go now," Tasha said.

"Okay. Well, it was nice talking to you. Thanks for the check up and, I'm assuming here, sending Dimitri to me," I said, smiling.

Tasha gave a little chuckle. "It's nothing, honey. He just needed a nudge in the right direction. You know how men are."

My smile widened. "Haha, yeah. Well, anyway, I need some food and sleep, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Alright. Enjoy your evening, sweetheart. Bye."

"Bye."

I clicked off the phone and turned back to Dimitri. "Well. That was interesting. So Tasha is the reason you came after me, huh?"

Dimitri smiled. "Yes. She yelled at me, actually. Well, not yelled, more like chastised."

I chuckled, imagining Tasha chastising Dimitri. I climbed out of bed.

"Hey, where are you going?" Dimitri exclaimed.

"To get food," I replied. "I was serious when I told Tasha I needed food, you know."

"Oh, okay," Dimitri said with a sigh. He lay back down. "Bring me something too, please."

I laughed. "Whoa, Comrade, never took you to be lazy."

Dimitri rolled his eyes. "Come on, Roza, hurry up. I've missed you."

"Alright, alright. Give me ten minutes," I grumbled, slipping on my shoes.

"Ten minutes is all you get," Dimitri warned. "After that, I'm coming after you."

I rolled my eyes. "Calm yourself, man. I won't disappear."

Dimitri swallowed. "No, no you won't, will you? But I'm not taking any chances."

My face softened. "I'll be fine, Comrade. Don't worry so much." I walked to the edge of the bed and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I love you, Roza," he murmured, twirling a piece of my hair on a finger.

"I love you too, Comrade," I whispered, kissing him one last time.

As I walked out of the room, my smile faded and an aching sadness filled me. While I was with Dimitri, the feelings kept at bay; mourning with him just now helped immensely, but I still missed Xavier terribly. I felt like a part of me was missing and I kept searching for that part, only to remember he was gone. Often I would reach my hand down to hold Xavier's just to shove it in my pocket when I remembered he was gone. I would wake up in the middle of the night and wander over to where he once slept, expecting to see his peaceful face but see nothing but emptiness. At times, I thought the emptiness would swallow me whole and I would join him. Sometimes I thought that was preferable, but then I remembered Dimitri, Lissa, my family and friends, and remembered I needed to stay strong for them.

I sighed softly, trying to shake the thoughts from my mind. I needed to focus. Dimitri and I would be staying in this hotel until the morning, when we would board the plane to go back to the United States. We'd left the Belikovs three days prior, taking a train all the way to Moscow. Now it was just a waiting game. I knew Abe could have gotten us on an earlier flight, but I wanted to do things properly. That, and I was slightly afraid to face Lissa, afraid she would turn me away. Catching up with Dimitri was simply an added bonus.

We were staying on the ground floor of the hotel and to get to the cafe, I had to walked all the way to the other side. It didn't bother me; after laying in bed for hours, I needed the exercise.

Getting a quick dinner for us, I decided to step outside for a few moments. I was still well within the ten minute limit, but the hotel felt suffocating. It wasn't grand, more of a small, middle class hotel. It had a homey feeling about it, but I had been cooped up all day and needed to see the sky, to remember where I was.

There was a brisk wind outside. I sat on the steps for a few moments, taking deep, calming breaths. The crying had left my face feeling hot and uncomfortable and the cold air soothed it. It was still winter and the cold soon penetrated my sweatshirt. Just as I stood up to go back inside, a shadow caught my attention. I jolt upright just as another shadow jumped at me.

I had the briefest moment of regret as I let the food drop before my attention was brought back to my attackers in the form of someone's foot.

_Shit._ I ducked, just as someone's fist shot at my stomach. The breath was knocked out of me, but I soldiered on as best as I could. I could only hope that Dimitri would get worried about my lack of return and come looking for me.

I let a fist fly, connecting with something as I kicked out my right leg, once more connecting. However, from behind me, some hit my back, then another two at my left side, and two more in the front. Just as I thought there was a chance with my right side, another two appeared. The numbers and lack of light simply overwhelmed me. Within moments, I was restrained between four people, one of which I realised with a shock was a woman. I desperately fought against them, but as my feet and arms were in the hands of others, I could do little. Frustrated tears formed in my eyes. I wasn't going to go down like this. My only comfort was that if they took me to whoever was behind all of this, Abe could possibly track me, but even that was far-fetched.

And then the door flew open and the angels sang. In the doorway, framed by the light and looking like an avenging demon stood Dimitri.

The people restraining me began backing up, but it was like trying to run a three-legged race while in a sack down a staircase: impossible. Dimitri was onto them in milliseconds. Since four of the six were carrying me, the remaining three jumped into action as my captors hobbled down the steps. I had to hand it to them; even though there was an attack behind them and I was fighting like there was no tomorrow, the four didn't so much as flinch, simply tried to hurry forward.

What they clearly hadn't expected was how fast the three others would become incapacitated. Dimitri wasn't holding out at all; on a good day, he could take on two Strigoi, no problem. Now that he had me to protect, he went ballistic. It took little more than a minute for the three attackers to be passed out at his feet – or dead, either or.

Then he was onto the group taking me away. As soon as I was released, I attacked with gusto. Thought they had surprised me once, never again. I was beyond mad. The fight lasted a mere minute. At the end of it, we had four bodies laying around us. One phone call to Abe and I had the best news I'd heard in a long time:

"We know exactly who it is."

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, she realised it too, and booked it out of there.<p>

Dimitri was in slight denial. "I can't believe she would do this. Why? I mean, yeah, I spurned he advanced but still. All this time...I can't believe...and it's all because...But..." Dimitri shook his head. "There's got to be another reason," he insisted. "Maybe Seneca is threatening her?"  
>I shook my head. "Dimitri, you are so in far denial, I don't know if you'll ever leave Egypt."<p>

Dimitri gave me a bewildered look.

"Denial? Like the Nile? You get it?"

Dimitri still looked lost.

I sighed. "Never mind. It's an English joke. Haven't you been in the US long enough to get these sort of things?"

Dimitri shrugged. "I've never heard that one. Just because I know English and have lived in the US for four, almost five, years, doesn't mean I understand every saying. But back to the issue..."

"Right, right. The girl was clearly in love with you. I mean, do you remember when she walked in on us flirting? She looked shattered." I scowled. "The bitch also killed my son. As soon as I get my hands on her, emotional pain will be the least of her concerns."

"But Alexia doesn't do things like this. She's quiet and nice," Dimitri protested.

"Dimitri, look. Abe traced the call to her cell phone. She gave the order. What Tasha's part in this is, I don't know. Maybe it was a wrong place, wrong time type of deal. I don't know. What I do know for a fact is that Alexia Alderidge killed my son and threatened everyone I love. She is _not_ getting away with this. I will find that bitch and I will take her down," I snarled.

Dimitri swallowed, then hardened his face. "You're right. For once, you're right. Whatever we had, whatever friendship, that's all gone now. She went too far." But still, he looked sad.

I decided to let his comment about my correctness slip, focusing instead on comforting him.

"Look, Dimitri, I know it's a shock, but I'm sure there's a good reason. I mean, there's no good reason for it, but I'm sure there's a reason. Maybe she's mad in love with you. That'd make me do crazy things too, you know. Maybe it's more. Maybe this is all just to get my father." Seeing him not looking very convinced, I took pity. "And maybe you're right. Maybe she's nothing more than an informant who was threatened. We won't know until we find her."

Dimitri nodded. "We'll do everything possible," he promised.

I glanced at my phone to make sure I hadn't missed any messages. "And I've got people on the lookout, too," I added.

I'd contacted all of my former mentors that I could find, asking them to help find Alexia. I'd given them a thorough description. With them on the look out, and Abe utilizing every resource he could, I had a feeling we would get to the bottom of this better than the FBI.

Dimitri patted my hand. "We'll get to the bottom of this," he comforted me.

I gave him a weak smile. "I hope so," I whispered.

Dimitri pulled me into his arms. "We will," he murmured into my hair. "We will."

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, how was that? I feel like it wasn't the best, but I kind of like it :D Who was expecting Alexia? And why is she doing it? I'll give you a hint: It's not about Dimitri this time! On a side note, Friday is my 17th birthday :D And since I'm eating breakfast as I'm writing this...has anyone ever had turkey bacon? It's surprisingly good. Odd flavor, but a good odd :P

Thank you to the following people for reviewing: **BiggestPolarBearFanEver** (Haha nice xD Is that a good story? I haven't read it yet...), **Kcripep** (thanks :3), **XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX** (Mmhmm :(), **0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (Yes, yes you can help! :D),** Kay1a** (Thanks :)), **Kahlessi10** (Thanks! Sorry I made you cry :/ they will figure it out, because they are Rose and Dimitri!),** Dragons-Twilight1992, Do'B** (No, no it doesn't xD But she did, thank God(: And everything is better now :D Mmhmm, I wanted it that way. I figured Yeva would have a lot to say this situation :D),** xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx (**Suspense: Over!), **AlyLuvsYou** (Ugh, don't you just hate it?), **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (ugh, I hate when that happens, although more often than not I'm the one spoiling things, accidentally, of course! It's such a good series! Have you read Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick? Such a good series!),** RozaRocks** (It was really sad :/ Mmhmm, that's what I was aiming for(: Yup, and she heard him! And now they have a target...),** jpitt** (she didn't know him at the time as her father), **UmikaWaves** (Thanks! Haha yeah, terrible combination. And yeah, they were outside of school books and I enjoyed them immensely, and no, you're not annoying me(: They will :D), **ClauIloveDimitriBelikov** (Mmhmm :/ But they will, of course they will!), **Fiera Hathaway** (Sorry for making you cry! mmhmm :D), and **mavebelikova**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own VA.

_I feel the love  
>And I feel it burn<br>Down this river every turn  
>Hope is a four letter word<br>Make that money  
>Watch it burn<br>Old, but I'm not that old  
>Young, but I'm not that bold<br>And I don't think the world is sold  
>I'm just doing what we're told<br>And I feel something so wrong  
>At doing the right thing<br>I could lie, could lie, could lie  
>Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly<br>Lately I been, I been losing sleep  
>Dreaming about the things that we could be<br>But baby I been, I been prayin' hard  
>Said no more counting dollars<br>We'll be counting stars  
>-Counting Stars, OneRepublic <em>

AlexiaPOV:

"You had one goddamned job! One!" Alexia screamed. "If you had that little whore, you would have everyone. But nooo! You couldn't manage to do even that!"

"watch yourself," Seneca growled on the other end. "Don't you know phone calls aren't safe? That's what found you in the first place!"

"Relax, it's a payphone. But dammit! How hard can it be!"

"You said she was by herself. I thought seven guardians would suffice," Seneca snapped.

"I thought so too," hissed Alexia. "I was told that she was by herself."

"Well, you were wrong and now what? You're of no use to me!"

Alexia growled. "I have been more useful to you than all of the pathetic, useless scumbags you call 'spies.' I have gotten you info you wouldn't have dreamed of in your wildest dreams." Alexia rubbed her eye, her contacts irritating her. Using the window opposite her, she carefully took out the contacts, revealing her dark brown eyes. Eyes so familiar...

"Next time, there will be no kidnapping," Alexia said, glaring at her reflection. "Just kill the bitch and get it over with."

"Kill Abe's daughter? I don't have a death wish, thank you very much. Simply holding her hostage and torturing her for a bit is good enough for me. He'll be eating out of the palm of my hand."

"Well, whatever it is you're doing, hurry up. I'm tired of this shit."

"Will do."

* * *

><p>We were sitting around the table at a small apartment Lissa was renting for this semester.<p>

"So who the hell is Alexia, anyway?" I asked, looking at the faces surrounding me. Dimitri, Abe, and Adrian, a highly unlikely group of people, brought together by horrible events. But isn't that how the story goes?

"I don't know," Dimitri replied, frustrated. "She's always been nice. A quiet girl, sad. She never spoke of her father. Her mother died when she was just a small child. I think she grew up with an aunt or something. We went to school together. She was in the grade below me, but two years younger. She was really smart. My senior year, we dated until I graduated. Then we parted as friends, realising that it wouldn't work out. That's all I really know."

"So she's...five years older than me?" I asked, puzzled. What would she want to do with me? She knew nothing about me!

"What was her last name again?" Abe asked, deep in thought.

"Alexia Alderidge, she said," I replied.

"She changed it, remember? She was formerly called Calloway," Dimitri corrected.

Abe straightened up. "Calloway? Why is that name familiar?" he asked, his dark brown eyes, twins of my own, boring into mine.

I shrugged. "I didn't recognize her at all. Never met her in my entire life."

Abe frowned. "There's something there, something I'm missing..." he trailed off. He thought for a long moment. "No, it can't be. Can it? I need to call Janine." He pulled out his cellphone and pressed a button. I could hear the phone ringing before the faint sounds of the voicemail piped up. "Dammit." Abe clicked it off before the beep. "I need to speak with her, because that's impossible. Absolutely impossible. I mean, I thought...it's been so long...she wouldn't..."

"Abe what is going on?" I demanded.

Abe raised his head to look at me. "Little girl, I may or may not be at fault for all of this, but I can't know for certain unless I speak with your mother. I think. I may need to check records..." he trailed off again and started mumbling to himself.

The three of us exchanged a glance.

"Mr. Mazur," Dimitri rumbled.

Abe waved him off. "I'll tell you once I know. I'm going to go now. I need to look for some papers. Stay safe. I'm only a phone call away," he told me, standing up.

"You're just...leaving?" I exclaimed, stunned.

Abe nodded. "I need to see something. I may get to the bottom of this," he muttered, looking wholly distracted.

"Okaaay...?"

Abe nodded and briskly walked out.

I turned to the guys. "Soo...what just happened?"

Dimitri and Adrian both shook their heads.

"So, Adrian, how did you get into contact with...her?" I wondered, having the feeling that I'd already heard it before. Adrian, being the awesome guy that he is, repeated himself without a word.

"Seneca approached me, threatened to hurt you and everyone I loved if I didn't bring Alexia with me to the lake house. I was going to simply cancel, but..." he trailed off. "She threatened my mom," he finished quietly.

I nodded thoughtfully. "That's what happened to me too. She's good, Seneca. Gives Abe a run for his money."

We sat in silence for several long moments. Adrian finally stood up. "I gotta go. Let me know if there's any new developments, okay?"

I nodded, absentmindedly playing with my hair. I listened to Adrian leave, the silence remaining.

Sadness crept into me. When Xavier had been around, there was rarely any silence. I jumped up abruptly, turning to Dimitri. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Make me forget," I pleaded.

Dimitri stared at me, horror-struck. "_What?"_

I nodded and practically leaped on him, smashing my mouth with his. Though we had technically gotten back together several days ago, we hadn't connected physically. Neither of us could handle it, but right now, that was the only way I could think to get away from everything.

"Please," I whispered again, pleading with my eyes.

Dimitri stared at me for a long moment before nodding slightly. That was all the sign I needed. I pressed my lips against his again, less violently this time. Immediately, Dimitri kissed me back. A certain kind of relief filled me. If I had Dimitri, I could do anything.

* * *

><p>Dimitri and I were still in bed when Lissa and Christian came back, their guardians following. Since I wasn't on official guarding duty, someone else watched Lissa during class while I tried to figure out what was happening.<p>

"Rose?" I heard her call. "Dimitri?"

Dimitri sighed and smoothed my hair back. "Yeah?" he called.

"Oh, you're here." Her voice moved down the hall towards us.

"Should I warn her?" I asked lowly.

Dimitri shrugged, indicating it was my choice. I chose not to.

Her footsteps got closer until they reached our door. Without knocking, Lissa opened the door. "I was just worried sin-Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lissa cried out, her eyes wide as she took us in.

We were laying cuddled up naked in bed. I let a smirk slide onto my face. "Payback's a bitch."

Lissa turned around and walked out, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Well, that went well," I sighed.

We didn't move from our position, though we needed to. At first, I thought it was because I was too comfortable and didn't want this moment to end, but then I realised I was waiting, expecting something that would _make _us get up. I was waiting for Xavier to come bounding into the room, jumping onto our bed after being outside. Nothing happened. Nothing would happen. Xavier was lost forever.

My shoulders slumped.

"I know," Dimitri murmured. "We should get up."

I nodded in response but stayed still. I didn't have the energy for it yet. Sounds of Christian clattering in the kitchen floated to us, but still we lay together.

"Alright," Dimitri finally said, sitting up. "Come on, laying here all day won't do anyone any good."

I gave him a small smile and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

Dimitri got out of bed and stretched. "It was fun, though." He flashed me an appreciative smile as I climbed out of bed after him.

I rolled my eyes. "You are such a _guy._"

Dimitri shrugged and walked over to wrap his arms around me. "Yeah, well, I have a gorgeous woman who just climbed out of my bed. What do you expect?"

I gave an exasperated sigh and rolled my eyes again. "Come on, we need to get dressed."

We slowly got ready, helping each other dress. It was peaceful and pleasant. A lot like before, although an undertone of pain lingered.

Once we were dressed, Dimitri held out his hand. I took it and together we trekked down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Something smells good," I commented, sniffing the air.

Christian passed me on the way to the stove and took a long sniff. "Certainly not you. You smell of sex and sweat. The least you could do is take a shower."

"Nah, I'm good. We'll take a shower later. Together, you know, to conserve water and all that," I replied.

Christian snorted. "I'm shocked you even know what the word conserve means," he shot back.

"What's for dinner?" I asked, changing the subject. Truthfully, I knew we should have taken a shower after all of that, but I didn't want to wash the memory of it off just yet, as weird as it sounded. It felt like once I washed all the evidence off, it would be like it never happened at all. At the moment, that was all I was clinging to.

"Spaghetti and meatballs with homemade sauce," Christian answered.

"Mm, smells really good."

Christian nodded. "Now get out of my kitchen before you manage to burn the food by looking at it."

"I am not that bad!" I huffed.

"Suuure you're not," Christian drawled. "Now out. Dimitri, get your girlfriend out of here before she ruins the food."

Dimitri chuckled. "Come on, Roza, let's leave him before he has a heart attack."

I stomped out angrily, Dimitri's laughter following me.

"Did he kick you out too?" Lissa asked sympathetically as I collapsed on the couch next to her.

I nodded.

"It's okay. At least this way we'll get dinner that much faster since you won't be distracting him by arguing."

"I am not that bad!" I protested.

Dimitri came in and sat next to me, his arm resting on the back of the couch behind me.

Lissa studied me for a long moment. "No, you're not that bad. Not anymore." Her eyes darkened with sadness and sorrow sang through the bond. "You're not much of anything anymore. Nothing but sad and angry and in pain. And I miss you. I hope you find peace and I hope I can help you find it." Lissa's cool hand squeezed my own.

I looked down at our hands and was struck by the difference. My hand was tan, scarred and calloused, rough from years of training and fighting. Hers was pale, smooth and soft, manicured to perfection. Yet she was comforting me, going out of her way to make sure I was okay and let me know she was there for me. I could feel her love for me, her empathy for what I was going through, her hope that I could get through this, surging through the bond. Letting go of her hand, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you, Lissa. You've helped me much more than I could ever ask for. I'll get through this, don't worry," I mumbled into her ear.

Lately, she'd cut back on using any magic unless it was necessary and no longer took unnecessary risks. No more shopping out in the human world, no more random trips to busy places. She stuck close to her guardians, making my job of protecting her much easier and less worrying. She'd become very caution about telling things to people, and I loved her all the more for it.

"Dinner's ready!" Christian called, breaking our moment.

We pulled apart and I was surprised to feel tears in my eyes. "You're the best sister I have ever had," I announced.

Lissa giggled. "I'm your only sister."

I waved it off. "Close enough."

* * *

><p>Almost a week went by without a word from my father. However, I received other news, news much more important to me than Abe's affairs. Alexia was found by a friend.<p>

"Alright, how far away is that from where I am?" I asked, phone pressed close to my ear. Around me, everyone was silent, waiting with bated breath.

"About five hours, give or take. I'll make sure she stays here, don't worry," John Arbuckle, a guardian I had met during my travels, assured me.

I nodded though he couldn't see me. "Okay, we'll be there asap." I ended the call, turning to my friends. "In the car, Comrade."

Dimitri nodded, already armed with stakes and guns, along with a baton, like the kind police used.

"I'll call Abe on the way," I continued, grabbing my jacket. "Lissa, you, and Christian are staying here, Adrian you can come with if you're careful."

"Hey, why does he get to go?" Lissa asked, outraged.

"Because he can do compulsion and can fight, somewhat. I'm not going to endanger you, Liss. Now, stay in the house and don't follow me, please. This is something I have to do and I can only do it if I know you're safe." I read the mutiny in the bond and softened my voice. "Liss, there's no need for you to go. If anyone gets hurt, Adrian can heal them. I need to do this for my son. And I need you to stay safe while I do it. Please, if not for me, then for Xavier. Stay here, okay?"

Lissa hesitated but nodded, tears in her eyes. "Be safe, Rose, please. I can't lose you too."

I pecked her on the cheek and gave her a quick hug. "I will, promise. You won't lose me."

I glanced at Christian and gave him a quick hug too. "Keep her safe," I murmured before pulling away.

Christian gave me a single nod in understanding.

I spun around and walked out the door, not once looking back. Alexia had been found and now there was hell to pay, courtesy of a pissed off Rose Hathaway.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, so, scary thought: this story has only three chapters before the end. I know, I was shocked too. Freaked out, too! Like, wow, it's almost over...

Anyway, sorry for the long wait, once more. But, well, finals, I'm sure most (if not all) of you know what that's like.

What do you think of the casting? I love it. Jesse is gorgeous, Mason is adorable and Mia...well, Mia is perfect once she gets some blonde ringlets :D

Thank you to the following for reviewing:** missvalover94** (hm...something close...(;),** Fiera Hathaway** (You'll have to wait until the next chapter, though. This was more of a transition chapter than anything :P)**, RozaRocks (**Mmhmm, it was really sad :/ You shall see it all revealed next chapter :D), **bboop12** (Yesh :3 Lol, you'll see (;), **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (I must restate this: I LOVE PATCH 3 But do you know why?),** cmarseilles **(Thanks :3), **Kay1a** (Mmhmm :(),** xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx** (Mhmm. Now they're really going after her!)**, Victoria Marie Dragomir, ClauIloveDimitriBelikov** (Now they're happy together in the beginning :D Hm. Not quite...)**, jpitt **(Aww, thanks :3 As for Dimitri not figuring it out...he knew. He always did. He was just letting Rose figure it out on her own :P As for Tasha...you shall see :D)**, aj davis** (;),** BiggestPolarBearFanEver **(Lol, I love it too!),** tbrett29 **(Thank you soo much! I'm sorry I made you cry :( I didn't like Xavier dying either...)**, loventherussian17, BuffyLover75 **(Thanks(: I don't like that part either! Don't worry, you shall see soon(:)


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own VA.

_I used to rule the world  
>Seas would rise when I gave the word<br>Now in the morning I sleep alone  
>Sweep the streets I used to own<em>

_I used to roll the dice_  
><em>Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes<em>  
><em>Listen as the crowd would sing<em>  
><em>"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"<em>

_One minute I held the key_  
><em>Next the walls were closed on me<em>  
><em>And I discovered that my castles stand<em>  
><em>Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand<em>

_-Viva La Vida, Coldplay. _

RPOV:

As soon as we were in the car, I tossed my phone to Dimitri.

"Call Abe," I snapped. "Tell him we're headed to Bradford. Comfort Inn. That's where the bitch is."

Before I finished speaking, I was already tearing down the road, breaking every traffic law possible.

Dimitri said nothing, simply dialing Abe's number. "Abe. We found her. Comfort Inn, Bradford." He listened for a moment. "We're on the way there right now." Pause. "No. See you there." _Click. _

"What'd he say?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the road as I passed a car going the speed limit.

"That he wanted us to wait for him," Dimitri said tersely. "To wait for him and he would take us there. I said no. He can catch up with us."

I stayed silent. I'd just realised that Alexia, or whatever her real name was, was an ex of his and an old friend. What must he be going through? I tried to imagine someone, maybe Adrian, doing that to me, and shuddered. I couldn't imagine it, couldn't handle it.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Dimitri didn't answer.

"Comrade," I began.

"She killed my son, Roza," he snapped, whipping his head to stare at me. I could see the burning in his eyes out of the corner of my eye, _feel _it. "I – dammit, I hate her. They say there's a fine line between love and hate. That line just vanished. That _сука_...I am going to make her suffer. I am going to _kill_ her, rip her life away from her just like she did Xavier's. I am going to make her pay for every bit of hurt she made you suffer. I don't give a _damn_ why she's doing this. She can rot in hell for the rest of her existence for all I care. I will _make sure _she does!"

I pressed my lips together, not responding to his outburst for several long minutes. Cars, trees, houses, road all flashed by.

"Dimitri..." I trailed off. How do I respond? "I –" I slammed on the breaks as the car in front of us stopped due to a red light. I muttered several expletives under my breath. In the brief paused, I twisted in my seat to look Dimitri in the eye. "Comrade, I'm just as pissed as you. Actually, I'm sure you're more pissed and hurt because she is – was – your friend. But we need her alive. Now, there are many degrees of alive, remember that. Just...let's keep her contained until Abe gets there. Okay? I actually want to know what her big issue is."

Dimitri glared out the window for a moment before giving a stiff nod. I reached over and squeezed his hand before putting it back on the steering wheel. The light turned green and we just started moving when the phone rang, startling us. Dimitri answered it.

"Yes?" Pause. "No, we're not. Meet us there. We'll wait. Keep her there and alive." Pause. "I don't know, it's one of Rose's contacts." He glanced at me. "Rose, how do we know where she is?"

"One of the guardians I trained with is staying there with his charge. He recognized her in the hallway, heading to her room, based on the description I gave him. He's making sure she stays at the hotel until we get there," I replied.

Dimitri repeated what I told him. "Are you positive he's right?"

"Even if he's not, I'm going to make sure," I said grimly.

Dimitri relied what I had said, then hung up. We drove in silence for a long time, gradually relaxing.

"What are we going to do once we get there?" Dimitri asked.

"Find out what room she is in, storm the room and block off all exits then...have some fun as we wait for Abe," I replied, shrugging.

"...That's a terrible plan, Roza," Dimitri pointed out.

"You got a better one?" I shot back.

Dimitri sighed. "Okay, I suppose that'll work. How do we keep from anyone investigating what all the noise is about?"

"John, the guardian, will probably help us with that. Worst comes to worst, we'll pull the fire alarm. It'll buy us some time."

"Alright," Dimitri said quietly. "Just be careful, alright? I need you to be safe and okay."

"You too, Comrade. We're almost there. About a half an hour longer."

Dimitri shook his head, a half smile on his lips. "Only you can cut a five hour drive into a three hour one."

I grinned. "You know it!"

The closer we got to the building, the tenser we became.

"There it is," Dimitri muttered, eyes narrowed, as the inn came into sight.

I parked near the entrance, my focus on the windows. A curtain twitched in a second floor window before opening fully to reveal John. He gave us a single nod before holding up two fingers, followed by three. Second floor, third room, I took it to mean. I gave a nod back. He pointed to his left, my right, before disappearing from view. _Go right._

I took a deep breath. "Ready, Comrade?"

"As ever," Dimitri replied.

Together, we climbed out of the car, our doors shutting simultaneously. We met at the front of the car and together walked toward the right side of the building. At the door there, a young Moroi met us.

"Rose and Dmitri? Friends of John?" the man said.

I nodded. "You are...?" Both of my eyebrows raised.

"I'm his Moroi. Jason Badica," the man answered. "Come this way."

Jason stepped back, allowing us to step into the building.

"This is the back door," he said. "Residents can use it if they so wish."

We were in a hallway, doors on either side at even intervals. Each door had a shiny number on it. The hallway was well lit and carpeted, seeming like a cozy place to stay.

Jason led us to a staircase, then up to the second floor. There, in front of the third door to the left, we met with John.

"Sh," John held a finger to his lips, silently pointing to the door he was standing in front of. _4B _sat gleaming upon the light paint of the door. John pointed to Dimitri and motioned to the right, then pointed to me and pointed to the left. Dimitri and I nodded, understanding. Then he pointed to himself and Jason, then pointed a finger to the floor, indicating that they would stay here. We nodded again.

I moved closer to Dimitri, stretching up on my tippy toes to whisper into his ear. "Take the window."

Dimitri nodded and reached down to squeeze my hand. He gave me an encouraging smile that I returned, then lifted three fingers.

All of us nodded at each other, silently wishing everyone luck. Then, Dimitri counted down from three and we flew into action.

I raised his foot and slammed it against the door. The flimsy wood was never meant to stand against the powerful kick of a person used to slaying Strigoi and gave way immediately. Dimitri flew in and stationed himself before the window as I slipped in right after as John put the door back in its frame and stood guard.

In the small room, Alexia sprung from the bed she had been resting on. Her eyes widened as she saw that she was closed in. I moved swiftly, standing near the bed, in the way of the bathroom door. There wasn't any danger of her slipping through the door with John there.

"What are you doing here?" Alexia gasped out, looking wildly between Dimitri and I.

"Payback," I hissed, grabbing her by the hair in a move so quick she had no chance to retaliate.

Using her hair as a sort of leash, I yanked her away from the bed and threw her down on the floor between Dimitri and me. Not allowing her the chance to gain any strength, I planted my foot into her stomach, vaguely hearing something snap. Perhaps a rib?

Seeing her so healthy, so well rested made me see red. Never before had I felt such pure hatred toward a person. This woman here was the reason I had lost three years with my friends and family. She was the reason why Dimitri had lost three years with his son, the reason we could never get those years back because he was now dead. The reason I had lived in fear for my loved ones' lives for three years. The reason I had nearly lost everything. The reason behind my lack of a happy ending.

"You bitch!" I screamed, kicking her again. I lost it then. I released every bit of anger and hurt and agony and hate that was within me, onto her. "You're the reason! You hurt me! You hurt my best friend! My love! My son! My family! My friends! You're going to die! And rot in hell for all eternity!" Every word was punctuated with a punch, a kick, a slap. I was no longer screaming words, simply yelling incoherently.

"I hate you! I hate you!" I finally collapsed, tears streaming down my face as sobs wracked my body. Dimitri caught me before I could hit the floor, holding me close to his chest. Slowly, he sat down, cradling me in his lap. He whispered soft words in Russian into my ear as we watched Alexia's twitching body lying in a heap of blood and broken bones.

Finally, I calmed down enough to be able to breathe normally.

"All that pain, all that suffering, and for what?" I asked quietly, my voice hoarse. "Nothing. That's what."

An odd sound escaped the lump that was Alexia. For a second, I thought she was in her death throes before Dimitri's furious expression told me differently. I realised she was laughing. After a long minute of the broken laughter, Alexia raised her head with effort, her face unrecognizably bloody and shattered.

"You have no idea who I am. You have no idea what you've done to me. You think what I did was bad? Nothing like what you did." Her words dissolved into hysterical laughter again.

Dimitri's body tensed and I could see he was about to lose his temper. I stayed quiet, calmed now. Carefully, Dimitri slid me off his lap before standing up. He moved toward Alexia with a deadly calm. He stood over her for a long moment, listening to her laughter and occasional 'you don't know.' Then, as if he was doing nothing more than picking a shirt off the floor, he took a fist full of Alexia's hair and raised his arm, forcing her to stand up, ignoring her hiss of pain. His face was blank, but his eyes were a storm of fury. This wasn't my Dimitri. This was the Dimitri who lost his son, his love, his everything, because of the woman in his hand. This was scary Dmitri, one I hoped to never meet again.

"If we know so little," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but more threatening for it, "then why don't you enlighten us?"

Alexia, even in her delirium, had the sense to be scared. "You know, Dimka," she lamented. "You know better than anyone. I gave you my heart, my soul."

Dimitri's eyes were nearly black with his anger. "_You have no soul,_" he hissed. "_Now speak!"_

Alexia's eyes widened, fear covering her face. She turned her head as much as she could toward me, raising a single shaking finger to stab in my direction. "It's all your fault! You have ruined him, just like you ruin everything else!"

Dimitri yanked her hair so that her head was tilted up at him, causing an involuntary cry of pain to escape her lips.

"Answer me! NOW!" he roared, glaring at her so fiercely I was afraid she would burst into flames.

"It's her fault!" Alexia screeched so loudly, my ears protested. "She took my father from me! It's her fault Daddy never loved me! HER FAULT! She took you from me! That was supposed to be our little boy! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL! I WAS THERE FIRST!"

Before Alexia could continue, the door burst open. Dimitri and I whipped our heads toward it to see who it was, but Alexia continued to cry pathetically.

"Little girl," Abe breathed.

It seemed like the cavalry was here.

* * *

><p>I stared at the candle, mesmerized by the flickering light. The whiskey in my glass was cool where it rested against my forehead. Dimitri sat silently beside me.<p>

Lissa's apartment was dark, everyone having long ago gone to sleep. There was only Dimitri, me, a bottle of Jack Daniel's and a candle between us.

"Not the romantic night most couples would want," I said dryly, breaking the silence.

"No," Dimitri sighed, leaning forward, his head resting in his hands.

"Has Abe contacted you at all?"

A head shake in response.

"What could be taking so long? It's not so hard to kill an already broken person." Bitterness seeped into my tone.

"There wasn't any other way, Roza," Dimitri said softly.

"It's a waste, that's what it is," I snapped, careful to keep my voice down so as to not wake anyone else. "Put her into therapy, a mental hospital. She's clearly damaged."

"Honey, she had our son killed. I can't forgive that. You're much more forgiving than me, I know, but I don't see how even you can look past it. It's not your fault," he added, seeing me about to open my mouth. "Whatever really happened, it's not your fault. She was damaged long before you came along. It's not your fault. If anything, it's Abe's."

I looked away from his probing eyes. I took a sip of the Jack in my glass, enjoying the burning sensation of the whiskey as it made its way down my throat and pooled in my belly, creating a warm spot of comfort.

"Roza, look at me."

I shook my head. Dimitri sighed and took the glass out of my hand before taking my hands in his. "Roza, it's not your fault. Believe me. How could it have been your fault if you didn't even know of her existence until just a couple months ago?" I stayed silent, staring at the candle again. "Roza, you don't even know what happened yet. Let's just wait for Abe and he'll clear everything up. Okay?" Dimitri squeezed my hands, trying to get my attention. "Roza? Okay?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, okay."

Dimitri let out a long breath and leaned back, running a hand over his face. "Come here."

I stood up and, taking my glass with me, rounded the table until I stood in front of Dimitri. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I shifted so I was in a more comfortable position, cuddled against his chest, my head in the crook of his neck. Dimitri rested his chin on my head and rocked us gently.

It was peacefully here, in his arms. No harm had ever come to me here. This was a safe place, way from all the monsters and hurt. I stretched my arm out to put my glass on the table, but couldn't quite reach it. Dimitri took it from me and placed it where I wanted it, before folding his arms around me. I put my now empty hand on his chest, right over his heart. Closing my eyes, I let out a long breath, enjoying the shiver I felt run through Dimitri's body. Letting the beating of his heart calm me, I soon found myself dozing off.

I must have slept for little more than an hour before the opening of the front door jerked me out of my slumber. I sat up, knocking heads with Dimitri in my sudden movement.

"Ouch," Dimitri muttered, rubbing his jaw where my forehead had knocked into it.

I giggled softly. "Sorry, love." I pressed my lips on the hurt spot in a quick kiss. "There, all better."

Dimitri smiled down at me, about to answer, just as the reason for the little mishap made itself known to us.  
>"I should have known you two would wait up."<p>

I jumped out of Dimitri's arms and practically flew to my father, Dimitri on my heels. "Abe! You're here! Back! What happened?"

Abe smiled tiredly down at me. "It's over, honey."

I stared. "What? Just like that?"

Abe nodded. "Well, actually, no, not just like that, but yes. I had a...little talk with Seneca, shall we say. Let me just put it this way: she knows not to mess with me anymore. At least for a while. She'll bounce back, but she'll have to go through an army to get to you. Or your friends."

"What – how?"

Abe shook his head and sat in a chair. "There's some things you don't need to know."

By the tired, worn out look on Abe's face, I had the feeling that I should believe him.

"So, what was it all about? I mean, the whole thing?" I didn't know if what I said made any sense, but I didn't know how to make myself clearer without saying _her_ name.

"I – I'm sorry, Rose. I really am." Suddenly, he looked old. Old_er_.

"Dad..." I whispered.

"It's all my fault, honey." Abe closed his eyes, sighing.

I settled myself in a chair next to him, Dimitri moving to stand behind me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Dad," I repeated. "What happened?"

Abe sighed again. "Before I fell in love with your mother, I was in a relationship with a Moroi woman by the name of Sofia Calloway. It wasn't really anything serious and we broke it off after a few months. Five years later, I met your mother. We had a beautiful romance. We fell in love. I thought we were going to be forever. I was so happy, so excited when I found out that Janine was pregnant. This was it, I thought. I was finally going to have my very own family. You were born, Rose, and you were the most beautiful baby in the world. I fell in the love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. For four wonderful years, we lived together and we raised you together. And then you turned four and suddenly Janine changed. She began distancing herself away from me, from you. She would take you with her to guard duty – she was a guard at court at the time, I wasn't yet powerful enough to have my own – and she would leave you with a Moroi to watch over you. I barely saw you all summer. Business on my end didn't help, of course. But still, I made time. Then the fall neared. Janine said she was going to enroll you at an Academy. She wouldn't tell me which one. I begged and pleaded for her to let you stay but she kept saying it wasn't safe, that you needed to be raised as a guardian in the safety of the Academy. In the end, her argument for your safety won. I agreed to send you away. Then she left me. Just up and left. Made me promise to not contact you, at least until you were eighteen and could make that decision for yourself, then just walked away. I was destroyed. Devastated. Barely a year had gone by, and then this child appeared on my doorstep. A ten year old little girl, calling herself Alexia and claiming to be my daughter. I was in no right state of mind to deal with a child, not when I'd just lost you and your mother. So I took it out on Alexia. Unintentionally, you must understand. She was blonde, much like her mother, with my eyes. She looked much like her mother and very little like you. I spent most of those two or three years drunk, doing things I normally wouldn't. I would often comment how she was nothing like you. Even as a child, you were a fighter. We would wrestle all the time. Alexia was content to play dolls, or play music, make up little songs. She wasn't _you_ and I couldn't forgive her for it. I sent her off to school too. She would come back on the holidays, but by the time I finally gathered myself, I had no time for her. I spent every moment looking after you, making sure you were okay, keeping out of trouble." Abe released a shaking breath. "It was due to my neglect that she ended up that way. Now..." Abe shook his head and lifted a shaking hand to wipe a tear off his cheek. "I'm a terrible father. I did both my girls bad."

"Oh, Dad," I breathed. I could figure out the rest of the story. She'd fallen for Dmitri, just like I had, and when she saw us so happy together, it pushed her off the edge she was already teetering precariously over. "It's not your fault, Dad. Well, yeah, it kinda is, but you didn't mean it."

Abe pressed his lips together. I got out of my chair, Dimitri's hands sliding off my shoulders. Keeling beside Dad's chair, I wrapped my arms around him in a bittersweet hug, this day finally over.

*сука: pronounced suka: bitch

* * *

><p>AN: Wow...this ending made me all sad :/ Hey, sorry for such a long wait! You would have had this chapter last weekend, but I had a kidney stone and for those readers who might have had one, you know how painful it is. If you don't know how painful it is, I hope you never find out. This is the first day since last Saturday that I've gone a full day without pain. Mostly. But anyway...What do you think? There's only...two? Chapters left...Yup, only two. Well, one and an epilogue. I'm gonna be really sad to see this one go. Oh, well, I have about 30 other ideas! :D

Anyway, thank you to the following people for reviewing: **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (Now we're down to two...:/), **kcripep, Guest** (Of course I will! You can't keep me from it :D),** Dragons-Twilight1992, 0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (Sorry for the lack of soon update! Enough revenge for you?),** RozaRocks** (Yup, they're half sisters. Poor Alexia :/ Yup, Rose sure beat her :)), **bboop12** (Haha nope, her father's. I know, right? They started filming! :D),** Do'B** (Oh, well, you caught up(: No, but they can move on(: And who knows? I don't believe they used protection last time...(; Nope, no pity there! Poor Rose, though. She has such a good heart :/ Well, she knew that something bad would happen, she just didn't know exactly what. Did Dimitri address it enough? :D), **BiggestPolarBearFanEver** (oops, I forgot about Adrian...I'll bring him back next chapter! You found out! :D),** Victoria Marie Dragomir** (Thanks(:),** jpitt** (He was looking for whether or not she was indeed his daughter :P that will be explained next chapter),** xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx** (Yes :3),** AlyLuvsYou** (Yes, you were right(: Sorry for such a long wait, though :/), **Jennifer** (YEah...:/)**, Dilla** (Haha nope! Hey, we should totally update our story xD Ttyl!).


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own VA :P

_I thought love was  
>Only true in fairy tales<br>Meant for someone else  
>But not for me<br>Love was out to get to me  
>That's the way it seems<br>Disappointment haunted  
>All my dreams<em>

_And then I saw her face_  
><em>Now I'm a believer<em>  
><em>Not a trace<em>  
><em>Of doubt in my mind<em>  
><em>I'm in love<em>  
><em>I'm a believer<em>  
><em>I couldn't leave her<em>  
><em>If I tried<em>

_I'm a Believer, Smashmouth _

RPOV:

I stood watching, numb, as they lowered the coffin into the ground. I didn't know if that coffin contained a body, nor did I want to.

It has been a week since Alexia was discovered and died. After the initial shock, I found myself unable to forgive Abe just yet. I also found myself mad at my mother. If she hadn't insisted that Abe's job was too dangerous, none of this would have happened, and I would have grown up with my father and half-sister.

It was still weird to think of Alexia, the girl who tried to kill me and had my only son killed was actually related to me. Maybe that was why I felt obligated to give Alexia a funeral, a final resting place.

Abe had been very willing, arranging everything. Despite the fact that she tortured me and everyone around me, I didn't think she deserved to die. She needed mental help. She needed a family to love her. But now it was too late. A sigh escaped my lips.

Next to me, Dimitri squeezed my hand. "Are you alright?" he murmured in my ear.

I nodded. "Yeah," I whispered back. "Just...it seemed unnecessary to actually, you know, kill her. His own daughter. How could he do that?"

That part made no sense to me. How could a father kill his own daughter? Albeit, he didn't know her very well and hadn't seen her in years, but the fact still stood: she was his daughter. It made me reconsider Abe a lot. If he could kill his own daughter, what wouldn't he do?

"Rose, don't think about it. He was only protecting you," Adrian whispered in my ear, leaning forward from the row behind me.

"But did he have to kill her?" I muttered, scowling. I didn't like the reminder that this was all my fault.

"It's not your fault," Dimitri murmured.

"It was the only way," Adrian added.

I sighed.

"Rose, do you remember how you were when Xavier died?" Adrian asked.

I tensed but nodded.

"Abe was the exact same way. He didn't want his little girl to die. Tell me you wouldn't do the same if it was your child. Hell, you almost did do the same thing! You can't hate him forever and you can't blame yourself," Adrian said, his voice rising.

"I know, but..." I trailed off with another sigh.

It was difficult coming back to the real world. I was still stuck on the fact that it was now safe, or as safe as it would ever be. Abe refused to tell me what all happened with Seneca and Alexia, stating only that it was over and some things are best left unsaid. I had the inkling that Abe threatened Seneca, maybe even hurt her. I'm sure seeing the dead body of his own daughter showed exactly how far he was willing to go. I'd be hesitant to retaliate after that too.

The funeral was over quickly. No one had anything to say; most of them were there solely because I insisted upon it. It was a beautiful spring day, bird were chirping, the sun was out. It seemed much too cheerful for a funeral but I reminded myself that I can't stop living. People die every day; look at Strigoi.

Dimitri led me to our car. Everyone was piling back in their respective cars and leaving. Just as I closed the door, I glanced around, realising Abe wasn't here.

"Where's Abe?" I wondered out loud.

"I think he stayed behind at the grave," Dimitri answered softly.

I looked toward the cemetery, but couldn't see the site from where I was. "Should we wait for him?"

Dimitri shook his head and started the car. "No, he'll come back when he wants to."

I nodded. "Okay."

As we pulled out, I finally saw Abe. He was hunched over the freshly covered grave, his head bowed. The brief glimpse I got made my heart ache.

"He regrets it," Dimitri said quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"Everything. Not spending time with her. Allowing it to get this far. Leaving you." Dimitri shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road. "I think part of him wonders if you could have ended up that way. The what ifs are probably killing him."

"I never thought of it that way," I mumbled. I couldn't imagine something so big on your shoulders. Killing your own daughter to protect the other one? Knowing that if you had only paid a little more attention to her it would have never gotten this far? I shook my head. "It's sad."

Dimitri nodded. "It is. But the past is the past. We shouldn't focus on it."

I knew that Dimitri was thinking of Xavier's funeral. I was too. My heart ached. I'd been to too many funerals in the last year. I was tired of all of this sadness and pain hanging around me. I wanted ot stop it, to feel normal. I didn't know how though. All of our problems were gone. Shouldn't everything go back to normal? But no; the marks Xavier's death left on us, the marks Alexia left on us wouldn't go away for a long time.

"I miss him," I whimpered softly.

"I do too."

We drove in silence until we reached Lissa's apartment. It struck me as almost frivolous that throughout this whole ordeal, Lissa still went to college and I still guarded her. Shouldn't the world be changed irreversibly after everything that's gone down? Shouldn't there be outside affects? Some kind of evidence of what we all went through?

But no. There was nothing. Still everyone went about their daily lives. Still everyone had to work, talk, eat, live. Nothing changed on the outside. On the inside, we were all different, however. I could see it in Adrian's eyes, in Dimitri's, in mine. Everyone was affected by this, in ways it would take therapists years to uncover.

We sat around the table, a gloomy silence surrounding us. Abe was still at the cemetery and Janine had left immediately to go back to her charge, no goodbyes said. Adrian said in front of me, while Dimitri and Lissa sat on either side of me. Christian sat between Lissa and Adrian while Eddie sat on the other side of Dmitri. I knew there were guardians elsewhere in the house and on the grounds but I ignored them for the time being.

"I heard that Alexia was threatening Seneca with Abe," Adrian suddenly said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my brow furrowed.

"I mean, Alexia was threatening Seneca with Abe. Like, if you don't do what I say, I'm gonna go to Daddy sort of thing," Adrian explained.

"Oh, wow. Two faced bitch much?" I muttered. Slowly, I was starting to feel less sorry for my half sister. I mean, look at me. I didn't know my father _or_ my mother growing up but I didn't turn into a bitter old harpy.

"Rose!" Lissa scolded me.

I rolled my eyes. "It's true."

Dimitri just shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. Soon, however, it faded.

"What do we do now?" he questioned.

"Move on," Adrian replied, shrugging.

I was stunned. How do you just move on from something like that? It had been my life for almost five years. I'd gotten so used to being scared and nervous and angry and cautious, I didn't know if I could ever go back to normal. Dimitri seemed to agree with me, but not vocally. His hand slipped down to hold mine.

"Let's go talk somewhere," Dimitri murmured into my ear.

I nodded standing up. "I'm gonna lay down," I said casually. "I feel a headache coming on."

Lissa nodded in response, looking at me sympathetically. "Feel better Rose." She seemed to know better than to ask to heal me.

Christian and Adrian, on the other hand, gave me sly looks. "Aren't you going to go make sure your girlfriend is alright, Dmitri?" Adrian asked, smirking.

I rolled my eyes at them as Dimitri agreed. "Good point," he said seriously. "Come on, Rose. It's been a long day."

It took everything in me to not crack up at his words. Instead, I walked out of the room.

"You're a terrible liar," I said, amused, as Dimitri closed the door to our room.

Dimitri rolled his eyes. "You're not exactly subtle yourself," he joked.

I shrugged and began taking off the clothes I'd worn to the funeral: black slacks and white button down blouse. Dimitri sat on the bed, watching me.

Once I'd changed into more comfortable clothes, namely Dimitri's t-shirt and a pair of shorts, I lay on the bed and patted the spot next to me. "Lay down with me," I said.

Dimitri had changed into a pair of sweats and took his shirt off. He climbed in next to me and I cuddled into his chest. We lay there in silence for several long minutes.

I knew there were things that we needed to discuss, but I really didn't want to break the peace that was between us.

"So, now that everything is over, you're gonna go back to guarding Lissa, right?" Dimitri asked, stroking my hair gently.

"Mmhmm," I mumbled into his chest.

"And I'm going to go back to guarding Christian," Dimitri continued.

"Mmhmm," I mumbled again.

"Well, not that we ever stopped guarding them, but it's all back to normal now."

"Mmhmm."

"We're going to go back to college," Dimitri added.

"Mmhmm."

"And we are still going to be together," Dimitri finished.

"Mmhmm."

Dimitri sighed. I felt his chest go up and down as the air was released from his lungs. "Roza, we're going to have to talk about this," Dimitri warned.

"Mmhmm." I burrowed my face further into his chest.

"Roza..."

I sighed and lifted my head up. "Comrade, there's been so much going on. This is the first day where everything is even remotely normal. I know we need to talk, but can we save the discussion for later? Can we just relax and not worry for the day?" I pleaded.

Dimitri gave me a long look before nodding.

"Thank you," I said in a small voice.

"Nothing to thank me for, Roza," Dimitri said softly. "As long as you're happy."

Dimitri pulled me back onto his chest and we cuddled together for the rest of the day, simply enjoying each others company.

* * *

><p>The next few days were surreal. No one was used to lack of threat and no one was sure how to act, with the exception of Lissa and Christian, since they weren't really part of anything.<p>

Three days after the funeral, Abe dropped by for a visit.

We'd just come back from class and were sitting down for dinner when there was a knock on the door.

Cautiously, I opened the door to reveal my father.

"Hey, kiz," Abe said with a thin smile. "Mind if I come in? I'd like to talk to you."

I nodded and stepped back.

"Good afternoon, Lissa, Christian, Dimitri," Abe said, nodding to each person in turn.

"Hello, Mr. Mazur," Lissa answered while the two men simply nodded.

"Please, call me Abe," Abe assured her.

Lissa smiled. "I'll do my best."

An awkward silence hung over us before Abe turned to me. "Anyway, is there somewhere private we could talk?"

I nodded and lead him to my room.

"Look, Rose, I know I haven't been the best father to you. I mean, you didn't even know of my existence until you were eighteen." Abe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I never wanted it to be this way. I was just trying to protect you. But, as they say, no good deed goes unpunished." Abe sighed again. "But then, maybe it wasn't a good deed? Maybe I was being selfish. I don't know. I don't know a lot anymore. I'm sorry I hurt, sweetheart. I never wanted that. I hope that in time you will forgive me."

"Dad," I said sofly. "You did your best. I know it hurt you to do what you had to. I'm sorry, too. Maybe if I had done something differently-"

"No, Rose. None of this is your fault, I promise you. There was nothing you could have done," Abe interrupted me.

"I guess. But I just, I feel like I could have done something, you know?"

Abe nodded. "I think that every day. But just know that there's no one to blame but me, okay? I love you, kiz."

"I love you too, Dad. I forgive you."

Abe smiled at me. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around me in a long hug.

"I'm going to be going away for a bit, but just know that if you ever need anything, call, okay?" Abe said, pulling away.

"Where are you going?" I asked, frowning.

"Oh, here and there. I just need to figure some things out."

I nodded, understanding. This had hit him even worse than I had initially thought. "Well, take your time, and don't worry about me, okay? I have everything I need."

Abe smiled. "If you say so..."

"I do, promise."

"Just keep yourself safe, okay?"

"I will," I promised.

We sat in silence for a moment. Neither of us were good at goodbyes; came with the genes, I guess.

"I love you, Dad," I whispered, giving him one last hug.

"I love you too, kiz."

We walked back to the kitchen. Abe paused at the door.

"Take care, all of you. I'll see you all...whenever."

"Oh, you're leaving already?" Lissa exclaimed.

Abe nodded. "Yes, I must go. But I'll be there for your graduation, don't worry."

Lissa beamed with happiness. "Thank you so much!" she cried out, jumping up to hug Abe.

I just shook my head at her antics.

Abe left quickly, leaving behind a morose mood. I was sad to see him go, not knowing when the next I would see him, after graduation, of course.

That night, Dimitri and I cuddled in bed.

"He'll be fine, Roza. He'll be back before you know it," Dimitri assured me.

"I know, but I missed him already," I replied.

"I know, sweetie, I know." Dimitri kissed me on the forehead. "Now, Lissa and Christian are graduating soon. We need to talk about what happens afterward. I mean, as much as I love living with them, I would really love some privacy as well."

"Hm. Well, Lissa always said we would live in court in a house together, but now that mention it," I joked.

"Roza," Dimitri admonished me.

"I know, I know. We could simply live in the guardian quarters," I pointed out.

Dimitri nodded. "Good point. So, we're going to be living together, right?"

I barked out a laugh. "Of course, Comrade! What do you think we've been doing?"

Dimitri shrugged, looking sheepish. "Well, I wasn't sure if you would want to live with me once circumstances weren't forcing you too."

I did my best to keep a straight face. "You're right. I don't want to live with you. I really don't love you, I've just been staying with you because it's easy and we're forced to live together. I'm going to live with Lissa and Christian and be kept away by their sex sounds," I said seriously.

"Not funny, Roza," Dimitri said sourly.

I chuckled. "Sorry, you had that one coming."

"I know, I know," Dimitri sighed. He hesitated, then continued. "What about children, Roza?"

I tensed. I wasn't ready to have this conversation yet.

"I know you might not be ready, but Roza, we haven't used protection once since we've gotten back together," Dimitri pointed out.

My eyes widened. Though we weren't sex crazed as before (discovering your sister was the one trying to kill you then being the cause of her death didn't exactly increase anyone 's libido, unless they're psycho), the few times we had had sex, we hadn't used protection. Maybe because none of them were planned, or maybe because both of us were to emotionally unstable to even think of that, or maybe we were too caught up in the moment, but regardless of the reason, there was a very good chance that I was pregnant right now.

"Well, shit."

* * *

><p>AN: Haha yup, I'm mean :D Sooo...this is the last chapter. All that's left is the epilogue. Yup. Sorry it took so long to finish this. I didn't know how to finish it...anyway, my goal is to have the sequel to My Wish, Scarred, up before the end of the week! Maybe even soon after you read this! We shall have to see. Sorry about the really long wait for that! If you read it, you probably don't even remember what it's about xD

Thank you to the following people for reviewing: **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (You need to reply!), **bboop12** (Thank you very much and you're fine!),** 0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (Good. We aim to please ;)), **cmarseilles** (Thanks :3), **Dragons-Twilight1992** (Soon there won't be anymore :(),** Kay1a** (And more Abe crying :/), **RozaRocks** (Haha, yeah :P Lol, as long as it's not aimed at me, he is kinda sexy when angry (; No :/ But he still blames himself :P Lol, seems like they're going to have a child sooner than they expected ;) Tell me about it! U.U), **ClauIloveDimitriBelikov** (Yeah, it is kinda sad :/ His ghost moved on eventually. I'll mention that :P),** AlyLuvsYou** (Haha, yup :D),** jpitt **(Sadly, yes :/), **XxXRose-DimitriForeverXxX **(Sorry it took so long!),** Dimka's chick** (Thanks :3),** My-Inner-Writer-Comes-Out** (Lol, good enough?), **Fiera Hathaway **(Awesome :D We aim to please (;), and **xX Dimka's girl 4 ever Xx **(Me too :/).


	23. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own VA.

_Why give up?_

_Why give in? _

_It's not enough._

_It never is._

_So I will go on until the end._

_We've become desolate._

_It's not enough_

_It never is._

_So I will go on until the end!_

_I've lost my way, I've lost my way,_

_But I will go on until the end_

_The final fight, I win!_

_-Until the End, Breaking Benjamin _

RPOV:

I took deep breaths, then smiled down at my daughter, Maysen Alexia Belikov. Four years had passed since the whole ordeal, and I was correct in assuming that I was pregnant. Though Maysen had come at a bad time, she made our lives so much more brighter. She could never replace Xavier, but I loved her just as much. She resembled her father more than me, with his brown hair, eyes, and height. At four years old, she was taller than any child I had ever seen. We'd decided to name her after the two people that impacted our lives. Mason, for saving it; Alexia for almost taking it.

In the last four years, I often thought about what could have happened. What would it be like if I knew my sister? What would it have been like if I grew up with her? Over the last four years, I'd come to terms with the fact that Mom had taken me away from Abe for both of our safeties. Part of me was actually proud of her; I couldn't imagine how much strength it had taken her to let me go. I understood now that the reason she didn't visit was because she didn't want to get hurt so much, and to keep me from hurting just in case something were to happen to her. I loved her all the more for it.

Over the last four years, Dimitri and I had moved into a small apartment near Lissa and Christian, instead of the guardian rooms. We made that decision after Maysen was born, deciding it would be easier being near her aunt and babysitter while I was at work. It made the walk much quicker, too, when Lissa became pregnant and her hormones were crazy. Her and Christian got married shortly after Lissa found out she was pregnant. Though it wasn't the princess wedding she'd always wanted, she was happy to tie the knot with Christian and avoid the condemnation of the Royals for getting pregnant before marriage. She was now training to be the next queen, since there was now an heir.

And now, after four years, a child, and the wedding of friends, Dimitri and I were finally getting married. We'd wanted to wait until things settled down and Maysen was old enough to participate. So here I was, minutes away from walking down the aisle.

"Are you ready, May?" I asked my daughter. She made the most adorable flower girl in her pretty blue dress.

"Uh-huh, Mommy. Can I see Daddy now?" she asked impatiently.

I chuckled. "Of course. In just a little bit."

"She takes after you," Abe said jovially from the doorway.

I laughed. "I know, I know. I've taught her well."

"Well, it's time," Abe said. He took my hand. "I'm so proud of you."

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him before nodding. "Okay, May, get your basket."

"You look beautiful, Rose," Lissa said, squeezing my hand.

"Thanks. So do you," I replied.

Lissa went first, as my maid of honor, walking down with Christian, since he was Dimitri's best man.

Maysen followed, throwing flower petals everywhere, before becoming too impatient and simply running up to Dimitri, screaming, "Daddy! I missed you!"

I laughed quietly as Dimitri swung her up into his arms, giving her a quick kiss before handing her off to my mom. She'd been with me during my hen's night.

It was my turn to go, and halfway up the aisle, I understood Maysen's impatience. I just wanted to be up there with Dimitri finally, getting married. So, being the mature mother I was, I broke rhythm and began walking faster, forcing Abe to speed up with me. Chuckles could be heard in the crowd, but I paid them no heed.

Once I reached Dimitri, Abe handed me off, and the ceremony began.

As the priest began speaking, I stared at Dimitri, turning my head slightly, though I wasn't supposed to. He looked absolutely scrumptious in his suit, his hair tied neatly back. It had grown out since he'd cut it short when Maysen took a particular liking to pulling it.

Dimitri smiled as he looked right back at me, his eyes shining with love.

_I love you,_ he mouthed.

My heart swelled and my face hurt with the size of my smile. _I love you, too,_ I mouthed back.

"I do," Dmitri suddenly said, startling me. He was actually listening?

Dimitri nudged me. I gave him a questioning look. _I do, _he mouthed

My eyes widened as I realised I had completely ignored everything being said. Oops.

"I do," I said quickly.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, though you hate your full name, I love you and I promise to love you until the day I die. I promise to protect you, to love and cherish you, for the rest of forever. I promise to love everything about you, even your irritating quirks, because I know without them you wouldn't be you. I promise to support you in everything, as long as it's sane and I promise to help you out when you go through your non-sane plans and get in trouble." There was laughter in the audience at that. I rolled my eyes. "I promise to be faithful to you, because even if I wanted to cheat, you would kill me." More laughter. "I promise to stay with you no matter what, but above all, I promise to love you even when you don't want me to."

My eyes almost welled up at his vow. I had to take several breaths to keep myself from bawling my eyes out.

"Dimitri Belikov, I promise to love you until the world blows up, if it ever does. " Dimitri chuckled. "I promise to take care of you when you're sick, even though I can't cook. I promise to love everything about you, even though there's so much of you to love. I promise to love your bad taste in music and books, and movies. I promise to love your cooking, even if you make something gross." Dmitri snorted, giving me a look that plainly said, _like I would ever do that. _I bit back a laugh. "I promise to be faithful and I promise to give to more children to love. I promise that I'll love you even when you're old and fat and bald. I promise to protect you from everything and to do my best to keep myself safe for you. I promise that at the end of the day, I will always come back to you. I promise to love you even if you don't."

Dimitri's eyes were shining with tears. The priest spoke again, but I missed what he said, completely entranced in Dimitri's eyes.

The presenting of the rings passed by in a blur of words, and then we kissed.

The kiss went on for a little longer than was appropriate for small eyes, but I couldn't help myself; it has been more than 24 hours since I last kissed Dimitri. I couldn't pull myself away from his addictive lips. Finally, Christian pulled Dimitri back, breaking us apart.

"...I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Belikov."

People were cheering and clapping, but all I could focus on was Dimitri's hand in mine, his eyes on mine. Then a little voice broke our stare.

"Mommy, Daddy, is it time for food yet?"

Dimitri and I exchanged a look and began laughing. Dimitr knelt down and picked Maysen up before putting her on his shoulders.

"Of course it's time for food," he exclaimed. "What are we waiting for?"

Laughing, we led everyone to the reception. Though it wasn't perfect by most people's standards, my family was perfect to me, and we were about to embark on our perfect, dysfunctional life. Today was just another exciting day.

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><p>AN: Well...that's the end. :'( I hope you enjoyed it(: No, there will not be a sequel. But if there's any outtakes you guys want, let me know! :D

Welp, this is the last time I will do this :/ Thank you for reviewing to the following people: **Kitty** (There it is :/ Updated. For the last time :'(), **Dimka's chick** (Haha yeah :P),** J** (I wasn't, Rose wasn't in her right mind. She was upset. And that's two stories. I don't always bash Janine. She rarely even plays a part in my stories.), **bboop12** (I took your advice! :D), **Rose-loves-Dimitri** (Haha yup :D), **Dragons-Twilight1992, PEGGY** (Took your advice :D You like?), **RozaRocks **(Thank you :3 Yup, she does xD Well, did. I don't know, she may now xD Mhm 3), **Fiera Hathaway, Kay1a **(Oh, I'm sorry I made you cry! :/ It wasn't my intention!I'm glad you liked it, though(:), **0.0-MIDNIGHTROSE-0.0** (Yes, they all found happiness :D), and** My-Inner-Writer-Comes-Out **(Good :D No, I'm sorry :/ I have too many of those to write! xD)


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